I sit here
in the dark
lost in thoughts,
torn apart.

There is blood
on my hands
of my foes,
of my friends.

As I look at each finger,
I let memories linger.

Only blood
know my hands –
of my foes,
of my friends.

I am death,
unworthy
of your love,
your mercy.

Yet, you kiss every finger.
Your kind warmth, your breath linger.

I’m still here
in the dark,
but in you
I see light.

I Love You, my darling..
Before I sleep, I'll trade whispers with the sky
and tell the moon all about you..

Of all the anger
and hurt and pain
I am left with
Nothing but a mere memory
Nothing but two bare bodies
lost deep in understanding
each other's pieces
and muffled laughter and
glee kept hidden
as to not overthink
each carress
and fond eyes looking back
and trembling hands
touching so soft
barely there

She was good at goodbyes
And he was bad at them.
Together they were one collision away from pain.
And yet somehow when his need met hers.
There was calm inside the chaos.
He was patience incarnate.
She was unconditional love.
The two, a connection so deep.
A feeling in their souls.
That this wasn't meant to be goodbye.
But a hello that never got old.

I will heat the soup
you forgot to drink

After I kiss the space
between your eyebrows

It makes my heart beat fast fast fast
When you say you love me, more open than you've ever been before,
And i know it's because i let you take my heart with you and trusted you not to break it,
It's soft isn't it ? makes you melt,
Lets you know that love is a gift i gave you
And you give me too,
And my heart,
It does love you.

I realized something.
Tenderness gets you nowhere in the face of apathy.
Apathy is ruling us.
It is ruling me in my heart and in its grotesque reflections.
I cower at it and forget myself and whimper and say all the wrong things.
Hateful things, as my heart is on fire.
There is an anger in me, a blood red rage and then there is calm, cool, unaffected apathy.
It does not rear its head like the bull of my anger, but sinks like a stone.
Makes cool my bones.
I would rather spit fire, I’d rather let it wreck my lungs.
I wish I could scream it out or fight it out or **** it out or maybe just forget it exists.
But it remains frozen ice throughout me that weighs me to the ground.
The magnet that pulls me down down down.
Maybe this is the doomed, inevitable thing I’m feeling, the fear that my apathy will never melt away.
That I’ll never see the brighter days.
The stars in me keep choosing the wrong things and i’m lost in a galaxy of apathy.
Tenderness would melt me.

A case for apathy-- maybe I would get some sleep.

𝓗𝓮𝓻𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓰𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓮𝓷 𝔀𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓼 𝓻𝓲𝓼𝓮 𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓱𝓲𝓹
𝓑𝓮𝔂𝓸𝓷𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓶 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓴𝔂 𝓲𝓼 𝓮𝓷𝓭𝓵𝓮𝓼𝓼
𝓐 𝓱𝓪𝔃𝓮 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓯𝓸𝓰𝓼 𝓶𝔂 𝓼𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽
𝓐 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓬𝓪𝓾𝓰𝓱𝓽 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓫𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓿𝓸𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽 𝓵𝓲𝓰𝓱𝓽
𝓑𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓭 𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓮𝓼,  𝓯𝓾𝓵𝓵 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓻𝓲𝓹𝓮
𝓢𝓮𝓮𝓶 𝓽𝓸 𝔀𝓪𝓵𝓽𝔃 𝓪𝓵𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮
𝓐 𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓬𝓮, 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓘
𝓘𝓷 𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮
𝓣𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝔀𝓮 𝔀𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓷𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓭