1.
When I was 13 years old, I thought I had hit rock bottom. I thought I could never see the sky as blue again, only as a shade of I-don't-want-to-be-outside.
2.
At 14 years old, I wish I had someone who could have made me feel better, who would take me to a better place. But not the better place that people call death.
3.
I stopped believing in myself when my mother told me I never even tried.
4.
I said to her that I tried so hard, maybe even a little too hard, that eventually I became nothing.
5.
Well, at least that was what I thought back then.


1.
Nowadays, I call myself a fortune teller. I will become an astronaut, or even a scientist. I will become the inventor of something amazing.
2.
I also found out that the person in the mirror is smoking hot.
3.
A pair of wings had grown on me. I do not need other people anymore to tell me that I will be just fine. Just. Fine.
4.
A couple of years later, I have all kinds of things growing inside of me. Some people call it selfconfidence and a pretty smile. I call it healing.
5.
I am healing.

Have you ever been feeling fully absorbed but yet exhausted?
You talk to someone over the phone but you feel the hold of his arms around you?
You call someone at 2am in the morning but you feel like scrumbled in the blanket with him?
And when yoy look at his eyes and telling secrets, it feels like you open the gate of another dimension where you both can share thoughts and think about the idea of life?
Well, I'm in.
To whom who never been in love, you should been into
I don't say that love is everything but when you're in love,
You will feel that you are everything to someone, and vice versa.
You shouldn't hate love and don't wanna try it again.
Just love yourself first than youcan love someone that much like you love yourself.
I mean guys,
Have you ever been in love?
So mad, so deep, and crave the love so high the ocean would be jealous?
Well, I'm in.

- dlx

You see that girl with the front row.
There’s something behind her eyes
Drawing me closer to the fact,
that i want to get to know you.
I want to fall in love with her eyelashes.
They move gracefully like the butterflies in my stomach.

So i guess that’s something we have in common.
She’s a dancer, and ever since I imaging waltzing in her daydreams,
She will never have another nightmare while i’m around.
I will slay every dragon of her self doubt, tame the anxiety in her mind.
and rescue her from what society says
never looking back.

I’ve never been in love before,
but she’s got this charm that makes me dare to try.
And I try not pry, but I want to dissect her smile.
I want to put each corner of her mouth under a microscope
and see the difference after every joke i make.
She looks like she can tell the me about the blue sky
and paint me a picture with the stars,
so I’ll never have walk home on a dark night again.

Her words might just, just shoot arrows from cupid's bow
and puncture my chest with all the answers,
why I should fall for her.
She looks like she wants a bad boy.
I am not a bad boy.
I don’t drink, I don’t ride a motorcycle,
i don’t swear around polite company.

But I play poker.
I put all my chips in the *** of life.
And bluff my way through with my cards on the table.
I will teach her all the ways to play with my emotions.
I will bet she will smile on our first date.
If I win, she has to let me fall for her,
and when i win, all she has to do, is let me fall for her.

I will be everything if you want me to.
I will be anywhere if you need me tho.
I will be something if you like to call.
I don't care I'm crazy when I'm with you.

When I'm with you, it didn't feel like wrong.
Everything goes right and everything is just beautiful.

I don't much mind what everyone think about us, they said we're dangerous and dark.
It's just because they only see with the eyes,
They're not understand and look at by the heart.
I don't care about anyone think of you, they can talk what they want.
I just want to listen to what you say.
You're naughty, cringey, or a smoker.
I don't care.
Because love is just love, for anyone and everything..


- dlx

I saw you left me,
In front of me,
Let my eyes wet,
Let my hair blows in the wind,
Let my lips balmed with the tears
Let my heart bleed.
Alone,
You left me, that day.
I still remember you said, "I'll be missing you everyday, everytime, and every beat of my heart."
But now,
Just tell me how to cry when you were gone.
Just tell me how to calm when I miss you like crazy
Just tell me the reason you already planned,
Why you did everything to me if in the end you will leave me?

I'm reaching out to you
Can you hear my call?
Can you hear that my heart screams?
Do you feel called?
This strange days I've been through without you,
Can you feel me like I feel you?
I miss you like this, crazy.

Just tell me the night when you decided to move out,
To somewhere further,
And all you did to me was calm me down not to cry,
Not to hate you, and punch you up.
And over the roads we passed that night, your fingers never be separated from me.
I miss that.

I really wanna feel you beside me.
Treat me like a best friend, sister, and a mother.
You always try to make yourself idiot when I'm upset.
We hate the same things, but always, I wanted you first.
I really need those gold old days comes back.
Is like kaleidoscope of memories.
The never ending story.
The unknown story for two strange mates.

What a truly farewell.
Sorry,
I'm crying.

Dear, B.

- dlx

As what people said,
Write first, decide what the title then.
Think first, and you can speak your opinion.
Draw first, paint it later.
Wear first, the problem fits in you or not, it doesn't mind.
Love first, and you can feel loved.
Smile first, and you can get a bonus.
Make other happy, then can see their smiles make your day pops out.
And,
Act first, and thinking about the risks later.

Well,
It's hard to start but it's simple to end.
It's hard to see but it's easy to look at.
It's hard to make but it's easy to destroy.
It's hard to fight but easy to let go.
It's hard to make things goes right but easy to stop it.
It's hard to make things lasts forever while it's easy to start all over again.
It's hard to say but it's simple to write.

That's what we do.
That's what we live.
Welcome, to the reality.

- dlx

Appreciate little things,
Accept the bad things,
And embrace failure.

It may seems simple.
But nowadays,
I think it's so hard to find the people who always accept everything on their own,
They're not blame anyone,
But make it as a lesson.

Nowadays,
Th ain't the same thing as I expecting
People get angry easily,
And always blame on something that doesn't even make any sense
People get hurt and end up feeling guilt.
They just throw their problem into something beautiful and destroy them with their guns.
Their rude words.

As you see and you're right,
It is just a words,
It's not hurt your body, make you bleeding, or even killing you.
But it could make things worse,
Hurt your mind, bleed your heart, and **** your soul.
You might just see me speechless, standing there, listening to you rambling.
Without knowing exactly what I feel, what is really going on inside of me.
You just see me alright,
But deep down, I feel the deepest sad in the deepest trough of my heart.

I bet you don't know.
You will never know.
And I hope you don't know tho.

- dlx

Stranger Sun -

You only look in one side,
You don't care about someone who hides in the bushes adoring you so much,
You don't care about how someone saw you in her opinion,
Which is rare, special, and unknown.

Maybe you'll never know about it,
Because all you do is just do everything for yourself,
You might be know it, but you never care about it.

People, your friends, your family, can give you everything that you want,
They can give you anything,
A thousand gems,
A million dollars,
A billions stars,
And they can give you their world.

But I ask you for now,
Is that the things that really make you happy?
Make you smile within a cry?
Make yourself living your life?
Is that really necessary?

Look down, look back, and look at the other side.
There's someone out there really wanted to make you happy
But she's just too afraid if she ends up make you illfeel
She has no guts for facing the facts that you just don't care about everything, anything, and the things that she did.
She's scared to be left with feelings of guilt, hurt, and sad.

Can you just thinking,
How if she never loved again?
How if she never feel the love again?
How if she always waiting for you?
How if she can't control herself to loving you this badly?
How if she loss her words to describe and explain how much she wants you?
How is she got lost, and you are one of the only destination she had,

And it's called Home ?

Answer this.

- dlx

Over this million of people,
How can I still fall for you?
Over this million thoughts,
How can I still missing you?
Over this billion stars,
How can I still stuck up here and listening to my songs that soon will be yours.
Over this nonsense feelings,
Why I still can't see you within me dancing on the rain?

Over this freaking words,
Why I still can't tell you hmily? - dlx

My mind feels empty
I have to fill it with statistics,
German books and algebra.
Lost words put on test sheets
are the result of having to fill
my mind with things
I don't believe in.
Fill my mind with the
warmth of your skin,
The sound of your voice
and the words you say
These will never turn into lost words
put on test sheets,
or make my mind feel empty.
Cause the feeling of you
doesn't leave me questioning