i don’t like thinking about the stain on my brain
about the awful
disturbing things
that i’ve done and seen and played out in my skull
oh no, i don’t like who i am
the truth of it all?
i don’t like feeling this small.
i’m on fire and i think everyone should just let me burn,
or toss me into the pool and then let me drown,
save me just to **** me in a different way,
pull me out and put a needle in my veins
i need to change
i need to want to change.
did you like who i was yesterday?
i think i’ll be her again.
do you think we could scrub my mind clean and just begin again?
i could forget your name and you could forget that night in my bed
no one would need to know a word that i said
and somehow i’ll know not to touch you ever again
and then you could heal and i could be cleansed-
i don’t like thinking,
i don’t like being a part of the torture that was my upbringing.
i don’t like sleeping,
i don’t like being the last bit of defense before you start swinging.
i wanted to be something better than i am today
but i can’t point out exactly when everything blew up in my face
and even though it’s my fingers that are covered in this powder
i’m sure it’s anyone else’s fault for how i got here.

Hold on,don't leave me just yet,
I haven't played my last card left.
Whoever you want to see,I'll reflect.

I hope my jokes land right,
Funniest story I know,just to keep you light.
Won't be washing where you just touched
So maybe you'll notice how much you're adored.

It' okay,I'll let you correct
Carve me out,piece by piece
But I'm begging,please
Hold on,don't leave me just yet.

I will stay with you,
Even when the times are hard,
We can make stone soup.

Don't let this dream I dream slip away, don't let it leave the brightest spotlight of my day.

Silent like a sundial in the sunshine,
I can only wish to claim you as mine.

I promise I'm just orbiting the sun in its natural RAYs.
You're a beacon of hope shining through the sunbeams today.

For the moments we share, reaching out to my friend,
in heart, mind, and soul, this bond can never end.

Let our bond be one of a kind,
special, just as we dream,
like a lighthouse searching with its brightest beam.

I'm here not to possess you,
just to bask in the warmth of your words and smile.
Your presence is like still waters on the sea across the miles.

In the beautiful colors of life, you're the most beautiful shade I've seen.
The laughter flows naturally and gently, like water rolling in a stream,

Talking like we are weaving a beautiful tapestry with our words.
Time, like wings that grow on the most beautiful bird.

In your presence, I only wish to exist  one day.
Please don't stop showing me that I am worth the stay.

Of all the time passing, of all the days apart,
keep me close to you, in your thoughts and in your heart.



Leanne ☀️

So here I am,
all wired up
and feeling weird,
but, it is not quite
as scary as I had feared.
I am just chilling out
here in my hospital bed,
with staff checking
periodically
that I'm not dead.

My gown has got gaps
where gaps shouldn't be,
revealing parts of my body
that folks shouldn't see!
The cardiac ward
is not my choice
of a holiday home
and not the vacation
that I wished to go on.

Yesterday afternoon
the consultant
did their walk,
visited and spoke
in medical talk,
but, I just nodded
and agreed, although
Myocardial Regurgitation
completely baffled me!

(Thank the lord for Google!)

Sadly I have
to pay to watch TV,
but hey,
at least the WiFi is free.
The nurses are awesome,
they check my stats
and bring cups of tea,
and someone else
is cooking my meals for me.

©️Lizzie Bevis

Stay close dear soul, in this tempest’s gale,
Where shadows threaten to unravel and assail.
Don’t walk away, for within our shared breath,
Lies the tether that keeps us from the edge of death.
When separation looms, life turns grey,
A canvas devoid of hues, where dreams sway.

If,
you cannot stave the storm.
Be the storm.

I didn't realize it was raining until my clothes were soaked.
A dense fog abruptly concealed everything around me.
Apathy is a thief of reason.
It's easy to forget why we stay.
Instead, I ask what I'd miss.
The warmth of the sun on my face.
The sound of the ocean hitting the shoreline.
My best friend's laugh.
My cat purring.
The mountains.
Late-night drives.
Music.
Trees.
Fleeting moments that we take for granted.
The rain will stop and my clothes will dry.
The fog will dissipate.
And I will choose to stay.