Washing my hands clean of the marks I no longer want to see.

Let's become strangers again love ~
I will stare into your blue eyes for the first time as you will gaze into mine ~
I will swim in their depths as if I've never dipped my toes into the sea ~
We will hold hands as if we've never felt the warmth of each others skin ~
We will look at sunsets as if the day will never fade again ~
We'll become strangers love ~
And start this journey all over again ~

Copyright Tia Jane Fajardo

packed and left but now people care.
didn't even notice when I was there.

say their goodbyes, farewells, so longs.
doesn't matter that I'm already gone.

now I'm here, and now im alone.
in a new place I have to call home.

starting all over in this new place
all old memories hope not to erase.

and through it all to myself I stay true.
for a wise one once said, hard things I can do.

Not suicidally
Or accidentally
But in the sense
Of noteriety

I dont want
Anyone knowing me
Or the awful human
I used to be

I want to start fresh
Do good for the world
Start charitable organizations
And be the angels herald

Even my own father
Calls me devlish now
So maybe its time
To five a final bow

Ill exit the stage
And sink from sinful fame
Ill do what i want
With no title or name

And how freeing itll be
To not look after you
To not reassure
Every ****** thing you do

And i wont tell a lie
Not even for my own good
And if you think me cold hearted
You clearly misunderstood

I wont pity petty people
I wont try and hold your hand
When all you want to do
Is fight the quick sand

Youre sinking faster
Than i can keep up
So im done going down
With a ship thats far sunk

So yes i want to die
Im exhausted from this
Life is miserable
When your boots are all i kiss

So im starting over fresh
Born again as a fresh new babe
And i hope this world is kinder
Than when i was first made

I never know what to say
Two and a half years will do that to you
You forget that there is a bigger world out there
I want to say something to you
But I lack the courage
I lack the skills
I get so scared
Things were easy before
I didn't have to think because nothing changed
Change is scary
Almost as scary as talking to you

quite some time ago
i wrote and wrote and wrote
it's the only way i'd let the true ache show
i let it spill vapidly across the page
releasing my teenage demons from their cage

i stopped caring for words when the drugs took over
the daily project to not be sober
no more worries and riddled with lies
like ophelia drowning obliviously
no longer caring what lives and who dies

now ten years later, let's try this again
back to my soul, find out who i am
maybe i still exist
somewhere deep down
a sliver, a sparkle, or gleam
maybe just some whisper of sound

this is my journey
to write my life into new
scribble out this disease
and abandon it too
after all, i'm everything my life can be
my world can't exist if there is no me

it's simple, really:
don't worry about what is ******
then, and only then, will you not self-destruct