Just look me in the eye
And tell me you love me

Ive put it off as long as i could....
going back to the ex's for awhile~
something i dont want to do but know i really should.

He is going to expect me to do certain things.....
but i wont want to do....
i may have to give in once a week but i will be thinking of YOU!!

Im gonna have to save up some money to be able to leave as soon as i can...
*** this is not where i want to be and he isnt gonna be my man.

as long as he's sober ..he is ok..
as i can usually get my way..

i just know that he is NOT the one for me....
just hope i can find the one that is to be.

its time to change and get things going right.....
just wish youd be in my life when im better to sleep with at night...

Im going there *** ive lost it all.....
my car and job and no place to live so he is my pick up on my down fall...

Well my car is in the shop and i cant get to work.....
if he was really liking me hed let me take his car to work...
but he doesnt *** hes just a ****.

But at least i will get my *** clean.....
just hope its done before he gets all bossy and mean.

the last i heard of you
you weren’t even trying
to get sober.
last you heard of me
i’m in college now
pursuing my career.
i still contemplate
your empty promises,
but now i scoff.
how could i have been
so blind?
you’ll never change for me
and you’ll never change
even for yourself.
as your body breaks
mine grows a new form -
one that no longer requires you.
i used to cry, thinking i missed
out on true love
and now i lay in the arms of
someone who loves me more
while you lay in a box.
i’ve broken out
and you’ve been nailed in

*(r.e.)

And now that its over
i'll never be sober
your lips
make me drunk
just like your hips
make me feel like a hunk

the liquor flowing through both our veins
making it forget all our pain
stabbing ourselves like hidan
i'll never forget being cheated on

So I sit here,
not alone
I have her,
the bottle that
won't let me stay sober

when you touched me, i shattered instantly, as if there was something deep inside me that could only be released by you.

2. i can't stop thinking about how your fingers melted straight into my flesh. soul searching for a host.

3. i think i knew i loved you when the sunlight broke in through the window and illuminated every freckle, wrinkle and crease. i thought - people **** to experience sights like these.

I don't need to list the reasons,
What I need is a reason not to.
You've heard me talk like this before.
And somehow my silence seems like a bandaid-
Like maybe if I just don't talk about it
Everything will get better.
Maybe if enough time passes,
It will all, eventually, heal.
But that is *******.
I don't need your permission,
**** forgiveness.
My intentions have their own agenda
But it's never hidden.
Quite the opposite- I'm plain sight.
Don't have to wait for night
To let the darkness take me.
I'm honest, open,
And honestly I'd rather be sleeping
In a closed casket; no one
Wants to see my blown off brain bits
And some teeth meshed with leftover tendonis threads
Dangling from my severed neck.
But those tooth shards are smiling-
The bandaid has been ripped off
The time has ran out,
Sand in my mouth.
Dirt where my eye sockets used to be.
This isn't me,
This whole "life" thing...
I don't need to list the reasons.

I never signed up for this ****-
Where do I **check out.

Sometimes we don’t know what sober is
Because the sadness makes us drunk
And our happiness makes us high.
Sometimes we’re only completely ourselves when we have a bottle in hand
And a smoke in the other.