It's all just numbers, isn't it?
Day by day,
Year by year,
Day by day look at the number on the scales.
Let the caloric calculator count until your head is filled with numbers.
Minute by minute count the seconds it takes for him to text you back.
Let the doubt and fear multiply until your head is full of him.
Term by term let a percentage on a piece of paper define your worth.
Don't we have better things to do than count?
seeing hatred in the eyes that once showed you immense love
is as painful as life can get
when love dies, you feel it.
have I become just a 'friend' to you?
whose calls you don't return
4 am texts you leave unanswered
only calling when it's convenient to you
only missing me when you feel like it.
how do I get myself to do what you're doing to me?
the truth is, I would never do what you're doing to me.
my love life is a mess.
love is a mess.
do you miss me like I miss you?
tried so hard to focus on myself
but all I am reminded of
when did the butterflies in my stomach
into a nauseating pit of anxiety?
love can be patient and kind but also stressful and cruel.
I love him
I tell myself
I know that
We will be together forever
I don’t believe that
We could be separated
My thoughts tell me that
He’s the love of my life
Sometimes my heart lies and says
I could live an eternity
Like my friends say
“We’re perfect for each other”
And you can’t tell me
He’s not the one.
Now read from bottom to top.
today, I witnessed death.
the death of a being so close yet so unfamiliar.
I witnessed how less people cared
also how much they cared
about something so minuscule.
the lump in my throat refuses to settle
and my heavy heart weighs me down.
how will I ever deal with the death of someone so close,
when I can't even comprehend that of a distant one?
yes, death is a part of life but any death, big or small, can trigger strong emotions.