Everyone can say they love you
Not everyone actually loves you
Love is something all humans know of
Love is something we live by
We write, sing, talk, type, paint, draw, craft, cook, sculpt: LOVE
But why do we insist on wanting something that hurts so bad?

Your heart causes the teardrops to fall,
Your heart turns the pain into nothing at all.
Don't care about the mistakes, the flaws.
Just wish I had tried harder and called.

All disappeared and faded away,
When you’d open up and begin to say,
Of your hopes, dreams and fears.
I’d tell you mine but you’re always near.

You draw me closer with every heartbeat,
Following my small voice along when you sing.
I love who I love, that’s just how it is,
But I can’t move on if you’re who I miss.

Never felt the same about anyone else,
They were attractive but couldn’t be held.
I wish you the best regardless of spouse,
Just wish they’d find the same treasure I found.

I’ll never forget the smile on your face,
Ever since I met you life wasn’t the same.
I’d mean the world to me if I could make you smile,
Even if your adored face will be shown just for a while.

Flies crept on cremated wounds
                       that had healed untidy..
stitches were never removed
they just descended within
                               suffocating the scars..

Scratching at there depth
within.
              The conciseness
       that caused the cuts to linger.
But still they bled internally.

Your scheming of false fears
            will be actioned upon...
Your just a canary in a coal mine,
        not realizing your already dead.
suffocated within a dark place..

I'm never going to heal,
           but I'm never going to
suffocate on my ego.
         Yours will just sing
till no one listens, sing silently little bird.

Taking simple pleasures
drawn from simple things
Making simple treasures
from all that life may bring
Taking simple measures
to make me a little slim
And through whatever weather
I'll find just cause to sing

She closed her eyes
serene in her anticipation of There,
in her unshakable hope for Then.
And blind, she sat
unaware of the joy of the Here,
closed to the pleasure of the Now
- both within an arms reach of her dreaming.

She opened her eyes
smiling at the memory of what was
laughing at what had been
looking back with thanks.
And thankful, she sang
And thankful, she shouted
with echoes of healing,
of growing,
of climbing -
to the Here,
to the Now,
ready for the Next,
anticipating the Not Yet
and prepared for all that is promised.

But for now
she looked back
with thanks
and she - just - sang!

that feeling of making music with you
of singing
and harmonizing

is why I love a choir

I go through my playlist,
looking for all the songs
that like-crazed people
have written for me and
for lonely nights as these.
This voice of stranger that sings my pain
takes me back to this same bed
and same sorrow
somewhere in the past that I want to loose.
Someone sits beside me yet again.
And this weight
is as frightening
as comforting.
To know that the spirits of the nights
that I have killed
are again here,
to take away a friend of theirs.

On nights like these,
I prefer the company
of sad cries that people call songs,
of walking memories that people call ghost.