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mine myopic eyes stare intently in2 cyberspace
folk kiss my sing song snap chat ting
mine eyes fixated b4 ur image seconds erase
with an exclamation of eureka a ha -
u look familiar at least yar face
mebbe we both lived during the same time
centuries ago, eh
perhaps in adjoining caves some place
and/or dashed off the starting line of tha human race.

this yo dull ling josh hing glute max a mess ****
tooting ring ding oof a max i mus drake
haint named bruce
boot ah do like the taste of cous cous
what the deuce
as i goose
step wit a ***** loose
whereby bull winkle the moose
n natasha the squirrel plus otter creatures
tink i lack mental juice
er purr haps goot a ***** el loose
i.e. ja dat - right duh gray matter
of dis knit wit "infamous" noose

cents, sum hmm iz amiss
from dis indigent guy
still lugged in a papoose
cob bulled with whirled wide web
peppered with rotten green tomatoes -
prompting n immediate VAMOOSE
& find my rye ming ting ab
solute zero in chime with zee cuckoo
ready 2 call up doktor demento ore zeus.

thus, this friendship introduction
will mutual ideally nada blow
based on ma unseen essence of body, mind
& soul moreso than dough
i.e. money, which tends
2 be a superficial criteria
viz assess worthiness to flow
toward greater comprehension
akin 2 a garden
that requires one 2 **** din ***
thus, this common non sloppy joe
maw owl ease keeps 2 himself i.e. ya know
a contemplative sort & writes ha low

2 you crossing fingers
no immediate aversion arises,
yet an emphatic "no"
toward me would be taken
in stride per this poe
it, whose ability finds comfort
within the simple pleasures
of life while invisible 1 that doth row
this creaky human vessel,
yes on occasion calls out 4 a big tow.

mebbe as a d liver e purse son
2 supplement social security income
(this disability 4 generalized anxiety)
within me gray matter doth lay.
NitaAnn Oct 2017
I stand here knocking
On Death's door
I am asking to come in
Life is too overwhelming
I am ready to move on
Maybe the next life
Will treat me kinder
As this life has been hard
So I stand here knocking
On Death's door.
NitaAnn Oct 2017
so this happened...
it has happened before
then i can stop
but it always comes back
back to the blade
the shiny blade
it calls my name
begs to feel my skin
as it slices
red bubbles up
and runs down my arm
funny i don't feel the pain
so it cuts again
and again
making thin red lines
so this happened....
NitaAnn Oct 2017
Self
Personal
Me
Alone

Judgement
Punishment
Deserved
Guilty

Facing
My
Own
Inadequaties

Self-Judgement*

Sentence passed

Only death will pay
max May 2017
my hand roars
with searing pain.
"i dont know how
this happened,"
i explain. but in truth,
my art teacher
left a box of sharp objects
on her desk
and my little hands
just wanted to grab one
just wanted to try
S Dec 2015
I...

Still
Earn
Love,
Find

Hope
And
­
Recover
More
Every
D
*ay
We can recover, someday.
S Dec 2015
I'm not trying to **** myself
My cuts are merely a cry for help**

You could read them like a journal if you were to look hard enough
This one from the time I cried until I could't cry anymore
That one from the time when sleep was oh so far away
And that one there, just a scar
That was my first cut, the one that began it all

Sometimes the only way to bury the emotional pain
Is by covering it with the physical pain

Like the bite of a dull kitchen knife against your stomach
Or the burn of a sharp one

The little beads of blood welling to the surface
Like the tears of my emotions
In physical form
Some people ask what it feels like to cut yourself
NitaAnn Sep 2015
I have tried so hard to move forward
I really want to be happy
To accomplish things
Put the Past behind.

But the voices in my head
They whisper and yell
Lies, and half-truths
They make me doubt.

They can twist everything
Make it seem like I am
Unwanted, unloved
A failure.

I do not know how to silence them.
NitaAnn Aug 2015
I am his little puppet
He calls, I run
He hits, I break
He touches, I cringe and endure
He controls me

He controls my spirit
He controls my mind

I try to untie the strings
And be a real person
But each time I slip one off
He is right back to tie it on tighter.

The puppet master
He beckons for me
He wants to see me dance
I dance for him
With silent tears
rolling down my cheeks.
Wishing I could take a string and wrap it around my neck.
NitaAnn Aug 2015
I try so hard to not let him win
But then the letter or call comes
And I am right back there again
Under his control.

Feeling lost and hurting
Wanting all the pain to leave.

My head hurts
My heart is broken
I am a mess.

I cannot function like this anymore
I am done

He has ruined my day....again.

Happy Birthday to me
He's back.
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