we have been blessed with womanhood.
not in a biological sense, nor a societal one,
but a blessing, due to our values.

no man could ever make my blood so darkly crimson
make my heart race, beat
in places within me for which
i should be so condemned.

i live for the subtle pain
of lying down once
you've torn my back to shreds–

it's the ghost of you keeping me on my toes.

i want the wine to hit you like it hits me
like it makes me want you
what it makes me want
to do to you

the way the black and grey lines
make your face in my mind

and the screaming color which
you actually are

and on occasion–i am taken to
that place
where my clinical proudness
(and therefore, reserve)
is gone

and it doesn't matter except
that you are mine and
i simply want to make that
very ******* clear

every time i look at you
i want you to know
that i am thinking about

the most carnal viciousness
and how it might
feel to be wanted
by you
how it might feel to
have you screaming
my name into my neck

how it might feel
sweet god among women
in my bed

let me tear apart the stitches in
your skirt

my dream
is to not have to sacrifice
one for the other–

as in,
you wanting me
for me taking you.

I want to make that journey
from your knees to
your hips again-
it was always my favorite route.
Soft plains,
colored of oats,
and each road
I know like the back of my hand.
With my destination in sight,
it's getting more humid
by the inch.
Hotter,
wetter,
hotter,
wetter.

Muse méduse, vierge et tremblante séductrice
Tu m'as demandé de te conter fleurette
Avec des mots fleuris
Avec des mots obscènes
Une fois qu'on serait intimes
Des mots cochons
Des mots sales, crus, cuits et recuits
Des mots tabous, interdits
Indécents et lubriques
Et je t'ai demandé de me fournir un échantillon
Et tu m'as dit que tu n'en possédais aucun.

J'ai cherché en vain un mot qui pourrait te plaire à entendre,
Ma chérie miel
Et aussi bien me plaire à te murmurer à l'oreille
En plein badinage et tripotage
Quelque chose qui véhicule l'idée de muse
Et dans allumeuse il y a muse
Mais allumeuse n 'est pas cochon
J 'ai pensé à fille de joie, fille de vie, traînée, souillon,
Ma cochonne, ma gueuse
Obscènes d'un tout autre âge
Et c'est alors que j'ai entrevu un instant
De te chuchoter catin à l'oreille.
Catin ça fait penser à câlin c'est un avantage
Mais ça fait aussi penser à salope et ça je n 'ai pas trouvé très élégant,
Même quitte à ajouter merveilleuse juste devant,
Ni putain ni **** d'ailleurs, même avec magnifique ou tendre,
Je suis donc revenu en catimini à catin.
Catin de katharina la parfaite, de katharos, pur en grec
Catin de Catherine le diminutif
Ma petite muse catin à moi, ma poupée dévote orthodoxe
Et perverse juste à point comme j'aime
Catin precieuse comme Manon Lescaut, soprano
Et j 'ai laissé le mot tabou macérer dans ma bouche vile quatre jours et quart.
Un jour peut-être j'aurai l 'envie et le courage de te le dire en plein déluge.
Peut-être dans une autre langue.
En anglais par exemple strumpet, trollop, bawd
En portugais meretriz
En roumain cocota
En allemand wanderhure
Tu m'appelleras alors fripon, chevalier des Grieux, ténor,
Tu me demanderas alors de te chanter des chansons cochonnes
Sur des airs de Massenet ou de Puccini
Des chansons à boire, polissonnes
Que je te chanterai à tue-tête pendant l'acte.
Tu voudras me cravacher avec une plume de paon
Pendant que tu me monteras
Ou joueras à l'infirmière
On fera l'amour sur les bancs publics
Discrètement et sûrement
Et tu ne porteras pas ta petite culotte bleue
Imprimée de rares papillons morpho
On échangera nos fantasmes
Comme quand petits on échangeait nos images ou nos billes
Tout ce que nous n'avons jamais fait
Tout ce que nous rêvons de faire ensemble
On parlera de se baîllonner, de s'entraver, de s'attacher
de se mettre un bandeau sur les yeux
On improvisera
Tu seras Poppy la cosmonaute
Et moi E.T. le martien.
Tu seras Apollo VIII
Et moi Cap Canaveral
Obscènes et heureux
Complices
Nus et sincères et amoureux
Dans un voyage intersidéral d'aller-retours
Entre la Terre et la Lune
Saturne et ses lunes
En apesanteur
Pour deux éternités.

I long for
(Sigh)
Wait give me a chance to settle in….
A night in with the four walls staring at us not making a squeak,  
Maybe good music playing in the background to set the mood
How about a high mood to set the company just right
How about the exchange of thoughts to get conversation just going right
Haha, is that really what you thinking?
How about I tell you what I’ve been thinking…
Well, let me enlighten you, I think of
You
Every single second of every minute
You are running a marathon of memories in my mind
Oh, where do I start?
No let me begin from the beginning when the walls were staring at the both of us
You settle me in just right, under your arms, in your bed, while the music is just doing the most in the back
Oh no we had more than enough to talk about cause our thoughts kept popping like pop ups on an internet site
Can I be granted the permission to share the moment when you kissed me and how it felt like the first but instead it was our fourth
The kiss may have been our fourth but what came after that mmh
Our first….
You handled me like a woman you’ve known for months (sigh), more like you studied every curve on my body
Every turn, every pleasurable moment felt like moments I was never going to feel again
My breath felt like it was my last
Your breath against my neck felt breathtakingly
When you reached your utmost pleasurable moment, with my nails engraved in your back, that kiss you planted on my forehead, just had to have a skip a beat in my heart
Oh no I think I’ve shared enough to describe my desirable craving
Which is YOU!

The night is still;
Quiet.
Chirps;
Punctuating the silence.

In the dark,
I see your silhouette.

A beauty,
A Goddess;
Heaven Sent.

Toasted inner thigh
glazed in our honey and sweat
was always your specialty

12:21 AM
28/9/19

He eats me up like a dinner at a five star restaurant
Can’t deny that my taste is flavorful
No need to make reservations
When I’m all he’s craving for
Devouring this feast
Had to tell him to slow down
The plate in front of him wasn’t going anywhere

I think back to when it happened,
to that beautiful day that suddenly became so dark
The day when it all happened,
the day he destroyed who I was
Leaving me shattered.

I fought. I cried.
But it didn't matter how loud I was.
Nobody came to help me.

I still wake up crying,
Freeze when I see him,
And I’m still scared,
every **** day.

I still think I see him,
even while I'm safe at home.
I close my eyes and tell myself it’s going to be ok
But I can't help but feel him.

A year later I still feel him.
His grip on my wrists, the smell of alcohol on his breath,
The weight of his body pressed against me as I tried to get away

He just continued,as I cried.
It didn't matter how loud I screamed,
Nobody came to help me.

Beckon to me
and call me over-
I want to be seduced
into forgetting just
how lost I am
without you.