The old man eats his TV dinners,
He's never learned to cook.
He believes it's a woman's job
But he never quite has the nerve to approach one.
Sure, there have been some
But far & in-between.
They don't stay long,
Bar the ones who have been there
Not to love but to take.
But he was smart enough
To cut them off
And not ache for a connection
Even if it wasn't genuine.
He has sense enough
Yet, not exactly a kind which is common.
For he finds it hard
To stand on ground equidistant.
But what is normal?

Is it such a thing as loneliness or love
Which more people take apart of?
In love there is loneliness,
Just as in loneliness there is love.
Whether it is from hearts together
Who can't stand each other,
Or from hearts seperate
Yet readily love one another.
Is it such a thing as loneliness in love
Or love in loneliness
Which more people find themselves in?
Of the equal strength it takes to stay
There is someone stronger in leaving,
Of the equal weakness it takes to wane
There is someone weaker in longing.
Yet, of the unrequited,
These are but fancy words
Which don't always flower to fruition.
And love can be won through persistence,
But to some it is akin to attrition.
The foundation of it loose & unstructured,
Rather than unbound & liberated.

Perchance, by the eye which beholds;
Some think it cowardly -
Some think it bold.
To go on loving, nonreciprocal.
To go on loving, unconditional.

We walked together
till together walked away
We stopped the walking
and sat down to lay
wondering how
life is heavy this way
not to carry
together’s slack
and whether we could carry
together another day
if together
were to ever come back
to stay

firth -
part
of the
sea; ebbs and
flows - an inlet of
the ocean at a wide river
estuary, a place where mourning songs are sung and
souls are lost and found and secrets revealed and waters are wide; a place to breathe for once.
the firth is where there is a separation of ways.
where we walk down one river each
and we don’t look back
go forward
forget
the
past.

You set my heart up on a shelf
Way too high for me to reach
So I can't take it down myself
Therefore you I must beseech

Heard the thoughts you left unsaid
Swear I can almost read your mind
Expression betrays what's in your head
To not read your face have to be blind

Coming to a reluctant acceptance
On the cold side of your shoulder
That I must live without your presence
To accompany me as I grow older

Hooking up with someone new
Doesn't really help at all
Because I compare everyone to you
Making it impossible to fall

Rusted trust is decomposing
Like cars in forgotten junkyards
Pits in my soul created by eroding
Leave my insides hollowed and scarred

If I only I could stop the sorrow
Cover ears but it still trickles in
Wish there was laughter I could borrow
To drown out echoes of your voice within

I try to track down explanations
For why things suddenly went wrong
Hindsight still sees no indications
Pointing to you saying "so long"

One moment we held each other tight
The next we were pulling apart
We swiftly went from kissing goodnight
To seperate beds and broken hearts

Yet again, we sat on a bench, this time without dark, grey clouds. And we erased away each other from our phones, we took away all that was us. And we said how much we loved each other and we cried. And when we once again walked away, I cried because I had gotten my ending, at last, the one I had wanted for so long. I was finally free from and so I kept crying.

And that was the last time it was us. The last time we met when it was real.

Afterwards, you have been in my mind more than I thought was possible and we have seen each other less that I believed we would, without really looking and never letting each other even a meter close to our hearts, never wanting to risk ever again to destroy everything we have so carefully rebuilt.

To wind I lend my ears,
her prank instantly cheers, then
on our separate ways.