Always assumed to be the villain,
Lingering in the shadows of a crooked path.
Am I misunderstood? Or is it just my destiny—
To be the star of my own one-man show? Isn’t it funny?

The irony is, promises were made.
Friendships did indeed fade.
But I am here, still at the restaurant,
Sitting in the corner I haunt.

A ghost of Christmas past,
Watching time slip through the cracks.
Thinking of the roads I never took,
And the weight of the past on my back.

Is redemption just a wishful dream?
Or a fate already cast?
I sit at the restaurant and I wonder-
When The Prophecy changes at last.

Her voice like a song
Running its fingertips through my hair
Ivory chords and wind blowing
Orange-coloured like that of dawn
Soft like a laugh and syrup

Her music isn’t just noises, and all along
It twists and dances like spells in the air
Emerald notes and feeling flowing
Blue-coloured like the sand and sea’s bond
Sweet like love as you try to keep up

She swings bright and long
Skipping in the sky with me, kind and fair
Quartz singing and so much heart showing
Violet-coloured like the rest of them, gone
Short like time we have, siphoned from our cup

But I’m a cacophony compared to her song
It’s all just noises and all along
I cry when I fall, harsh and long
I’m a cacophony when compared to her song

But I can’t hear the music playing in my hair
It’s angled and tripping over all of the air
I see what she sees, but it’s mean and not fair
I can’t hear the music that plays in my hair

But I fail and it’s dusk when she is the dawn
It’s low tide and the water breaks its bond
I run and I scream and my sound is gone
I fail and it’s dusk when she’d rather be dawn

But I prefer plain and not sticky sweet syrup
It’s hard to try but I must and I cannot give up
I wish for a drink, but from my still empty cup
I am quite plain and not sticky sweet syrup.

anxiety attack
sweat down my back

sleepless nights
and walking nightmares

I am being followed everywhere,
my own shadows are ahead of me

they lead the way,
and have me doubt
each step, each word, each thought
they crawl from underneath my skin
they mock, they push, they scream

“not good enough “
-again, they bluff

Conspire to inspire,
Inspire to admire,
Admire to aspire,
Aspire to set fire
To your demons
That conspire.

i failed,
please don't hate me.

tears fall,
nose aches,
throat burns.

hands tremble,
heart clenched,
lost in this ache.

my love can't defy you,
my weakness.

before the mirror,
"I'll make them proud,"
murmurs to my heart.

i failed,
please don't hate me.

You must be drunk or high
If you think that you're the guy
Who's going to change this world
With a poetry supply. So why even try?
A couple of sly rhymes and a clever word
scheme won't mean a thing when you die.

So, throw that to the side
and allow me to guide you. Back to the carousel,
Go ahead, take a ride. Those feelings will subside
Once I've got you back inside. You might as well have fun
'cause you can run, but you can't hide.

There's not a single space
Where I can't find your face
And when you try to elevate,
I'll put you right back in your place
So don't make the mistake
Of trying to take a leap of faith
Cause we'll be here again
But, by then, it's too late

You'll wind up a disgrace
And make your poor mom sob.
You'll lose that one shot at that cozy office job.
You'll still feel alone, and you'll still feel worthless
And all this disturbance because you think
you have a purpose? All this to be a servant
for people who don't want service?

You must be **** determined
to make a fool of yourself, but don't worry
It's all cool; that's why I'm here to help
So, just follow my directions and stay
the planned route 'cause you'll get chopped down
If you try to stand out, and your words don't matter
So just shut your **** mouth!

...Listen to my voice, and this will all pan out.
C'mon, have I ever let you down?
You know who I am. I am doubt.

How would I know I’m not a heavy-weight,
A burden those I love could start to hate?
Each word I speak feels like a sharpened stone,
Thrown into hearts that ache, yet not my own.

How can I be sure their light stays intact,
Unstained by shadows that my soul attracts?
What if my truths are daggers they can’t bear,
And I leave scars in places unaware?

How would I know their kindness doesn’t fade,
Eroded by the cost of love they’ve paid?
What if my pain becomes the thing they fear,
A haunting voice that whispers when I’m near?

How can I trust they’d hold their steady ground,
When I pull them to where I can’t be found?
What if my sorrow seeps into their core,
And they’re not who they were, not anymore?

What if I speak, and silence fills the air,
A proof their patience vanished unaware?
Do they resent the weight my words impose,
Or wish I’d keep my sadness undisclosed?

How would I know they won’t begin to flee,
Escaping from the heaviness of me?
What if their love gives out beneath the strain,
And all I’ve left are echoes of my pain?

I’m torn between the need to reach and hide,
Unsure if they can stand what’s locked inside.
Am I a poison slowly spreading through,
Or just a soul too lost to find the truth?

That’s why I think it’s better left this way,
Alone with all the words I’ll never say.
To die with silence wrapped around my chest,
And free them from the weight of my unrest.