The easy thing would be to tell you
that he wasn’t special,
that there are plenty of fish in the sea,
that time heals everything.
Half-truths,
empty phrases.

But if you want honesty,
I know how hard it is to have your heart broken.
When you gave everything,
more than you could afford to lose.

When you gave so much,
you almost lost yourself.
I tell you this because I’ve been there,
where the soul bleeds without end,

Where the days turn gray
just by wondering
what you did wrong
to make him leave.
Where you waited for that call,
that voice saying he wanted to talk,
that you still deserved to walk together,
side by side.

But now, I want to tell you,
life goes on,
even with a broken heart.
You’ll hear songs that tell your story,
but one day, it will just be a story forgotten.

One day, you’ll say his name without pain,
but with gratitude.
Because he made you stronger
than you already were.

Because life and destiny
will lead you to real love.

But today,
conquer yourself with the same passion.
Give yourself
all the love you were ready to give.
Take yourself to dinner,
dress up,
buy yourself gifts.

Love yourself like no one ever has.
Want yourself like no one ever did.
Desire yourself like no one ever will.

I'm eccentric

An enigma

Very flappable

Stoical sometimes

Rowdy

Quiet to a fault

I've been told

I love all shades wrong

You can't pin me down to a particular category

Notoriety you could say

Beign lambasted comes with the title

Embracing?maybe

But that had me covered in blotches

But I'm happier embracing that

Socially constricted

But my cycle love deeply in ways that is freeing to some

I'm exceptionally jumpy some days

Emotions ?lets say they are tasking

Let's say they are OK

I show them by helping out,reducing their burden

I know I'm strong physically

But I've learned recently

My mind is stronger

Being me is daunting

But no one else could play that role
Better than I do.

He is her mirror,
The one she stands before
Whether things are good or bad.
Until she walks away,
She doesn’t understand
The cracks spreading
Across her face,
Ignoring the obvious
She applies more makeup.
Though she’s gone,
Her presence lingers,
Soon to follow.

In front of her mirror,
She could speak as freely
As she wanted,
Be seen for who she is.
In front of family and friends,
She’s quiet,
Acting out of appearance,
Ignoring the space, she thought
Was empty.

She doesn’t think about it
Until a friend brings it up.
Talking about her own love life,
A place she feels secure.
Her friend’s smile, big and bright,
While she speaks.
She thinks of him,
Her mirror.
No matter how bad she feels.
He finds a way
To make her feel better.
If something is off,
He’s quick to point it out.
He’s always there when
She needs him.
She never had to speak
To be seen when he was around.
The only place she only felt whole.
The cracks on her face shows

I never loved me
But loved you til I forgot
How to hate myself

sticking to my guns,
i never realized that
they’re pointing at me.

i see flaws everywhere:

the skewed clock on the plastered wall;
the faces flashing past the curtain call;
the faithless creed of heathens, and sleazeballs;
the smiles that hide the symptoms of withdrawal;

i see laws bent out of shape:

the policemen advantaging off exposed women;
the two-faced lawyers in courts, who summon -
the men questioned of their dignity, and religion;
the reporters come drooling, for a big fat commission.  

i seek help, in vain:

the therapists diagnose me for a cerebral disorder;
they fail to put their words in the right order -
to put me at ease in the right frame of mind, so -
i accept my flaws under a contract, signed.

I am projecting
My self-rejecting
Onto other people

This harmless action
Destroys connection
All in my brain
A habit contained

Now realizing
Awareness sings
Let's liberate
Don't be afraid

Fears are surreal
Anxiety's real
People are mirrors
Of how I think and feel

i fake a smile at dinner;
try to recreate it in the mirror
when alone -
checking to see if they
could’ve seen through it.