love and to be loved
hate and to be hated must
exist together

I am
Simply
A
Human being.
And everything I am
Belongs to me.

Being
Imperfect
Being
Jealous
Being
Angry
Being
Healthy
Being
Silent
Being
Thirsty
Being
Dull
Being ...
Being ...
Being ...

A part of the crowd.
I am.
And all of this is enough.
And all of this is plenty.
And all of this makes me
A normal human being.

I compare my loneliness to the sound of a mourning dove.
It starts low and small, then goes up
It repeats the more each call goes unanswered

Perhaps letting it out, alone and loud
over and over
eases the pain, yet also pokes at the caged creature within
encouraging a festering of wounds.

A mourning dove never seems to be where the other birds are
Because when it calls it becomes all I can hear
It guides me far into the fog, ever elusive
until I finally spot it
high above on a line.

Every time it gets a little easier.
Every time it starts to sound less
like a Gymnopédie No. 1
and more like a Claire de Lune
major key as well as minor
content as well as sorrowful.

It's alone, and it's still singing.

if you stay in
your own head

the memories,
faded, might

leave you
in dread.

consuming,
just torturing
yourself

simply feeling
hopeless, and
angry instead.

it's not worth
putting yourself
through this

even if life's
a little complicated.

look with your
eyes, not
all hope is lost.

even in the
darkest places,

the light will
shine bright
when you need
it most.

Katanya, tak baik untuk memendam
Tetapi, tak semua rasa mudah memadam
Katanya, janganlah selalu dipendam
Nyatanya, tak semua cakap bisa meredam

Mereka, bisa menuntut
Tetapi, haruskah hati selalu menurut?
Mereka,  bisa bertindak sebagai penuntut
Tetapi, rasanya.. jiwa tak perlu selalu berlutut

Ada masa.. untuk menarik diri
Untuk bersimpuh, dan memberi diri afeksi
Ada masa... untuk menangis, memendam semua emosi
Untuk menyadari semua hanya proses menjadi asri

Terima kasih, sudah selalu kuat
Berdiri dan menjalani semua walau terasa berat
Terima kasih, sudah selalu kuat
Untuk kamu, yang terhebat..

I did it again... I did what I didn't want to do, that thing I've been resisting, that thing I no longer want in my life... I did it again! How can I do something I didn't want to do? There are 2 possible answers:
1- I decided to do it anyway, which is dumb!
2- Something else made me do it, which is suspicious!

If something else can make me do things, I don't have free will, and if there is no free will... It means I'm a SLAVE! Well to a certain extend I would say the science of brainwashing and manipulations which the most popular branch is named "Marketing" is just the science of Slavery! How to enslave people without being caught! Therefore, the second answer has some truth in it, yet I feel like I made the decision to do it. Just like all great sellers, they always make the prospect think that they made the decision to buy. Then if they don't like what they bought, they can only blame themselves. What a pitiful civilization.

Now you'll tell me that this is a sane world to live in! Everybody is doing their best to enslave you to their product, to their belief system, to their view of the world. They all want your money, your time, your house (if you have one), your mind, your attention... your soul! This is like "Wall-E", "The Matrix", "Terminator" and "The walking dead" mixed together with some "Constantine" black magic behind it...

So from a slave to another, next time you do it again (because you will!), don't beat yourself up. It's your responsibility, but it might not be your fault.

I’ve been feeling so small
feet took the best of me
and i didn’t want to tell you
but i thought my flowers were poison
and i thought that’s why he didn’t pick me

But i’ve been feeling so different lately
i stopped fearing the best of me
and i’ve been meaning to tell you
i think that’s why he didn’t pick me

Sun so high
i’m going to be carried away in the breeze
nature’s new lover
what a buzzing full song

I’ve been feeling too floral for the trees
i’ve learned to love me
and i guess i just told you
i don’t need you to pick me

Let my roots grow deep into the earth
let my blooms grow on
consumed by the green
i have love for the butterflies and bees

And i can grow up endlessly
leaves to scrape the sky
i’m going oh so high
and i’m going to be carried away in the arms of my lover’s breeze