By Arcassin Burnham


When the sun is off work and the moon takes shift and the
lights turn off , I'll b e missin' you,
As I lay in bed with the t.v. up loud while watching youtube,
I'll be missin' you,
Remaining thoughts run off at the top of my head but I'm slowly
calming down when I'm missin' you,
you give me lost thought highs, I ain't taking no drugs but I gotta
get you back cause I'm missin' you.

I know you wanna pick up the phone with shaky hands at a steady pace,
Sacrifices go out the window when i hold your face,
Cause now I'm contemplating love like I really didn't have a care in the world,
But if that were so you would have been erased,
Uncontrollable urges,
search for purpose just for loving,
Was it affordable to have a guy that you deserve or was it not in vain to sell
your heart in the first place,
I know a good guy would waste your time and all of your space,
bad boys come your way,
Your suddenly all nice, with me its all fake,
argued and yelled a lot,
but most arguments you just mistake,
I told you that I loved you everyday, It'll be forever,
Said **** it and left me with a four page letter.


When the sun is off work and the moon takes shift and the
lights turn off , I'll b e missin' you,
As I lay in bed with the t.v. up loud while watching youtube,
I'll be missin' you,
Remaining thoughts run off at the top of my head but I'm slowly
calming down when I'm missin' you,
you give me lost thought highs, I ain't taking no drugs but I gotta
get you back cause I'm missin' you.

/

Situations and complications are that easy to surpass if you and your
companion have a strong a mindset to recite over and over like they
were lines at a play,
bed you lay , you can't see another on nights that you sleep alone,
ain't a happy home,
stepped in terrordomes,
this is negativity but it has grown,
can't but help to feel a hate,
in knowing that this ain't the place,
the time even nor the space,
should have apologized to your face.

But I can see you fallin' , fallin',
In Love.
Nobody else above you , above,
except the one thats above.
But I could hear your voice and its killing me,
from inside.
I won't run from your lovin' , your lovin',
I can't hide.
But I can see you fallin' , fallin',
In Love.
Nobody else above you , above,
except the one thats above.
But I could hear your voice and its killing me,
from inside.
I won't run from your lovin' , your lovin',
I can't hide.
Can't hide.

I am always the second choice.
I am never the one someone falls in love or infatuated with first glance;
I am never the one someone decides to choose when faced with a decision of picking
And I’ve never won a race in my life.

I’m fairly used to this but it doesn’t make it any less painful or disheartening.
To see what could’ve been, turned and changed and placed in another girls hands.
My self confidence gets knocked down like lives in every level of this game,
Whilst somebody boosts theirs with what I lost.

I am, perhaps, too naive and blind to realise that it was all in my head
Despite others seeing what I too saw.
Or perhaps I’m far too boring and uninteresting to keep someone.
Maybe I am better off using my body for temporary people rather than trying to seek someone long term.
Maybe I am not made to be loved in that way,
Maybe I am not made to have people stay with me too long
And maybe I am just a form of use to someone in pleasure than for them to treasure.

Is there ever a greater melancholy
than permanent second?
Second best,
Second choice,
Second family.
All these things I am,
A second-hand human being.

No matter how hard and harder I try,
I remain inferior till I die.
A second-hand human being,
Not worth the greatest form of praising.

So as I stand above this bridge,
I recall all my 'almosts',
All my 'what ifs' and 'could haves',
To decide once and for all:
What if I jump a second time?