i’ve learned what it’s like to run my life.
eat fruit, exercise, pick-up the keys, do homework.
eat ice-cream, text all day, sleep as late as i want.
and now that life is no longer mine
-i’ll vanish the dark crescent moons under my eyes,
and lay in bed wondering once more.
i suppose, it is good for me
-i’ll look brighter, happier,
and my work will be done.
i’ve missed you so much
-the solidarity, the love,
the utter love.
and yet, in your absence i did something,
something precious and pure and perfect,
that you’ll never understand.
those late nights, tapping messages and sending them,
away to her lips,
and now she’s mine.
when you come back,
how will i hide this?
i can hide this.
more focus,
less time.
and yet.
you, and i we can’t be the same,
we can’t make these plans,
come to each other flushed and hungry.
and oh, i know, i know,
we’ll be busy.
but you, you’ll still cut a piece of my heart out.
