All my #2 pencils are chewed and the erasers are gone.
Half the pages of my books have been folded.

Sections are highlighted and notes are scribbled  
all over the place!  shaking head

The page margins are jammed with doodles,  
of flowers, cats, stars, hearts and names.

flipping pages to early in the year

September doodles are all John, john, JOHN.

Who’s John? thinking back
Oh, yeah. smiling  OH YEAH.

It’s good to review the book before midterms.

You know, I used to be happy all of the time.
What the heck happened? I used to go weeks
without crying, I used to love going to school.

In fairness, I liked real school - not the sad,
sterile, anti-social, virtual experience.

When I'm mad I get silly, then mean. I don't
always know why - angry is the answer, but
I don’t always get the subconscious analysis
behind it. That's a bad day - I'm truly sorry.

If I could step back, in those moments,
and think - clearly - I'm about the luckiest person.

I'm a hundred pounds of privilege
- if we rounding up - but pressurized,
stressed like a movie submarine in deep dive.

I think I miss people - like in an assembly
- before it starts - where a hundred conversations
clash like the random patter of rain. That’s one
of the sounds of joy.

The civilized brain is soaked in the opinions,
and shared experiences with others. These virtual,
interactive shadows on flat screens can't fill the void.

endless
paper and pencil, scuffed marks on a stone tablet
directionless
sterile white light, my impure detritus
minutes pass, half an hour, intervals slip in a hurried
slump
masochistic time wasting, anticipated dread
ominous
i sink into nothingness
throttled by expectation
an ignorant bliss in the moments i spend unspent

Some old movie plots
can't happen now, with changes
in technology...

You know, in a movie
when someone texts everyone
at school by mistake?

Who has EVERYONE
at school on their contacts list?
No way that happens.

Parent-less parties
where scores show up - with modern
surveillance systems?

or ditching class, heck
my parents are texted my
quiz scores real-time.

"why'd you get an 88
on that Calculus test, I
thought you studied?" Argh!

Oh what I would pay
For a flashback video of every happy day
Before it all went away

मैं बैठा था यूँ ही
मग्न अपनी सोंच मैं।
मुझें याद हैं कुछ लिख रहे थे
अध्यापक ब्लैकबोर्ड पे।

खिड़की से निकलकर एक धूप की किरण ने मेरे गालों को छुआ
मैं एसे ही अपने किताब में कुछ लिख रहा था
पता नहीं मुझे क्या हुआ
मुझें अपना बचपन दिख रहा था।

बाहर दो कबूतर लड़ रहे थे
वह दिन मुझे अब भी क्यूँ याद हैं?
बच्चे हँस रहे थे, झगड़ रहे थे।
खैर अब वह दिन बीत चुका
मेरी समय से बस यही फरियाद हैं।

मेरा दोस्त मुझसे कुछ कह रहा था
मैं यह कविता लिख रहा था
और मन ही मन मुस्कुरा रहा था।

its getting bad again
I don't know what time it is
I don't know what day it is
I don't know anything beyond these covers
and the
Undone assignments
Unread texts
Unused lifelines

keep piling up

There's a boy at school, he's so quiet.
But sometimes he'll speak-up and say something that's so funny

A couple of times I've tried to talk to him, after class,
to tell him how funny I think he is, but he practically vanishes.
Kim & Bili (My two BFF) think he's super shy. I find funny very attractive.

Now, even in our dull virtual class he can say something that fractures - even the teachers think he's funny - they never get mad.

When this lock-down is over I'm going to lasso him and tell him.
We might have to work like a posse, corral him from three sides like a skittish colt.

I'm not going to tell him I find him attractive - duh.

But I will tell him that if someday he's a famous comic,
like Seinfeld or Chappelle, I won't be surprised.

There aren't enough compliments in the world - I love
those delightful moments, when I can surprise someone
with the miniature perfection of a compliment.

Does he see the enchanting power of his humor?
Maybe he won't care shrug but I'll wake up that
morning to the thrill of the chase and just doing
it will make my day.

Boy so young,
Had his life in his hands
With the plans of playing soccer in college
Just one accident took that all away
His friends stayed by his bedside
Getting ready to say their final goodbyes.

They stay,
So he won’t be lonely
They sit and start desperately praying
That he will pull through
And this life won’t end so shortly.

They’re men.
“Tough guys.”
So they refuse to show their tears
Behind their shocked.
Broken. Hearts.
Their minds are left
Racing with thoughts,

Boy so young,
Had his whole life in his hands
With plans for his future,
Just one accident took that all away.
Life is truly only a temporary state.

All we can do now is pray.

Hiding behind a mask. A shadow to others, unnoticed by all. Some say that beauty lies beneath. Not in today's world. Judgmental eyes follow you like heat-seeking missiles. Their glare can burn you from the inside. As what seems like a million beady eyes staring, you are bound to make a mistake. As you wander aimlessly, hoping for this day to end, the world seems to turn slower, and slower. You feel as if time is against you, that it finds joy in your sorrow. One slip and you are called clumsy. One tear and you are called a crybaby. One wrong answer and you are called stupid. One word and you can be forever laughed at. So if you hold your tongue, remain quiet, never show emotion, and hide in the shadows, you can protect yourself.