You look at me and see someone, who is just a bit nervous
Inside though I have organs attempting to commit suicide,
From this tormenting struggle of anxiety
I have legs aching to carry me away from the perceived threat
Of talking, or attempting to act normal
I have a heart that beats too fast, hands that shake too much, a mouth too dry
So when someone says hi
I am left staring, trying to conjure the confidence to reply
But all that occurs is the piercing silence, that shatters through my overactive brain

Face down on the hard concrete, a puddle of blood carries my reflection, as usual. Can't see anything, eyes blinded by tears. Have to get back up, have to finish what id started. My arms disobey my commands to pick myself back up, sore and disabled. **** my head back, kneeling before my superiors. Blinking to clear the tears. Starting to see a figure towering over me. Laying flat on my back, my head pounding. Getting lifted against a wall. Sadness overtakes me. No. Not sadness. Anger. No. Rage. Hate. Insanity. Ripping his skin. He doesn't need all of it. Just a little bit. Screaming. Horrible screaming. Cries for help. Laughing. Break. Crackle. Bone and cartilage grinding. Snapping in between my fingers. He doesn't deserve both of his ears. Black. Silence. Satisfaction. Regret. I'm a monster. Yeah, I am. And I love it.

My confession
I'm a wretch
A miserable
Broken soul
Stained black in sin
I am shattered

But I am reborn
Scarred, yes
But reborn
Cleansed in fire
Washed
Clean
Pure crimson

I will dive
Deeper
Swallowed whole by the sea
The purifying surf
I will never surface
Yet I will never drown

I The Wicked Son
Drenched in Saving Scarlet

It was that night,
...and you were there with me..
You were never quite transparent,
but you were clear with me..
and every word you'd shout out loud..
whispered too..and air'd to me..
inside my inner me it entered me..
Like painful spears that teared through every barrier i had prepared..
End scene...
..It's bleak now, sudden how it ended.
But subtle how its deep now,
how those words sank in...
Sticks and stones will perish surely.
But your words
...... I keep now.

It didn't happen in slow motion
Nor did it go by in a blur
I heard you before I saw you
Laying cracked upon the floor

Pieces of you were missing
And some of you, scarred
Battle wounds of an eternal doom,
I couldn't spare you from

I pieced you back together,
And now you're almost whole
Forever my Frankenstein
I sip from you once more

How do you feel?
Now that you've taken
The most of all I've ever had?
How do you think?
Now that you've filled
My every waking thought?
How do you see?
Now that you've stopped
My eyes from seeing
Anyone better than you?
How do you touch?
Now that my hands
Will forever long to hold yours?
How do you taste?
Now that I'll never want
To taste anyone's kiss but yours?
How do you hear?
Now that you've stopped
Me from ever wanting
To hear anyone's laughter but yours?
How do you smell?
Now that I'll never be able
To smell your cologne
Without wishing to be
Wrapped in your arms?
How do you sleep?
Now that my every
Dream is of you?
How to you live?
Now that I'll never be able
To live without you again?