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Audrey May 2014
Breathe in-2-3, out-2-3
Your eyes snap open
Sweat beads your forehead
You feel the cold circle
Of a gun against your temple.

Breathe in-2-3, out-2-3
Your eyes squeeze close
Your finger tightens on the trigger
Will you be strong enough?
But then you stop.

Breathe in-2-3, out-2-3
Your eyes open in wonder
Your shoulders slump
The gun lays forgotton on the table
A warm hand covers yours.

Breathe in-2-3, out-2-3
Your eyes close slowly
Your lips touch
Warmth surrounds you
The world is comforting again.
I tried to tell you that I was lost,
trapped in these drowning waves,
that dragged at my self esteem,
and brought down my courage-
sinking to the bottom
like a cast off piece of garbage
that no one remembered to pick up;
but the ocean captured my words,
bouncing them in refrain across the sparkling surface
that I  thought I might never see again.
I tried to reach above the water,
begging,
searching for a kind soul to aid me,
to save me from this dark despair
that threatened to claim me,
and keep me chained at the bottom of my soul.
But no hands came to pull me out,
to rescue me,
to put a warm blanket around me,
to give me hope when I had none.
I tried to shout,
to draw attention to my pain,
pleading with the eternal silence in the oceans
for my savior to find me;
but no one heard,
and my lonely gasps
against the despair filling my lungs
stopped.
Though I might drown in waters I poured myself,
I reject your help,
come too late-
I have waited too long to need you anymore;
I can swim;
I am strong.
You offer your hands to bear the easiest burdens now,
assured of your generous nature,
your seeming friendship;
But your hands are of no use to me,
for I became strong enough with out them-
to pull my own weight,
to staunch my own bleeding wounds;
to create a world where I didn't need to rely
on such frail limbs to catch me when I fell,
on such worthless promises of relief.
You think me cold,
but these waters are too,
still swirling around my ankles;
encroaching yet again.
Burning on my lips,
the thing I have pondered,
the one question I will never ask-
Where were you, friend,
when I needed you most?
SM Mar 2014
Close to the edge
enough to feel the wind coaxing me closer
to lose such delicate balance

Today is not the day
for falling forward
into oblivion
losing sight of body
and living through soul alone

Today
I will fall back on doubt
however
in life
there is no charity
and fate grants no wishes

Tomorrow
I may not be as lucky
Emily Pidduck Apr 2014
You're a beauty.
Haven't I told you this?
                   Darling why can't you hear me?

Hush, no don't think of it - let me
take that back. I know why.
Because for all my screaming
their whispers are louder

              Please,
Please don't forget
this broken, unsure shadow you're becoming
isn't you
Not all of you.
Even as you crumble I can spot your light
your sweet, gentle soul
that curses and demeans to protect yourself
but you never mean it
and so I can't keep my eyes off of you

but my heart is speaking
telling me:

demons destroy
but make a beautiful mess
I begin to see more
but I start to know less

I see how the scars lie deep in your wrists
but I come up with nothing
there's no way to fix you
because you aren't defeated
Sweetheart, you're lost
Can't you find me?


Find me Treasure, I'm calling!


                                                      ­        she made more scars
                                                           fell too hard
                                                         and no one heard from her again



It's killing me, Love
My voice never wavered - steady all through.
just once
just once
you should have listened to me
and believed in you




                                  *
*i once felt ruined and ripped apart
                                            i just smile now
                                      remembering that I can sew
demons destroy - know less is by Chantelle, she made more scars - her again is by NothingButMe, It's killing me - believed in you is by Matill, i once felt - i can sew is by MissMorbid. I simply saw all of these and I thought they made a perfect story together because I had read them all around the same time, and this is written from a while back.
Sara B Mar 2014
Us
how did those days turn into these?
How did our emotions morph into those burst fire hydrants, from
old summer days
how did our tears become frequent sprays of salt water
how come the sun went away, locked itself deep inside of us
afraid of the dark.
our rainbows turned monochrome when we
discovered no gold at the end. We found instead a mirror of ourselves
and we hated what we saw
so we took a rock and tossed it at the reflection, lost.
All we had left was a shattered image. All we had left was a landscape destroyed. We
defaced our skies by painting them black, tore out the daffodils of spring and
crushed them beneath our fingers, and then we cried because there was nothing
left for us. We learned to live without love.
Set fire to our souls just to feel the burn so we wouldn’t have to feel anything but the
pain. We let loose our inhibitions,
destroyed ourselves with alcohol and cigarettes,
and faceless, nameless, lips.
And when we cried for help our voices were drowned
out by the sound of our dysfunctional beating hearts! our screams weren’t recognised
as signs of distress, they were routine parties, and thumping
bass. Dark lit rooms with sporadic flashes of blue light. But
somewhere inside the chaos of ourselves, we froze
and did the one thing we swore never to do. we looked back and
broke down when we saw what we
had become.
        Instead of screaming we stood silent. Instead of crying we
smiled at the sadness and nodded.
    Accepted that it was time to
change.
Laid down in our beds at night, and whispered, ‘It’s not okay.’
Slowly coaxed out the long forgotten
sun and became night lights in
   the confines of ourselves.
Ready for love.
Ready for us.
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