Trigger warning: Self harm, cutting


Lately, restraint has been my enemy
Too controlled
Too obsessive
Too withdrawn

But tonight
It saved me

In my head for dayyyssss
Endless barrage of temptation

...the scar has nearly faded...                          ...what if you just.....

...what would it look like...              

do you remember the feeling?

do you remember the rush?

don't you deserve that?

relief?

I was looking forward to it
But I knew I shouldn't
I reached out
Sought help
Exercised
Restraint

And you know what?
It felt pretty good.

And in the smallest matter of time,
My hair went numb.
My eyes no longer heard the crude respiratory patterns of the fellow cynic.
My fingers saw the over-appreciated path away from the now.
The mind I'd so delicately restrained surcharged your hurtful chatter for the worthlessness it possessed.
For I had found not what I thought to be the whole of myself,
But what actually was.
Among the wilted carnations,
The shrunken produce,
The wasted inquisition,
All the places in which you dwell,
I will no longer.