i the wild seed blew in my youth
floating on the comfort of any wind
that would carry me high for a broader view
and a little closer to answers of truth.

no direction is sometimes a beautiful thing
responsible for what only concerns you
not landing long enough in soft sweet earth
to put down roots that always longed to grow.

i had dreams of a constant love to put seed into
but the high winds blowing outside roared like the sea
enticing me to be carried on the easy breeze
but the easy way is often a cold hard rain.

the wild seed was called by the high winds
blowing inside warming me with wanderlust
caught between two lovers was never a hard choice
because the high wind was my first love.

i blew thousands of miles and light years away
landed in the soft sweet earth of a girl
a childhood sweetheart often remembered
partly the reason I blew in that direction.

the seed lingered too long in one place
the roots got a foothold in the soft sweet earth
the high winds tried to pull up the roots
causing pain in me and the soft sweet earth.

the germination of the seed caused more pain
seed to maturity isn't the easy way
each stage causing new dimensions of pain
though pain can also be the sweetness of love.

through decades and millions of light years
I have grown in that soft sweet earth
two more seeds and deeper love stemmed from it
as I ignored the tempting lure of the high winds.

but I still listen as the high winds call
sharing this pain with the ones I love
waiting to one day fly high as I once did
though it could never be the same as before.

she too was a wild seed flirting with higher winds
now waiting with me to one day fly again
as we watch our children sail in their high winds
both of us feeling the roots being pulled
and the winds starting to lift us to blow concordantly 
in a higher wind than either of us have ever known.

Darkness blankets
the sky,
and the
w  i  n  d
gains a
voice
by r u s h i n g
through the leaves.
Droplets
of stardust
f
a
l
l
onto my head.

This
untamed wilderness
is ironically calming;
it's like looking into a
mirror.

It´s alright to cry when you are haunted
Of days that you have yet to live
In a room feeling restless and unwanted
Not knowing how much more you can give

It´s alright to cry when you are heartbroken
I can barely keep my thoughts at bay
Can you please stop asking me how I´m coping?
So I can keep my smile in place throughout the day

It´s alright to cry when you are lonely
You pretend to love the faces in the crowd
You should walk over and say «please get to know me»
But for that kind of weakness you're too proud

It´s alright to cry when life fills you with sadness
And no one has the answers you want to hear
But there is a method to the madness
Just don´t give in to your fear

It´s alright to cry when you are haunted
By love and hate and life and loss
In the end you don´t remember where the road led
But the truth is, no one really does

3/5. November 2017

lukewarm night
with your charcoal hue
pervaded by unnatural light
my eyes quake
tired but restless
forced to stay open
a heart wide awake
these mud brown pupils
swimming in irritated red
crickets ringing
mocking
can't fall asleep
can't fall apart
can't fall again
thump thump thump
sweat sweat sweat
please let me rest
legs stick together
moist and warm
uncomfortable
neck won't stop itching
scratch scratch scratch
red irritated skin
matching set with eyeballs
humid air feels yucky in my throat
discomfort and displeasure
tummy rumbles
not sure if empty or full
brain can't stop thinking
not sure if empty or full
eyelids slip
eyeballs quake
rinse and repeat
teeth feel coated in soda
worst kind of coat
wanna brush teeth
don't wanna get up
just wanna sleep
toss and turn
face in pillow no good
sleeping face up feels weird
back pain in the morning anyway
but please let me sleep now
tired eyes of mine
anxious heart of mine
uncomfortable body of mine
please let me sleep