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Jack Torrance Feb 2020
I close the door,
but it swings right back.
The latch has been broken,
and shot full of cracks.

I try to fix it,
try to take it all back,
but then it opens on darkness,
and I’m consumed by the black.

I want to step through,
to see if it’s still the same,
because it beckons to me,
softly calling my name.

That’s when I slam it,
and try to hold the **** still,
as something tries to turn it,
and break through my will.

That’s when my fingers,
grow sweaty and numb,
and I can feel the pressure increasing,
and I start to succumb.

The **** starts to turn,
and I start to lose my grip,
and then I stop fighting,
and my fingers slip.

I step away,
as the latch softly clicks,
and the dark whisps escape,
growing feelers to lick.

Then I am lost,
and stepping through the door,
hoping that it won’t shut,
but not caring anymore.

I’m bathing in nothing,
and I feel the memories cut,
as somewhere off in the distance,
I hear a door slam shut.
Nina Feb 2020
To my family
i'm sorry for being distant
it's not that i don't love you
i do love you
but it's better off for me to be alone
for us not to have a close bond
so that when i die
you won't be filled with remorse
so that you won't be disappointed in me
for leaving you
for killing myself
so let me leave you
so i can leave myself
Jessica Schwartz Jan 2020
Happiness is usually a lot of work for me.
The moments when it comes easily are worth everything.
Such an intoxicating state of mind.
A drug I will chase for the rest of my life.
Jessica Schwartz Jan 2020
So how do I
Again feel beautiful
After hurting others
And neglecting myself
And how do I
Again feel youthful
Adding each scar
Like missed opportunities
Ive never really
Felt beautiful
Or youthful
And yet I notice their loss

I only see what I've had
But never what I've got
Alvin Montagnani Jan 2020
Way too often I find the child within this overgrown shell. He hides in the crack in the slab.

                      Longingly he stares back at me with those deep blue eyes and smiles at me  -  as if he knows who I am inside.

                                     Who I really am.
                                             Who we really are.


                                                       I

                   l
                      e
                          t

                                                                                          t
                                                                                     h
                                                                                e

                                   r
                                        a
                               i
                                    n

                                                                                 s
                                                                                     o
                                                                                         a
                                                                                   k
                                          

             m
                    y

                                                      c
                                                   l
                                                      o
                                                          t
                                                       h
                                                    e
                                                       s


              It burns in my eyes.

He just stands there, looking at me. Then he reaches out his hand toward me.

                                         I awake alone.

- Shepherd, 1-12-20
Visit my poetry account on Instagram @clockwork_poetry
stargazer Jan 2020
when i left my mark
i didn't think
it would be a scar

i dreamed of it being a handprint
on your heart
but i see now, that i've only cut it open

and sorry is not the bandage that i once believed it could be
time no longer the cure i had labeled it

i see now why the doctor prescribed those
shifting glances
and one word responses

because i am just a relapse waiting to happen
i know sorry doesn't cut it. but... sometimes it seems like that's all i am.

sorry </3
Sujan Jan 2020
Heart seems forlorn,
In a tangled mess,
made it worn,
Nor a guilt less,

Seems, all it takes,
A wish for acceptance,
Motive to take a break,
And let loose all menace.

Phew,
All i have is peace,
Nil lingering remorse,
But occasional tremors,
Michael Marro Dec 2019
These dark days of emptiness frighten me
Your absence, this distance, stretches my once iron-clad sanity
     into the the thinnest metallic thread, causing it to burn and
     slice through my reality.
It is at times like these reminiscences of you are welcome wraiths,
     haunting me from shadows cast by your light.
They are conjured during moments of my deepest desperation.
All that is left to me is to embrace the bittersweet torture they bring.
I beg you, My Love!
Turn your glowing gaze directly on me and banish these shades
     before they are my ruin.
When her light was lost.
Jack Torrance Dec 2019
I didn’t think of you today.
That’s a lie that I often tell myself, naively thinking that I can fool myself.

I only thought of you a little today.
A pill of non-truth that is only slightly easier to swallow because it’s grounded in deception and not outright lies.

I can’t stop thinking about you today.
The absolute truth.  Whoever said the truth shall set you free was obviously not talking about the lies we tell ourselves, because this truth captures me and torments me to no end.

You destroyed every part of me, and still I light up at your text.  Still I wonder, and wonder, and wonder.  Creating scenarios inside my head that can never be reality.  Creating scenarios where I’m not broken, and you’re happy, and the world didn’t burn.

I didn’t think of you today.  

Not yet.
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