I should have fought like hell
I should have taken your face in my hands and kissed you all over
I should have woken up
This whole thing is a mess
I was supposed to be the eye of the hurricane, not the impetus
I should have promised
Should have sewn the soles of my shoes into the earth and locked myself down
I should have fought-
But I didn't
Hey future me, that feels exactly the same way because time didn't let this fade or make it any easier, I know you like to think if you had tried harder you would have made it. But you were sick, stuck running in and out of hospital rooms and it was a dream that got you through that. It's gone now, I know. That hurts. Find another dream. Love it like a child, love how impossible it is. And fight for it. But also remember the thing you used to say to everybody and choose your battles. Lose a couple. It's okay. I promise.
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