when seasons come and go one always comes prepared
But does anybody tell you, are they ever aware?
That said seasons sometimes bring only rain
That some seasons somethings leave one drained

When your beliefs fail you, and you 2nd guess if heaven is real
That mistakes turn sour and you can't seam to heal
Certain that its better in the afterlife
But waiting impatiently cause down here doesn't suffices


That a child could bring such joy and remind us of home
That those golden clouds were where we used to play
Before we had to atone, sin and and eyes covered in foam
So happily depressed you don't even move out the way
When the wheels of life drive right towards you


Apologies if it seems I left you high and dry
But my own sins made me pay in extreme ways
Misunderstandings and be comings
One wonders if I ran from circumstance

Tuck your brothers in at night child, stay with hope of heaven
And continue in believing and serving
You are a child I met in the summer sun, inspiring and driving
Me to see God and plead for forgiveness and a daughter of that liking
But is it them or myself I'm spiting? By biting(my tongue), fighting (my morals) and Inviting (my demons).

Forgive your mistakes, they know not what they've done to you
Go on to be wonderful, and Know that Jesus Loves you

6-12-25

I look for you in the scroll of my story viewers
I look for you at the Mediterranean spot we once went to
I look for you at our local movie theater
I look for you when I find myself in the city
I look for you when an opportunity comes my way
I look for you when I hear your name out loud
I look for you when I smell coffee
I look for you in August when we first met

I look for you
I look for you

But do you do the same for me?

To wake,
to ponder,
to fall asleep
to the tidal rhythm of ones thoughts;
at sea in ones own mind.
There is no cessation,
no reprieve,
one only endures
as though bracing for a storm.

Even this cup that I drink from,
holds too many memories.
It all comes back,
I am there again,
adrift in the past.

Water flowing gently
from a small stream uphill,
living from moment to moment,
so, too, seems the passage of time.
But listen to an old song,
read a forgotten book,
trace over an old wound,
see how the years tug at the corners
of a face you had once loved,
then time seems as a torrent,
like cascading white waters
rushing toward nothing in particular,
relentless in its passing;
we are here for only a moment.
Where are they now?
I wonder.

The stream flows gently.
I walk quietly uphill
towards the setting sun.

Rarely would I believe in stars connecting souls
Or that we could come together sure enough if we would align goals
That a red thread brings strangers together
And that your course of life cannot chance no matter what, or whether
You think you're alone


That you stare at the same night sky, somewhere out there
That love sees us through, even if we don't know where
Or who the other is
That this is what love is
It's precipice


That you count on a map from province to province
Will the hobby bring either prominence?
That even underneath the same night sky
We could think, wonder cry
If souls find love even when their bodies die

That skies open, that rain falls down on the same earth
That since birth, it was predestined souls will meet


That the theory states, that somewhere out there, if it was love, then said souls will come to meet for the first time, or even once more
Regardless of goals, of cares or hate


Cause somewhere out there, a beautiful soul owns your name, your likeness, and it wouldn't be the same
If I never knew, you were somewhere out there

Small hairs sprinkle his hand
His touch is wet and uncomfortable
He smells of musk and ash
He's nervous

I try to contain myself from leaving
My minds fall back to you
It's like I'm sick
I gag on his smell

It's not one I know
Not one I want to taste

I hate you
Yet I come back
To your memory
Your sound

Is reminisced in my ears
You thwack and bang
Against my heart
Begging to be let out

I throw up on my words
They're like metal
Swishing and swallowing
My desire to let go

I end my meeting.
Leaving to my unwashed sheets
They outline the disgusting yearning
Of my body

A flash of light illuminates my face
Your picture
Your long hair.. and hairless arms..
I turn it off.

I have a date tomorrow.