Things were fine just the way they were,
holding hands and locking lips.
Laughing and crying,
feeling every single emotion a human could.

Here in these hands,
lies every stanza, of my life.

His lips tasted of sour wine
a wine that takes the pain away.
A wine that I would drown myself in forever.

will I ever be remembered
for more than my mistakes
when the choices that I've made
made more than one heart ache

will I ever be remembered
for more than my mistakes
when I ran out that liquor store
with whatever I could take

will I ever be remembered
for more than my mistakes
when I took the whole tab instead of half
and got lost among the shapes

will I ever be remembered
for more than my mistakes
because I whisper my accomplishments
and wonder what it takes

will I ever remember myself
for more than my mistakes

Here I am
It's just me
No more hiding behind 'what ifs' and the people that always leave
I have lost so much with you-
     time, hope, trust, dignity
And I don't know if I'll ever be able to get it back
     the late nights we've had
     the laughs
     the love
     the lies
I keep reminding myself that everything happens for a reason
And that I'm supposed to be learning something
But all I'm seeing is how wrong I can be
     how easily I believe lies because I like the way they sound
     how easily I lose myself in someone else
     how scared I am of losing you again (and losing myself in the   process)
I gave you so much of me that I'm not sure what'll be left when you leave

A moment

That's all it takes

A single moment

The touch of a loved one
The laugh of a stranger
The shy smile from the little boy
hiding behind his mother's leg

There and then not

Did you savour it
Lean into it
Let it sink deep

Or did it pass you
Did you let it slip away
Unaware of its purpose

One moment



That's all it takes

It’s okay, I’ve closed the door
It’s okay, we don’t talk anymore
It’s fine, I’ve already walked down the line
It’s fine, the days grow warmer in my mind
I’m stronger living through it rather than wishing for it
I can’t always forgive nor can I forget, I’m not some stringed up puppet, I’ve been turned into the neglected pet
So weak I crumbled at your feet and wept from your deceit
But I’ve been saved and I’ve been freed; no longer do these chains bind me
It’s life, the way of it, the shape of it, the pain, and the pleasure of it
Calling out my name doesn’t mean I’ll come back running to you all the same
The leash I used to wear so proudly for you, has finally rotten in the decaying love I have for you
I’ve just learned to let go of you in the only way I know how to
I live beautifully through
Running and jumping freeing my heart like dandinions in the wind
I’m in love with this  life that’s tragic, beautiful, and insane.
But perhaps the most amazing part is that I’ve finally found love for myself, through all my art
And I’m so happy to be living in this unexplainable and unpredictable world
I smile through my tears because I finally know I really do have friends here
And finally I truly realize that it’s me
That’s the key!
You have to love yourself before you can love and find love in this crazy world
©Jessica Stull

so you say that we are from the people
who buried their dead
with flowers.

and you say that when
the world ends, we will simply learn to fall
apart.

i wonder,
if there will still be love when we convince
ourselves
that everything is still alright.

but how can we love the children that
we lie to…
and how can we trust those who
we forsake…

when you look me in the eyes next time,
or when you look at that spot, right beside
me,

i will remember our dead,
and i will remember
how you never truly meant to leave flowers.