I hate you for leaving. I hate me for believing.

existing in this land-sphere quite touch-and-go
when you stare for something that you hope to
when something expects to be with you
until you discern that you obtained neither

things are unreachable on your own limitation
useless is your own notion
to gain nothing is the best way out that you ever made
the excitement is just filled with none nothingness but the soreness

She faced the mirror
It said “pretty”
She faced the man
He said “beauty”
I faced the mirror
It said “empty”
I faced the man
He said “sorry”

Tell me a lies
The way you bake those pies
Rough tongue that ties
Words into beautiful lies
These tangled thoughts
Kept me from telling truths

I hung up the phone

And collapsed into myself, sobbing

The sky was honey gold with rainbows

And the ocean was a lovely royal blue

You don’t think of me in THAT way

And I wish I didn’t too


I was crying cuz I felt myself physically lose something I had come to depend on

And

I was crying with my eyes shut to pretend nothing happened

And

I was crying over that rainy Sunday morning in the parking lot

When I couldn’t flip my skateboard like you

You held my shaky hands

So that when I thought I would fall you would be right there, your calm hands in mine, your breath on my forehead,

When I fell you fell with me,

Cuz when we go down,

We go down together,

But this time, I was falling FOR you,

Tripping over my laces for you,

Head spinning for you,

Breath catching for you,

With nobody there to catch me.

I pour my heart out.
You won't take a drink.

l felt like l knew you
but it was never about you
and l must have been confused
to think that l meant something to you

people change
seasons are the same
but l must have been insane
to think that this wasn't a silly game

play my heart
just as you play Fortnite
l wished to hold you one night
but you told me it just wasn't right

l loved you
something about you
that made me see only you
but now all l can say is l ******* hate you