My heart screams your name in cadence.
Amor, I drown in your absence.
You understand me in my silence--
For I do not have to elucidate my reticence.
Time heals, they said.
But time is cruel, I say.
For a soul that longs for you 'til the end.
For a fervent vow left unsaid.
When distance is beyond seas,
Beyond continents and skies, I fear;
Beyond what the eye sees.
What is left is your ghost in the abyss.
My love is yours,
But this life was not ours.
Time was in hours;
In a field of sunflowers,
I will see you in another life--
Amor, where there is forever.

I wish I could go back, just one more day,
To Dec 31st 2020, before you slipped away.
I wish I could hold you tight,
As on the next morning, you lost your light.

I wish I could hear your scold, one more day,
'Cause now our home's almost silent all day.
I know you are watching us from heaven,
Everyone forgot, but I still remember you  24/7.

I wish I could apologize for that fight,
Which you & I had for TV, that last night.
Now, I hold regret in every breath I take,
Wishing for one moment I can't remake.

Today, I Saw a Woman

Today, I saw a woman I’d never be,
Carrying a seed not meant for her.
A woman who let him back inside,
Though once he broke her, crushed her pride.

I saw her weary, heavy with weight,
Her dreams postponed, left up to fate.
Her beauty dimmed, her spirit worn,
A love returned, but not reborn.

She bore the scars, the silent cries,
The lessons learned through tear-stained eyes.
She watched him change, but far too late,
Only when pain had sealed her fate.

But today, I saw her for the last time...
Because tomorrow,
Tomorrow, she'll rise, she'll climb.
Tomorrow, I’ll see a woman bold,
A heart unshaken, fierce and gold.

A woman who hopes for a daughter's grace,
A love that time cannot erase.
A woman who dares, who dreams, who flies,
Who finds her home beneath wide skies.

And if love returns, it will be sure,
Not one she begs, but one that's pure.
And nothing, not sorrow, not doubt, not fear-
Will break the woman standing here.

For that woman is me.

Tears are just fragile pieces
Of dreams broken and souls as well
You can pick them up and try to glue them
But will that ever be enough?

Nobody can turn back time
Chances lost, no heaven nor hell
We all look down, grasping pieces
Some get cut, my surface rough

Inside we go like there’s no tomorrow
Apart from another, locked in a shell
And so it runs, our precious time
Shortening lifespan with every cough

They emerge like we’re attached to them
But is there a chance to always tell?
There’s time for that, yet always tomorrow
It seems like nobody gets to laugh

And in the end the pieces will bring us
Back in time, for then tomorrow
We can bring them all we have, but
At night all curtains will be shut.

Crazy to think we are here now,
Rarely acknowledging each other.
After the way we connected,
I should have known better.
Giving you my body,
Didn't make you value me.
Who would have thought
Healing from you, would make me love me.
I still don't regret you,
The time we spent was everything.
Evenings spent texting, days on the phone,
Have my thoughts running rampant.
Ever since you ended us,
All my feelings are crushed. But I'll always want to know,
Did you want to end us? Or did history make you do so?

I miss the days
When the stars would smile
And the trees talked about you.

When your voice was still music
And your hair; my night sky,
I truly cherished it.

I miss the moments
When art was you
And everything else was you.

Writing about you
And dreaming endlessly,
I exceptionally enjoyed.

But I never miss
The days that I
Regretted missing reality for you.

Took a bite out of you, and I chipped my tooth –
haven't seen the place of your heart; it feels a bit loose
Hung my fears of losing you, what words to say;
they’re stuck by my neck – you had me in a noose.

I’m just a cigarette burning at your lips when we kiss;
and I grew five months’ pregnant in my ears – when
you first said you love me; it sounded like great news…

Push my buttons – feels so long that my heart has spoken
to you; all the ocean's tears in my eyes; I hope you don’t
cry when you see me so blue?  

I’m so sorry…

it’s my own fault,
this is something I’m not so accustomed to, but I hope
you’ll always know – I still regret not telling you,
“darling I love you too”

Another sunrise and sunset,
another pair of eyes filled with regret.
Who’s waiting for hope and luck to arrive at their front door,
but even if it came who’s to say they wouldn’t still expect more?
And would we even cast any blame,
if you’re angry that tomorrow came?

Time is cruel and time is no friend;
half were in school; the rest trying to meet an end.
As a sun will set a newborn life will fade,
with moments you can’t forget
and one’s you would never trade.
It’s hard not to feel the same;
to be angry that tomorrow came.

He said take a note and give me five
“no one gets out of here alive.”
Who do you want to be for the rest of your life?
“Just a reminder, you don’t live twice.”
They tell me to grin my teeth and bear it
soft demeanor but eyes like a knife.
It’s clear they don’t want me to share it;
my collection of troubles and strife.
They’ve got closed eyes and plugged ears,
talking over each word I try to speak.
While it all feels like endless years,
in truth it’s only been one week.
And the reality of it is actually quite tame
but still you get angry that tomorrow came.

It’s a hazy afternoon with the sun in the sky
and I’m standing in the gloom of someone else’s goodbye.
And I could paint a thousand pictures
and never get the landscape quite right,
just like adjusting and fixing the fixtures
but never obtaining the perfect light.
It seems so insanely mundane,
but I’m trying to not be angry, that tomorrow came.

You can’t cleanse the bad from the good
there will always be residue permanently,
and it’s not so simple to gain some wood
you’re always going to have to cut down a tree, eventually.
Make sure the earth will burn, with an untamed flame
The world continues to turn, regretful that tomorrow came.