All of life is calling me. The land is alive with wild blooms that adorn the hedgerows. Foxgloves mingle with campion, bluebells and buttercups. The wild dance of summer lifts my spirits as my body still aches from the recent prolonged winter she has endured. The scars still tender reminding me that healing has its own season, yet the spirit feels the tug of a new dawn.

In the early morning stillness the light softly caresses the petals of a freshly born rose and my heart is filled with the promise of new beginnings. Patience has never been an easy companion and Surrender even less so. How to let go and allow this dropping, this deep sinking into softness, into the sensual realms of flesh and bone on warm, wet grass? How to rest deeply in every moment as the wheel of life turns slowly and my fear clings to hope as she gently wipes away my tears?

Somewhere in the distance, breaking the silence, a baby lamb cries and I am reminded that I am not alone.

Through twisted bars of dark wrought iron
I see the shining golden home.
There once I’d been in my personal Zion
from which I’d freely roam.

But now I note I’ve lost the key
to this imposing gate:
I stand outside, trying hard to see
what caused this change of fate.

When and why did I turn my back
on this inner keep of peace?
How to drop the sackcloth black
and find a new release?

Now I must pull me up
and scale these castle walls
that I myself had built
before I took this fall.

For my sake and for those I love
it’s time to find my way
back to where sounds of cooing doves
becalmed me, come what may.

It was all fun & games,
Until I lost my left eye.
Glaucoma prevailed.

— Sincerely, Boris

Wailing
Swirling
Churning.
From the depths
But not yet seen.

Hands heavy.
Attention.
Here and
Gone.

Pulling me down
Jesus,
Buddha,
Connection to Source.
Pulling me down
And down.

The ground,
But deeper
The bottom of the sea
But deeper
I find
My grief.

It’s source unknown,
Just there.
Always has been.
Relics of a past before mine?

No matter.
The bottom
Salvation
From suffering.
The bottom,
The pain
the pain
the pain.
The bliss of
feeling human.

I'm jumping into new with this trampoline pad
I'm hating every poem I wrote because they were too sad
I have passion flowing through all my veins
It twists around the hurts and pains
My passion is like a river, never gonna sit
With any dam in the way, it'll jump over it
I've felt like ash from a fire just extinguished
All dreams I once had had been relinquished
Then after a final heartbreak, it sparked some emotion
A spark in the ashes, a wind now in motion
And with this sole spark, I will use my one chance to fan it
After jumping into the unknown, this time I will land it
I am a phoenix rising from the ashes, no longer defied
My heart is beating once more, but it never really died
I am no longer just a bird flying above
I am an eagle, soaring from self-love
I used to lay at the bottom of the sea, feeling entirely worthless
But now I've remembered to just swim up to the surface
I feel like a rose in a bush, used to being tricked
But for once in my life, I was happy not being picked
And I know that we're no longer looking at the stars and crying
But I'm laying there by myself, eyeing Betelgeuse and Orion
If someone looks into my life, thinking they're so smart
They'll see lots of my friendships are falling apart
I've been gossiped about, lied to, insulted, from the entirety of night to day
But for once it didn't matter, and I simply walked away.

I woke up in shadows,
The bottle beside me
Chasing the ghosts of what used to be me
Thought I found love in the haze of the night
But all that it brought was the cold empty fight
I rose from the ashes
Rebuilt my own way
No longer a puppet
Im learning to play
I’m standing alone
In the light of my truth
No longer a prisoner of dark wasted youth
With every step forward I’m more than alright
The love that I lost led me back to the light
Memories haunt me like smoke in the air
The laughter the love it’s simply not there
But I found a new strength in my solitude
Embracing the calm, I’m cleansing the rude
In the silence my heart found a song
A melody whispers
“You’re where you belong”
Im standing alone
In the light of my truth
No longer a prisoner of a dark wasted youth
With every step forward I’m more than alright
The love that I lost lead me back to the light
So here’s to the journey
To healing and grace
I found my own home in this damaged space

I don’t know what to say
I’ve never felt this bad
until the moment  
I opened the door & let you in

But one things for sure
I wish I could turn back time
So it can be like how it was before…

I hear the siren calling my name
I’ve tried to ignore it’s call many times before
This voice in my head is vicious and won’t let me forget the things I try to ignore.

I have so many questions,
but im running out of time.
Let me shed some light  as I peel off my skin cause I’m growing tired of fighting a battle i know that I’ll never win


They says it’s good to be different
better than fitting in
I’m done playing pretend on a road that leads to nowhere.
My patience is wearing thin


They say all good things take time
But I’m growing inpatient and now I’ve grown a thorn in my side