love that shadow
that dances over
your lips and bedroom walls
and your fingers
tangle with smoke
and mysteries
that he carves out
with killer’s hands
****** and almosts
setting alight
the fairybooks
and writing on your pages
needle-points in irises
blind in light
and brilliant in darkness
so you see
his brilliance
and resent yours

can’t stay,
run faster
- the wolves are catching
on the souls of your feet
and the mothers are crying
for the lovers
you leave
always leave
the bedclothes *****
and the faces blurry
singing Morrissey
blame humanity
for the hatred of everything you touch
and touches you
rainwater down a window
a shadow
still warm on your tongue
sweet boy
could be young
must be so much older

insubstantial you,
runaway i
*this
is
a
story
of

I didn't notice you,
I didn't care,
I've been reckless,
So in the end I was the one hurt,
I wish I've noticed you before,
I wish I've been careful with you,
I wish is all I can say now.

Love makes us selfish
Love makes us brave
Love makes us reckless
Wild and misbehaved

Love makes us kind
Love makes us good
Love makes us see
The world as it should

Love makes us thoughtless
Love makes us blind
To anything else
But the one on our minds

Love makes us careful
Love makes us scared
About things which we wouldn't
Have previously cared

Love makes us malleable
Love makes us weak
Love makes us sacrifice
Whatever it seeks

Love makes us dangerous
Love makes us strong
Love makes us realize
What is right and wrong

Love makes us answer
The knock on the door
Love makes our lives
Worth living for

I want to feel your warmth,
I want to feel wanted for once
I want to stare in your soul and understand  the entire you as much as you want to be a part of mine.
We will be the light in each other's darkness.
I want to be the one who will say that it's okay. That you're okay.
I want to feel your breath like my whole world depends on it.
I want to write about you everytime I got the chance to.
My words will be composed of your touch. Your late night calls. Your reckless plans. You.

I want to be a part of your story, too much that it kills us both.

I need to stop collecting kisses from paper mâché hearts
I need to stop my constant fleeing before it even starts
I need to pull up my socks; I need to hide my pride
I need to find your reckless arms before I die inside

Blow out the last smoke
Your heel on the cigarette,
Crush it; take a swig
Squeezing lemons on pearly white teeth
One more for brokenness, another for the road;
Lights. Lights. Lights.
–how is a place so blindingly bright
remain so dark, so void, out of life?

We traded this life from another
And traded those from another, too.
Gypsies. Indies. Crazies. Hipsters.
All of them, labels.
We (You) are far better.

There’s something ugly in whispers.
Oh but not those from you.
Not from you.
The line between escape and reality
Is just a line, really.
Come over. Here?
Come closer. There?
Yes, please.

We are nothing but fitting hands, loose shirts,
summer evening sweats, blisters
chain smokes, vivid lights,
My eyes never leaving the sight of your smile.

Come closer. More. Nearer.
Be in my blood. Cover my skin.
Run through the inhale and exhale of my lungs.
This never ending thing going?
God****, it’s enough.

I want to go on a roadtrip. Away from things that's familiar and safe. I want to get away and break free. Maybe with someone special or maybe all on my own.  I want to raid the oldest libraries and read all the books I can to my heart's content. I want to visit museums and coffee shops and ice cream parlors and try everything they have. I want to take a walk to the oldest streets, alone or holding someone's hand, while eating ice cream. I want to explore places. I want to sleep in a tent. I want to sleep under the stars. I want to drive a motorbike. Stop a lot just to appreciate the view, take it all in the beauty before my eyes, breathe fresh air. I want to have polaroid camera and capture everything in the moment. Capture the sunrise and sunset. Capture a boy's wide smile or the old lady's toothless grin or the two lovers' embrace. I want to take pictures of myself smiling from ear to ear. I want to chase the moon and the fog. Spend hours picking strawberries, smelling flowers. I want to throw my hands in the air and dance and feel the wind in my hair. I want to buy souvenirs from each place I go as if the pictures I take are not enough, I want something that will last. I want to meet new people and make new friends. I want to make memories that will forever stay with me.

"Bored.." I told her
"just bored of this, of here. Of you"

What is it inside me that grows like a virus?
infects my weak will, and forms a thick exoskeleton
I can go out today and recover in time for tomorrow
I can take the next pill that's handed to me, and greet the trip like an old friend

How can it catch up with me
if I keep changing
the way I'm running

Oh how we pine and pine and pine over people who act as lumberjacks towards us.