i am a psychopath
i am the queen of terrifying confidence
i am a minipulator of truth
and lies
because i
am a psychopath
who has her eyes set
on the way she should be
on the reasons behind what they think about her
hurt
it swirls around inside yet i dont feel it
it scrapes away at the walls of my heart
which should be painful
why not
because i am a psychopath

I saw you; I swear I saw you.
You and your divine attitude .

I could tell you were living in a beautiful life.
You loved your wife, as a man, working hard and trying to provide.

As I was watching you running miles, I couldn’t stop imagining how I could make you shy.

Firstly, I would invite you to a room where you wouldn't see the sunlight.

Then, you would be tied.

“Oh, I see red, Are you shy?”
I smiled and said: “Sorry, my darling, I have to apologise.”

It was only your blood that covered my eyes

The tango was still going, and I started to wonder why
Why you ended up crying, shouting and dying

Was it your holy innocence?

Thinking hurts, worse than the cuts on your flesh.

Let’s just both wave and say goodbye.

“Bye, dear stranger.”
You were sleeping like an angel
“fine, I would help you.”

“Bye world, bye.”

Here it goes again,
Here it comes again,
The articles about
Psychopaths
And the accusatory tone
Twisting behaviors
Twisting actions
To sound toxic
To sound dangerous
To stamp a big red label on my skin,
Screaming
"AVOID THIS ONE AT ALL COSTS"

While I sit and weep.

But these articles
Blog posts
People fleeing from me
Left and right
Are lies, right?

Tell me, please,
Tell me,
Someone?

My anxiety and need to be reassured
Roots from my PTSD,
And my neediness and wants for attention
Is normal for my upbringing,
Right?

And writing poem after poem
About how much I care for you,
And making playlists
With songs in it
That make me think of you,
Is just a sign that I care,
Right?

I don't want to be
A psychopath.
I don't  want to be
A toxic person,
I don't understand
How telling someone you love them,
Is bad?

But these articles say that showering someone
In constant attention and praise
Means you're a psychopath.

And these blog posts
Are telling me that poems and gifts and music,
All means you're selfish and unfeeling.

But I don't want to be,
I care so much, I love you so much.

I'm afraid
Of who I am.