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California    The pain I've received, doesn't even match in comparison to the pain I've caused. I write to outlet my feelings. I can't rhyme. I'm insane.
Anonymous Psychopath
fears like monsters But i live like masters Only one side i show As i lost my mind years ago

Poems

The Unprincipled Psychopath
Highly narcissistic and delights in wrecking vengeance through humiliation
They love to exploit and abuse other people, gives them a sense of elation
And they genuinely enjoy the anguish they create
Full of green envy and spoiled hate
they are no longer useful and then demolished and discarded with no guilt
The motto, “Do unto others before they do unto you.” Is what their whole world is built

The Disingenuous Psychopath
The disingenuous psychopath enjoys popularity and a great social façade
Able to charm those around them initially but eventually people see the fraud
Long-term intimate relationships are next to impossible due to their unreliability
Seething with resentment, and a tendency to plot against others with no sense of nobility
View life as only one of us can win, and it’s going to be me, they don’t believe in teams
Rationalize all of their heinous behavior, and expect others to appreciate their cunning schemes

The Risk-Taking Psychopath
The rush they get when they take risks and fighting or dueling with a stranger
Thriving on a steady diet of dangerous & treacherous living, always like to be in danger
convinced that they are invincible, view others who will not take the same risks as weak & inept
Their lack of reliability and responsibility is central to their character & expect others to just accept
Lack any understanding or concern for how their dangerous actions affect those around them
All that matters is the thrill of the game that’s their lifes motto, where their thinking stems.

The Covetous Or Envious Psychopath
Envy and revenge are there central characteristic
They are self-indulgent and are extremely exhibitionistic
Often have little concern for the people they exploit and deceive
Immoral, cruel acts, taking what’s theirs in the first place is what they believe
May become crocked business people, to succeed they will do anything they see fit
Their true sense of pleasure comes from taking what they want rather than earning it

The Spineless Psychopath
Viewing themselves as the victims, defenceless and weak
will strike out first against others in a counter phobic effort is what they will seek
They project a false bravado and want desperately for others to see them as invincible
And their motto “not to be messed with.” A façade they believe is convincible
Drawn to militaristic groups that prey on the innocent enthusiastically
They bully and victimize to soothe their own fears of inadequacy.

The Paranoid Psychopath
Is suspicious of everything and everyone, usually there's no reason
May be potential dangerous if threat of exposure is imminent or feelings of treason
Often accuse others of wrong-doing, and will never accept responsibility
Their features frequently blend with those of the disorder paranoid personality disability
It doesn't matter whether they made the mess or not, someone else must take the blame
To underline these features is a ruthless desire to vindicate themselves is their main game

The Quiet Psychopath
Socially withdrawn, often *****, unkempt, odd thinking is observed
Occasionally insecure and irresolute, perhaps even faint hearted, cowardly & reserved
Psychopathic aggression, when present, represents a paradoxical response to felt dangers and fears
Intended to show others that their not anxious or weak, withholding & never showing any tears
These personalities will commit if not now then in future a violent act, hiding their hatefulness
Projecting hostile fantasies, they feel it is best to strike first, thereby to forestall their antagonists

The Charmer Or Soulmate Psychopath
Coming on strong, sweep us off our feet, says they have the same interests, wants to marry quickly
Appear helpful, comforting by their feigned 'idealization' of us, worming their way into your heart slickly
Is aware that you will be drawn closer by their relaxing aura and lack of inhibitions essentially
But it never lasts, their true colours show, Jekyll always turns into Hyde eventually
He will talk to a woman who is interested in poetry about poetry, doesn't care about it but will quote a poet
She will take interest in a man's work though she doesn't really care  but charm him with her interest & knows it

The Violent Psychopath
Tyrannical desires is their willingness to go out of the way to be unmerciful and inhumane
Calculating & cool, they are selective in their choice of victims, truly diabolically insane
They display a high level of abusiveness & intimidation, to show power as they attack
As identifying individuals who are likely to submit rather than to react back
These individuals derive deep satisfaction in creating suffering and in seeing its effect
Inflicting emotional, verbal & physical cruelty, they view you as a subject.

The Explosive Psychopath
They are ruled by the unpredictable and sudden emergence of hostility
These "adult tantrums," characterized by uncontrollable rage & emotional instability
Explosive behavior erupts precipitously, its intensive nature can be identified But not constrained
Thwarted or threatened, they respond in a volatile and hurtful way, making relationships strained
Abrupt change that has overtaken, saying unforgivable things & striking unforgettable blows
Outbursts to discharge pent-up feelings of humiliation, degradation, unable to self-compose

The ****** Psychopath
Display an impulsive hypersexuality and frequently expresses a polymorphic ****** range
*******, promiscuity, incestual tendencies, perversions & the forbiddingly strange
Takes a predatory approach towards their targets with a stalking behaviour they form
Their ****** aim will be to dominate, use, control & subjugate another person is how they perform
Their motto "I just take what's available." That’s their way of thinking when they torment
Targets are young & the elderly, both genders, they are often targeted for *** without consent.


The Liar Psychopath
Pathological liar, will lie for no reason at all, usually skilful but sometimes fails to remember the lie
Will agree to anything then turn around and do just the opposite, they don’t even know why
These psychopaths never lie because lying is not a relevant issue for them, completely in denial
Legal agreements and normal social protocol mean nothing to them, they would lie in a trial
What's convenient, what comes to their mind never figures out 'Is that now really true, or not'?
The idea or image of truth doesn't exist with them and can become violent if the lie is caught.
I researched a lot for this one lol
Arianna Darshani Sep 2015
Im not a good poet but I want to get this off my chest.
Maybe this is too much of a blog. If so, I am sorry.
Nobody has to read it!
I don't mean to misuse this service or to make anyone mad.
I am just not good at poetry
But I believe my words have a rhythm to them.

This is a long and boring post.
Making this post is part of my healing
Even if nobody reads it.

I met a psychopath, I don't use that term lightly
He had been in prison for ****** against his 7 year old daughter
A monster and what most people often call a baby ******.

What was wrong with me, that I did not bolt away like a wild horse?
What made me stay? Is it my Tao to be in their spell forever?
I mean the pedophiles that abused me now forty years ago?

How could I have blocked out his crime?
Where was my outrage for the victim?

He is in Seattle, I am in Minneapolis
But we played cards for 7 months
When he showed me his hand,
I suddenly realized who and what he was.
And I was struck with a sense of horror.

Psychopaths are always charming, at first.
They fool a lot of people. He fooled me.
And I can't get over it.

I broke free, galloped away, but had irreversible damage.
I could not eat or sleep. I was on edge.
I felt polluted, I felt ashamed, I felt gullible
It is why I have the diagnosis of PTSD
because my entire childhood was filled
To the rafters with abuse and this psychopath
Touched upon that in a major way.
They call it a "Trigger" in psychology.

I thought I had burned that house down
But my naïveté and poor boundaries led me
From the paradise of my home
To this psychopath's perverse thinking.
What a sick *******.
I can't even describe
how perverse it got towards the end
So I won't even bother.
Why dwell on a psychopaths sick mind?

I was very sick and in a crisis for ten days
When I broke it off with him.

My last email to him was that,
God is real and that he is going to Hell.
He excuses his behavior with
Bible verses.
That's not going to help him
On judgement day.
He also will suffer karma until
He learns his lesson.
Prison was not enough to teach him

Im starting to sit back and take in the lesson
I've decided that for my own safety
I need to get a lot more paranoid because
Baby rapists and evil people do exist
And I have no radar and no set of boundaries.
Because I was abused so much as a child.

I downloaded an App that lists all
The ****** predators near your home
There are a lot of them and some look like
Your average guy, like the pedophiles who abused me.
Nobody next store but in Osceola, 5 minutes away.

And what about Jared Fogel? Is everyone a pervert?
Why do adult ( mostly men ) need to sexualize children?

I am restricting my easy going temperament
He took what was left of my innocence.
My heart is healing and I have vowed
Not to let him or his sickness
To ruin my good temperament.
Nor my Peace of Mind.

Lastly, I realize that it was by the Grace of God
That I found a loving husband
A man who truly cares, truly loves
In a way I never felt as a child.

As an abuse survivor, the statistics
For me to find a suitable relationship
were slim.
But my mother always told me
To respect myself.

But here we are, 31 years together
Or what my science mind calls
60% of our lives. We are 53.

I don't know how I found "the one"
A broken heart is so visceral and
With so much angst that I feel fortunate
That I've been spared that experience.

We met in Martial Arts class
I had met him at age 19 and he asked me out
I took him up on that offer when we were 22
I worked for my black belt in Tae Kwon Do
He was working on his 2nd degree blackbelt
We trained together for many hours
We hung out.
Ha ha, our first date was to see
The Karate Kid! Also plenty of Bruce Lee!
My husband began martial arts because
Of Bruce Lee.
I started martial arts for self defense
Having been abused by so many men
Made me want to never happen again.

Nice trip down memory lane
Back to the psychopath.
I don't have children and
I am not around any children.

I went to the State Fair, and saw some girls
Only 7 years old, like the psychopath's daughter
When he started his predation on her.  
I felt physically ill that a child of that age
Would have to deal with a grown man
And her father, on too of that.
It is beyond imagination.
I was abused at age 11 and 7 seems
Awfully young. Poor girl.

I felt a sense of nausea when looking at these little girls
That I had befriended a ****** perpetrator
Entirely negating his victims experience.
What was I thinking?

I feel almost like I am guilty because I associated with him.
I feel horrible that I had any relationship
With such a dark and bleak soul.

God bless his daughter out there somewhere
She is now in her 20s
His children are in their 20s and I think
When he has grandchildren he might re offend
I need to stop this and have decided
To contact CPS, and write a letter of concern
Every six months until he has grandchildren

It's the very least I can do.
I've taken a personal interest and
I vow to protect his future grandchildren
From ******, a crime he is not sorry about
He has no remorse, he does not repent
And in that way he can reoffend

Let me go back to my life now
It is almost Fall
And the trees will be brilliant
Thank God, that I realize
I need to out much tighter boundaries
Around myself because being gullible
Is going to get me killed

Thankfully I am not being stalked
Thankfully my life is not in danger
Thankfully we live half a continent away

Let me hold my husband's hand
Let me remember what's important
Let me remember that Im safe
Let me recover from the emotions
Of horror and dread, that have kept me
From eating and sleeping.

Im a bit of a yogini
And I do yoga Nidra
I do meditation
I take refuge in Buddha
I have a faith in Christ
These things all help.

Let the heavens forgive me
For ever getting involved
With a psychopath and for not
Giving his daughter's abuse
A second thought.

This has altered my personality
I am now an activist for victims
Of childhood violence.

I will hear their voices in a way
That is healthy and safe.

Safe. A good place to be!

If you've made it to the end of
This post, I give you my sincere
Thanks and if you did not read my post
I also give you thanks.

~Arianna
Thom Jamieson Nov 2018
I read an article in the news this week,
It was about profiling corporate bigwigs
And the shocking conclusion,
That the vast majority of these pigs at the trough of good fortune
Are psychopaths, a statistically significant majority,
Like eighty percent,
This tweaked my curiosity and so I did a bit of research,
And I learned that a psychopath is someone
who experiences life differently,
they experience all of the positive emotions,
Love, happiness, comradery, all of it.
But they’re wired differently,
When it comes to the sad, bad, mad times.
They don’t feel the way most humans do,
They feel detached from these things
They tend to deal with things of this nature
From a logical and removed perspective,
And this is where the road forks.
Ethical, moral, love-based pychopaths
Release the tension, resulting from the conflict
That arises from this, (aka wow I’m a freak)
through healthy
Or at least, socially-acceptable methods
Others, unfortunately dispose of it,
through darker, more nefarious means
Today, I started to wonder if I’m a psychopath,
Not the hack them, slash them maniac you see on film
The ones that just don’t feel like other people.
I was reading a book about self-realization,
About dropping preconceived inhibitions
Quieting the mind,
And finding “the silence within the silence” as they say,
I started to consider this,
I thought back to my transformation in August of seventeen
I moved from subject to passive observer,
I substituted love for fear, in every corner of my life,
And I found the silence, perhaps just a glimpse,
But it was so beautiful, it impressed upon me
An entirely new disposition,
As a passive observer, I’ve been able
To see myself much more clearly
When you look at yourself from a standpoint,
That leads you to recognize that in fact
There is no you at all, only your perception
And in fact, even perception
Consciousness, the core of experience
Is an illusion in and of itself.
An illusion nurtured by
The confines of society
Because at the level of atoms and molecules
We really all are
Intertwined and indistinguishable
And these tiny points of perception
That we think of as us
Are actually one
As though a block of energy
Was slammed through a cheese grater
And from this perspective,
and the Fear/love paradigm,
I find myself alone,
Alone, and happy,
Possibly,
For
The first-time
Ever.
Today, I started to wonder if I’m a psychopath.
And though I’m not wishing for the way it was
I do wish
I had a friend,
a sounding-board so to speak
Who knows me as well
As the one that I have hurt, and who has hurt me
To really help me decide,
Is this an epiphany,
Or insanity
A middle-aged crazy man
Writing words no one will ever read
Either way, I suppose
You can look from one of two sides
From the loss, and the sadness
The love and respect for the past
Or from the perspective of freedom,
Growth,
And doing what you were put
In this crazy world to do
Today, I started to wonder if I’m a psychopath,
At one point this afternoon
I realized I hurt in my entirety
My body, head to toe
My heart, because I am alone
Self-chosen,
But still alone
And my soul because
I don’t feel the way other people do
I won’t hurt anyone else
At least not on purpose
But every inch of me hurts
Every,
Inch.
And yet, even the sadness I feel
In waves,
By no means all the time,
But when it hits,
It hits hard,
I realize this too is a bad habit at best,
And an illusion at worst
What growth can come,
From pining for the past
Or any attachment for that matter
Because those things
That we can’t stop ourselves from doing
That arise from mind
Such as regret, or loss
Or guilt
Are bad-habits,
illusions
That serve absolutely nothing
But to teach, and move on
To how you might
Make the reality that is now
The best it can be,
For everybody,
Even me!
Today, I started to wonder if I’m a psychopath.
#****** #psychopath #love #awakening #enlightenment #truth #perception #illusion #avidya #attachment