These solid panes shield me
From the harsh winter,
The body piercing hail,
The numbing frost,
And from my true love.
For she is out there,
Somewhere.

Do I smash through this cocoon like barrier
That forever keeps me shielded
From the disappointments,
The deceit, the humiliation ,
The heartache, the rejections
That are waiting out there.

Or Do I offer myself,
And risk being scrutinized.
My actions picked apart with a fine tooth comb.
My motives questioned.
My dignity eroded
And everything that makes me
The person I am,
Stripped away until all that is left
Is something unrecognizable.

I have to.
For my true love is out there,
And I cant wait to meet her.

We Smiled,
We Hugged.
We Kissed,
We Laughed.

I Woke,
I Realized,
I Sighed,
I Slept.

Many words left unspoken,
As i watched you sail on by.
Many deeds left undone,
And now you drift out of my reach.    
I could have called out to you.
I could have reached out my hand.
Now infected, these regrets consume and corrode me

For that
one look,
for that
one touch;

Oh well.

With every smile,
With every glance,
My hopes are raised,
My joy enhanced,
I'm on a high,
It's such a rush,
So i make my move...
My heart is crushed.

Was wishful thinking
on my part,
I lost my head
and followed my heart,
I learnt to see
what wasn't there,
Her love for me
Is now elsewhere.

Will i ever learn
Not to take the bait,
That drop dead smile
That seals my fate,
It reels me in
And i can't break free,
I'm filled with a
false sense of security.

So again i'm struck
Deep to the heart,
With the realization,
We are apart,
The love we shared
has ceased to be,
So from now on,
just good friends are we.

Holding hands,
Warm soft glow,
Fuzzy feeling,
Dont let go.

Head hunched forward,
Brain plugged in,
Cyberspace awaits.
Fingers clicking,
Eyes scanning,
Detached from reality,
My hourly fix.
Oblivious to the world,
Incommunicado
From flesh and bone.

Humid nights
Frosty days
Drunken fights
Toxic haze
Stifling air
Not fit for breathing
Two trapped souls
Intent on leaving
Long since gone
Our glory days
Now broken shells
Just Parting ways

My life it needs a makeover
It's become as dull as grey
But my lack of drive and vision
Is getting in the way

I seek out toys to fill the voids
That occupy my soul
To fill the huge expanse
To remove this gaping hole

But my lack of drive overwhelms me
And the voids they do not fill
My heart has lost its rhythm
And it's beat has slowed to still

Dark clouds they do not leave me
They smother all joy and hope
I start to wonder how it would feel
If i dangled from a rope

But that would only transfer my pain
And pass it on to others
My beautiful daughter
My grandkids
My sisters and my brothers

So i need a spark to light the dark
And guide me on my way
To give me back the life i lost
That day you went away

A shock to the system
A Loved one is lost
Sledgehammer to the heart
Lightning bolt to the brain

Entombed in a blackness
Unable to move
Suffocating in a thick tar
Flooding my lungs

Suspended in stasis
For what seems like eons
My body in a slumber
My mind round the bend


Now ready for healing
With the passage of time
For banishing the darkness
For reclaiming the light

Things seem clearer now
The dark shadows are lifting
I can see clarity, lucidity
I can see a light ahead

It's turning my stomach
It's crushing my chest
I'm struggling to breathe
It's RED