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kain Sep 2019
what is real
that's what i want to know
what exists
is anything of this real
and if not
what is
what if this is just a fantasy land
inside my own head
what if i'm in a coma
what if i'm somebody else
what if i am the only one that exists
what if i don't exist at all
what if there is some massive movie screen
that everybody can watch
from which everyone can see
the world through my eyes
what if i am dead
what if i have existed and lived a thousand times before this
what if this is some strange attempt to truly find peace
what if none of this is real
what if none of this is real
if i close my eyes
does the world cease to exist
and does anything truly exist
if it is possible for vision to fade and never return
perhaps the world is born when i am
perhaps it will die when i do
perhaps the world is just snippets thrown together
different perspectives
different timelines
there are explanations
the gods of science
but who is to say that that is real
who can determine what is real
is it me
is this all up to me
to all those reading
if there is anyone reading at all
i will never know you
i will never have a way to know
if anything
or anyone
truly exists
this life has the permanence
of dreams
flashes of images
thrown together
who is to say what is real
who is to say what is real
who is to say anything at all
my memories might as well be fake
so what do i do
do i do my best
to fit into this make believe world
do i let go of the universe
and play to my quiet niche
or do i let go of the present
let go of the past
let go of the future
and just be
who is to say what is real
who is to say what is real
does the world disappear when i close my eyes
does it all cease
to be
when i die
will the world die with me
is my body real
does it exist
and does the world around me exist
or is this all just hallucinations
is this anything at all
i have no way of knowing
i can see my fingers
i can feel my bangs
brushing against my face
i can smell the must
i can hear the gentle murmur
but what makes this real
what if this isn't real
what happens when it all goes away
what happens when everything goes away
what happens when i can no longer feel
what happens when my eyes don't see
what happens when everything fades
and even my thoughts go away
what is behind the veil
what is just out of sight
is there anything there at all
is it the void
is it just the void
the blackness behind my eyes
stretching out forever
is this the flashback
before i die
is my life running before my eyes
is everything draining from me
and is there truly mortality
do we truly exist at all
is there a we
or is it just me
alone
with my vivid hallucinations

it could go away so easily
it could be gone

i imagine those chambers
those water chambers
where everything is silent
and the water is the same temperature
as your body
and there is nothing
and you lay in the dark
is that dying
is that what truly exists
or is even that an illusion

is anything real
is anything real
There's something so lonely writing this, not truly knowing if anyone will ever truly see it. I know that I will never know the answer. I will never know if anyone exists. But that in itself is the answer, and I hate it, because I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
b Jan 2017
what is the point of breathing,
if you're going to suffocate on it anyway,
look at
those
who ponder
life and see
no meaning

i look
at them
and wonder
if its God they're
only memeing

but if they think
it's stupid to seek
in this world-
some meaning

it's even stupider
to think and wonder
why this world
has no meaning

unknown
unseen
unheard

no one saw
no one heard
no one knows

the Big Bang

none can see
none can tell
none can testify

the island with
only one man

blind
to its meaning
blind to its
meaninglessness

why
would i bother
crying over
something
i cant understand

the abyss might be deep
the abyss might be shallow

jump into and find out

i can't lose-
for thou not a sin

can't gain-
neither is it a win

you can't lose or win-
crumble or withstand

can't lose or win-
to an enemy I cant understand

can't raise a sword or staff
to an enemy i don't have
seriously,
stop this existential,
absurdist,
Rick and Morty,
*******

it ain't deep
to assume
meaninglessness
if you don't know

(an none of us ever will)

the true depth of the abyss
Poetic T Jul 2019
Yesterday is either a
                          regret.

Or a moment that
                      fills us with

contemplation that we

                 did something right.

But if a regret,
         we look into the
                  past.

So not to repeat the errors
that befell us,
       and brought us to the cliff

of which we jumped from.

Landing anew to the realisation,
   that we may jump.

But we will
          always land at a new point
                        of learning.
abecedarian Jan 2018
rite like Dylan/past the point of no return

all my life wanted to rite just once like Dylan.

but too set in the errors of my way to complement/compliment a master of the phrase, the original tunes I hum’em all
plagued and plagiarized and yet pleasing

head the Head over to the refrigerator, arrive in one piece,
but totally not remembering why I came this way,
cause i am way way past the point of no return

Oh yeah oh yeah cool brother Corona light to succor the soul,
while roasting body slow in a lavender bubble bath and it ain’t
even noon and no no room for company, this solo wonder-boy
tripping alone

pay my bills in the bath, winnow the widow-maker reading list,
good ****** on a free sundaey and there ain’t no football to watch and autocorrect authority don’t like ****** it only godded one D, as if He needs two D’s to mess us up better

the Corona doing magic trick disappearing so fast and here i am
certified past the point of return and there ain’t no more beer
in the general vicinity

so now the time to summarize my little darlings;
don’t break beer bottles in the bathroom,
don’t pay your bills in the bathtub when u gots 53.42 in cking,
don’t take your iPhone unsheathed into the same vicinity

all you will be left with is maxed out cc’s,
messes you want
not to tangle with,
brain leavings of a bad poem half write,
it isn’t even bad dylan mimicry
but confirmation you passed the point of no return

and u happy hum
don’t think twice it’s alright
it is all on my cover photo
thesa Apr 2019
i swear
every time your lips meet mine
i lose it
i lose everything

it seems as if
we are our own universe
and you are and will always be
my focal point

i’ll be drawn to you
from where ever i am
i’ll be drawn directly into your arms
for you to welcome me home
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