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Eitten S Apr 2020
i wonder what a noose around my throat would feel like

i wonder what the pills in my mouth would taste like

i wonder what the razor against my skin would feel like

which one would hurt the least?
which one would be quickest?
which one would make it easier for those i’ll leave behind?

i wonder how long it would take for them to go through my things

i wonder how long they would cry for me

i wonder how long it would take for them to forget me

when will be long enough?
will it be years? weeks? days?
what amount of time will make it easier for those i’ll leave behind?

i wonder if my life will amount to something

i wonder if anyone will remember me as a stranger

i wonder if i have the courage to end myself

i guess we’ll find out
ANUSHKA PANDEY Apr 2020
Empty, light and dull,
My school bag rests on one of the walls,
Once full with books notebooks and pens,
Now bear and deserted it looks small.

Yesterday, while clearing my shelf,
My class VIII classwork notebook popped up,
Those were also the days,
When our copies were neatly covered up.

These days I sleep late at night
because Now there is no waking up early rule,
These days I wake up at nine,
As now I am not running late for school.

My wardrobe is full of colourful shirts
But wearing the white one daily I miss,
No sport shoe can ever match
Wearing white PT shoes bliss.

While searching for a bowl I found my Tiffin,
But there was no lunch in it
Also there aren’t those people around,
Who jumped attacked and finished it within a minute.

I still hear the interval bell,
In front of my TV when I sit,
I still hear those gossips and laughs,
While finishing my meal, those several hands I miss.

I was bored of studying the subject,
But I had no water bottle to fill,
And no school corridors to take a round,
I realised it wasnt the fifth lesson in school,
So I quietly turned back to my musics sound.

Every time I doodle
I remember bulletin board
I remember my house duties
Every time my nail grows

It’s raining and snowing these days
But nothing is as fresh as sitting next to the window in the class
Blankets in Quilt dont allow us to get out of our beds,
But nothing is as cosy asSitting on the seat at the last.

Donning my new dress, I was getting my picture clicked,
But it wasn’t as special as our last seat selfie,
CCD’s coffee was also not able to,
Match the taste of a canteen’s tea.

I go out of my home several times,
But never does it match the bunking thrill,
I take various Scooty rides,
But never am I able to showcase my reach school within five minutes skill.

Every time I get a call from my classmate,
Our whispers I miss,
Every second every hour every day
For those days to return I wish

At 2:00 in the noon
I go to bed for my nap
I miss returning Home from school
I wish those days could be swapped..

Sometimes we don’t realise
How the smallest things have a large part to play
And as the days passed, and time flies by,
It’s only memories that we are left with to say.

Every single thing at home
Reminds me of school life
I want to relive those golden days
Just one more time.

A couple of months from now
We will officially be ex schoolites
Teachers scoldings punishments and failures
After that For every single moment we will strive.
A heartfelt from a 12thie
Kai Apr 2020
If I don't make you happy, I want you to go.
If you don't get the greatest sense of relief when my name appears on your screen, then I want you to go.
If arguing with me and thinking about the chance of losing me doesn't take your breath away then I want you to go.
If there is even the slightest doubt that I am the one for you
(even if only in this moment of your life), then I want you to go.
If you wake up and see that I tried to call you because you ignored
me the night before and you don't feel like a stupid idiot, I want you to go.
If I take too much of your time and you don't think you're doing the things you want to do, I want you to go.
If the idea of ​​my skin touching someone else and my voice whispering someone else's name doesn't make you bite your teeth and fill you with anger, I want you to go.
If you've said sorry so many times that even your subconscious mind already realizes it, I want you to go.
If the only time you say you love me is when I'm either not wearing clothes or telling you I never want to see you again, then I want you to go.
If you can look me in the eye and tell me you didn't kiss her, I want you to go.
If you are able to keep me up all night waiting for you while you go somewhere else to do something that you know will make me feel bad, then I want you to go as soon as possible.
-and if you don't love me enough to go, I totally understand that.
Sammy Fowler Apr 2020
My life changed
Forever
Just 'cause of
One accident
el Apr 2020
loving someone
is only giving them a door
giving them a door
a lock
a key
and a wrecking ball
they can choose to
destroy you
save you
protect you
they can do whatever they please
and in the end they leave
whether by
betrayal
forsaking
or death
they leave
and take a piece with them.
Sammy Fowler Apr 2020
Do I have someone else? NO
Do I have you? NO
Do I have your love? NO
Then why not let me be someone
I want him, just him
Nothing else
No one else!
Sammy Fowler Apr 2020
Please let me live in peace
When I die, I die alone
But while I live, I wanna do what I love
But no more
My sounds are suppressed
I am not heard, just left to be done
I am not a doll, you can't control me
But you will, because who cares
Even after I'm alive, I'm dead
What else does it feel like
One thing-
NOTHING
Mandi Wolfe Apr 2020
He sleeps while I lay awake
No news.
I think this is the nature
of boys.
How many times have I lain awake
while a boy I was ******* slept?
Sometimes when you are faced with absurdity
All you can do is sleep.
I think I've made a terrible mistake
but this isn't the first time I've felt
this way.
I am not to be trusted.

I don't think I've slept in nearly two years.
Instead closing my eyes only in the merciful combination of desperation and design.

Last night he went to sleep at 12:03
I listened for his breaths to slow.
I rubbed my feet together
softly;
In near panic.
And didn't turn on Josh Ritter until
12:33.

Aside:
Falling in love =/= being in love
Life is all about lessons. Choices.

🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶
I never felt alone until I met you.
🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

Not alone like this.

Do you dwell in this space also?
Am I less alone in at least that much?

Sleep softly, babes.
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