I yearn for the day
That these
Soundproof chambers
Won't scream so
Inescapably loud

If only you woke upon that final day
Woes and sorrows never been more astray

You send a prayer to who you love so
And the day that you're gone, they all will know

Picked a flower, raining petals through the yard
Each one a thought you can't discard

And when you're leaving, in place of someone's birth
Your final memories will rest here on your earth

Oh please I’m begging rip my heart out…
Release my soul and make me suffer!
I’m tired of listening to stormy nights and
I’m tired of faking to everyone my laughter.

Oh please just rip my heart out
And step on the body full of regrets.
My hair holds memories with full length and all
Just walk through me and detest my beautiful soul.

Please I’m asking for your forgiveness,
I’m asking for your unreasonable touch!
You are the one who got me all fearless,
Yet you are the one who makes feel numb.

Please just listen let me talk… I am worthy
Of being loved.
My heart is ripped of, body full of plastic
I am ready to finally let all this go
I’m above the grass forever alone,
Letting myself rot in there,
Finally
I am moving on.

O one that holds the strands of fate
Weave this worthless soul a tale
From your fragile winding strings
stronger than armies of noble kings

Don’t let this wandering wretch be lost
Through your halls of ancient tales
With the ways of your silky words
Let my deeds be louder than storms and gales

Let my name be heard when the songbird sings
By your cold and placid grace
To your strands I hold and cling
Until you lift me from my lowly place
And be with you ever…. coiling.

i said, would you wear my shoes
you said no, you have never used such shoes, you don’t imagine you can
and i said well that’s good
wear this hat then, i said
i will walk with you in the scorching sun, maybe offer you shade
you said no, you got to make appearances
would you read my soul, i asked
you said - no, it’s not what i read
i said okay, what if i give my shoes, hats, soul, blood and flesh
no you said, you don’t feel like it
okay, i said, i’ll write everything down then
but i restrained the spill,
until my body was full of perforations

riffed on and on
about these implosions that is the world inside of me
pretty words and raw sketches did not get it any lovers
lovers that only knew to love
and everything else felt so vacuous
so lacklustre

dissect me, let me be your science and god- i plead again
but i thought i am not reaching you because my words were not adept
so i made it better and i was all the more unreachable
until maybe i thought that was fine,
i will be unreachable, sad but well

will you reduce me, let me be an atom that intrigues you endlessly

so i plea
so i plea
shamelessly
i will make you coffees and teas and potions unheard of
i will let you cut into flesh of my dreams,
we will make love in a cobweb of intricately beautiful poetic delusions
but i am tired too