Sitting alone in a darkened room
Pondering here…
…………………………..what should I say?

This pen is almost silent now
These words depend on what I write
I wonder how the story goes but
I not so sure that anyone knows

My muse does not attend today
She’s left me here with naught to say
The pitter-patter of her tiny feet
Is nowhere near that I can hear

Her wafting jewels of thoughts unfurled
Are locked up tight beyond my mind
Her patient touch I love so much
Is just a memory (a phantom's touch)

I figure if I write this down
The world will turn around again
Perhaps there’s something more to say
Or maybe there’s another way

I can’t be sure—I won’t pretend
The thoughts I have are better said
Than written down and left for dead
They’re churning now inside my head

So listen close and you will hear
The mystery of this darkened place
The chance there is to make it clear
Is almost gone and not so near

I miss the phantoms of you..
I miss you haunting me..
I use to be afraid of your ghost..
And then you left..
I could never leave..
I wish you would come back..
But you left because of me..
And I stay because of you..
But time one day whispered into my ear..
And told me I was the phantom, I was the ghost that scared you away..
It seem like only days..
But truly they were years..
And you returned to me..
Silver and gray..
And showed me a way to heaven..

I thought I saw you yesterday
Just walking down the street
But it was only someone who looked like you

I thought I felt you last night
Hugging me close so I wasn't afraid
But it was only a dream that I soon woke from

I thought I heard you this morning
Calling my name from the kitchen
But it was only my sister using a funny voice

I thought you were with me just now
Telling me everything would be okay
But it was only the thoughts inside my own head
Missing you

I'm the victim of my own
          actions
                    when you say you love me

I'm the enemy of my own
          heart
                    when you try to hold me

I'm the phantom of my own
          reality
                    when you dream about me

I'm the closed door of my own
          life
                    when you try to free me

I'm the past of my own
          future
                    when you decide to leave me

She sits upon her royal chair,
eating a donut, drinking coffee, smoking a plume
smoke rising like a phantom menace in the air.

She calls upon her royal friends she sees,
the batting false eyelashes to a perfect stranger
asking the "gentleman" only for his "hand" by all means.

She drives in her royal chariot,
A red and orange one, flaming stripes at the sides, singing
Songs about the battles and triumphs of wartime's "great" merit.

One day this lovely newborn bird will fly the coop,
the child I know by rights was a born queen! She'll
win first in pageants and then we'll drink to soul's soup.

She called out my name,
It sounded really loud
Like that of one in distress,
Screaming from a crowd;

Felt a cold chill
Moving on my skin;
I was home alone last night
Or where else could i have been?

So i turned on the light
To know who's in bed with me,
There she lay- a frozen corpse,
Staring back at me.

I can still hear you,
Singing to me softly,
Your eyes on me only,
Whispering "do you still love me?"
I can still feel you,
Cradeling my bones,
Your arms around me,
It still feels like home.
I still see you,
In every boy I kiss,
And every crack
On the sidewalk
I stay up late,
I grow weak,
I can't stop these feelings,
I can't stop you.
You flood my mind,
My brain is New Orleans,
And you're my Katrina,
And my levees break every time.
I know I can never have you again,
But at least I can miss you.
My body aches from
Aging too early
Because living without you
Is like adding decades to my heart,
And no fountain of youth
Can quench my thirst
You're my phantom limb,
Ive lost you, but I feel you
With every move
Every step
Every time.