All I crave is gone
If only for a moment.
The world comes crashing down
And doesn’t make a sound.
It halts to a silence, as I sit here waiting
In frustration for something to come.
The truth
The truth is the only one.
I don’t know.
I don’t know anything,
I don’t know a single thing.
Can’t see past what I see with my eyes,
It’s not true, yet not lies.
There are no words to describe,
No descriptions to remember,
No memories to connect,
No connections to feel
In terms of this “real.”

All I see is clouds passing by,
Across a distant sky;
It’s hard to breathe
From inside a cocoon.
I swear I’ve never come out of the womb,
Trapped in a circular room,
And I can’t see.

I look into your face by the light
And what a beautiful sight
It seems to be.

Oh, but I could’ve changed it
As much as I could’ve escaped it.
And I can’t escape it for my life.

Because everything I perceive is a dream
And in reality, it’s hard to see.
All these intricate shapes are just a mass of blurred arrows to me,
Leading off differently
But meeting here.  
September 5, 2004

ANY state of mind but despair is illusion.
ANY illusion is a deceit to oneself.
ANYTHING but despair is false.
Illusion will always be just a lie to give meaning to delusions.
To hide truths and ease the consciousness to false belief.
Reality is only evident when despair prevails.
When eyes can see beyond the masks and veils of the everyday.
Illusion and delusion are the common state in which we live.
The reality of despair is where truths prevail always.
Illusion and delusion torn aside.... despair.

I am having a crisis,
But there's no need to response,
Since I've always been like this
So what else can go wrong?

Being under psychosis,
But you won't notice that
Can't tell you anything
Because you can't handle facts

I know it's a lot
It can be a lot to swallow
But feel my hurt today
To give us better tomorrows

I know it's uncertain
The future becomes unclear
So stop ignoring all the things
That fill your heart with fear

I know, you're a human,
I know, it makes you scared,
Seeing all the work you put into me
With an eye blink disappear

I know, you're human,
I know you are not prepared
But this is the way my life goes
It'll be better if for me you're here

I am having a crisis,
But you cannot respond,
We wonder why I'm like this
Why was I ever born?

Being under psychosis,
But you won't acknowledge
So I tell you somethings
Overreact, astonished

Calm down, there's nothing
There is nothing to fear
For you, I'll change my perceptions
It's alright, I don't need prescriptions

I know it's set in stone
The future's always your way
So I should stop making up all these things
For the fun of it, for play

I know, you're a human,
I know, it makes you scared,
Seeing all the work you put into me
With an eye blink disappear

Because you're human,
I exist to be your slave
Your word is how I should go
Since you say so, I should behave

Someone told me
I feel too much...
like it's
a bad thing
like it's rain on beach day
like it's cold "hot cocoa"
like it's an incomplete "love letter"
like it's snowing on your vacation
//   it's a cold thanksgiving dinner
//   // a pimple on date night
//  //  your period on *** night
//  //  being broke on a Friday
and went on and on and on ... like
someone told me I feel too much
I said
Thank you, I am blessed

Once the earth was flat
under celestial spheres
then it became a globe
in the void

with countries proud
to be big bigger biggest
fighting together, up
to the planets

Some say turn turn turn
the world upside down
the Land of Fire on top
Thule at the bottom

but Bucky knew better:
with twenty triangles
he made a new model –
the flat globe

and it may be the future
he shows, with America
opposed to the rest
of the world

You're not a stranger in the universe
You aren't a unique fluke of life
You weren't born into a curse
And there is no wrong or right

When you look into yourself
You'll start to figure out
We're not meant for material wealth
Its hard to believe without doubt

One day i hope you realize and feel
That what you are deep down inside
In the essence that makes you real
Is what can not be denied

You are
the fabric
and structure
of existence
itself

Life is but a dream
Perception but an illusion
Strange as that may seem
Wake up from your delusion

When your soul journey begins
Don't scare away too easy
Don't judge thy self for sins
I know that sounds a little cheesy
But take a second to believe me.