the phenomenon of phantom pain
in limbs that aren't there anymore,
but still itch, still cramp and still ache;
just a memory of a memory, coming apart
with every impossible move that is made.
like a blind man, traversing through the dark,
feeling his way by touch, by sound, by smell
through the endlessly changing world,
guided by his memory, coming apart,
longing for things that aren't there anymore;
the phenomenon of a phantom heart.

i see visions of various
lives that were mine
in a different place,
at a different time.
and i hear conversations
with friends from elsewhere,
but they aren't here now,
so i wish i was there.
and i know it's just signs
of me losing my mind,
but it's such a small price
if they make me feel loved.
i can barely hold back
from letting it loose
to consume me completely,
since there ain't much to lose.
all i have is a dream
of not wanting to die
in a different place,
at a different time.

when the time comes
i want my story to be told
from a place of love,
i want to to know
that there was someone
somewhere
who gave a ****,
even if just a little bit.
please don't twist my words,
don't turn my intentions
into long-term plans,
'cause there is nothing long-term
about the way
somebody's life ends.
i used to have a vision
but at some point
i made a decision to try my luck,
so when the time comes
my only hope is
that my story is told by someone
who gives a ****.

My leaving without a goodbye wasn't to show you,
Your place.
I walked away as I learned mine.

It wasn't resentment on my part that stopped our sincere converse,
rather it felt they were falling into thin air.

And I apologies,
I always will,
for disappearing on you,
please understand that I needed myself more than I wanted you.
                                                            ­                                         ~ImoS

Hi,
I'm sorry for taking some of your time,
You could have spent it on something useful,
But if you could just read what I've written,
It's okay if you hate it,
I’ll change it for you,
And if you still don't like it,
Then I'd go around the world,
The universe,
The galaxy,
And find the perfect one for you,
And if I can't,
Then, I'll just disappear,
I'm sorry,
I just said a lot,
I just wanted you to understand that I understand you,
So you won't misunderstand my intentions,
But if you like it,
I’ll shut it,
The human emotions takes turn,
Spinning in the head…
Oh, you are getting bored?
What would you like me to do for you?
I’d change each mask just for you,
Just for you to like me,
Why?
That's just me,
Or Maybe I don't know who I am,
Who am I?
If I remove all the masks,
Who would I be?
Yes, I am afraid,
Afraid that I won't be anything more without the masks,
Who was I before the mask?
Sorry for diverting,
I shouldn't have,
You can tell me your opinion,
I’d bring the moon,
Just for you to like me,
Please like me,
Do you like me?
…
Do I like me?

~TulipsandCats❤️❤️

You are both fun and a pain
While I’m reminded of the good times
I also want to rip out these memories
I blame you
You were the older one
Suppose to watch me
Protect me
But because you wanted to hide your pain
Behind a haze of ******
Today, I can barely face my own
I want to laugh with you
But debate weeding you out of my garden
I love you but hold such hate for you
Though we are siblings still

Sometimes I like to watch people and try to see
Who is happy
Who is free
Who wails at night
And each morning basks in sunlight
Who has a home with a little garden
And who is still trying to make a bargain
Who could find light amidst sorrows dark
Who is healing a broken heart
And I always wonder who could be
As lonely as me

You’ve grown where you were born
Never leaving the comforts you’re familiar with
Yet not knowing the wonders of the unknown
Never risking potential experiences
Choosing to keep within your ceramic walls
Has made you wary
You find yourself safe and protected
But your roots are stunted without care
And you can’t escape the mites that eat your leaves