softly now
your name is called
time is ceasing
it is the order of things
cosmos

@journeyofdays

I find myself doing the things you used to do.
The way you'd bite your lip when you were thinking.
The way you'd put your hands together
During a scary movie.

I find myself mimicking the little things
That I loved about you.
And it breaks my heart to feel this;
That I can't get you out of my head.

Your actions, your smile, your voice:
They're imprinted in my brain.
You became a part of me
And I think that's what made it hurt so much
When you left and took that part of me
With you, away from me.

Everybody tells me
"Just get over it"
"Move on"
"It was just a stupid summer crush"

But you were everything to me
And I don't think I'll ever be able to feel that again.
I steeled my heart and closed off my mind.

I'll never let anyone in like that again.
Never.

But sometimes... I want to

Sometimes your darkest moments become the moments when you see the clearest.
When you let go and see the world from a different perspective.
That the moments you spent with someone are the ones that have made you the happiest.
The things you’ve feared all along have become your most desired objective.

When you have completely given up and see how the smallest things can spread happiness to everyone.
You wish for the emotion that has eluded you for so long.
Then you realize that happiness can always be found and you need to rely on no one.
But even so there is always that one person to which you belong.

Most of the time the one you truly need has been the one right in front of you when you needed someone the most.
Giving you the strength you needed to face each day.
Perhaps it’s the person who you’ve held so close.
The one that’s always been there to show you the way.

I had someone like that and after everything we have been through.
The only person I want to be with is you.

I sit in this place and watch the cars go by
Like the memories I have of the times that have passed
Time seems to have a lead foot
And it goes by quicker than any of them
I've buckled up for the ride
But I realize I should have just stayed home
Now I'm just waiting till the tank is on empty
Because at this rate, it won't be long till the rides over

-AJT

Just another morning
when twilight reaches my windows.
The days and I darken.

To enjoy the sun with strangers,
we walk in unacknowledged silence.
We have the same warm skin
but to bring it up would be weird.

When we fill the street
is it correlation or causation
that the sun joins us?

They always fade;
I would like to make it to four in the morning
with the warmth remaining.

Strangers pass,
all warm,
if only from our own blood,
but to bring it up would be weird.

Curiosity let me down
Why do I hate what I have found
Why do the walls look awful thin
How long before the sky caves in

But I got hooked on these blue and purple lights
And i found myself in the streetlamps in the dead of night
Crystallizing, like the frost around my rib cage
A palette colder than the snow falling from outer space

Freeing myself From the hands
Finding my life is to my own detriment
Finite, caustic in the games we play
Dissolving underscores the price you paid

Rain drops
Bluer than the sky
Tears of someone high above
Felled in spirit
Will defenseless
Recognizing they were selfish
Despite all my endless walls
Broke the sky down to a fault

And the shards now fall all around
My outstretched arms
And broken heart

Saving grace is in my lungs
Biding up the time here spending
All of it pretend inventing
Ideas for the passing eye
Finding out why days go by

A wooden kid with a furrowed brow
Carved this way and made to wonder how
How long might we survive
Strung up, dancing on this twine
Woven out of atmospheric bitter sweet goodbyes

And the notes that I hum
To pass the time
-------------------
I'll still see you around, right?

Yeah, keep an eye out, I'm sure you'll see me

slipping in and out of an unconscionable haze
but drawing back into the dark; one phone call away.
after escaping into the bathroom to cover up the red, my eyes stare back, out of apparently my own head
unrecognisable i stare at the girl
who just one more year ago was loved and unsure

two hours later another call becomes another wave,
i cater myself a slave,
to the sadness on the other line
in this together but 930 kilometers away
there's not much i can do than to sit here and pray

not quite religious and little if no hope for a chance, i pray for your little p* and heart,
to feel no pain for one more day.
i also pray for my message to reach you;
your incredible ways we couldn't have taught you