You’ve overfed me everything you had at your disposable
Staring up at me as I’m hanging from the ceiling.
Chocolate, syrup, honey, lollipops.
My belly’s rumbling.
It’s scaring me.
Sweat continues to wash over my pale face.
With trembling hands I try to tear my stomach open by myself.
And there you are waving a bat right underneath my feet.
“Blindfold on or off?” You ask amusingly with a growing grin.
The black fabric peaking from your pocket which you ignore to take out.
I’ve lost. My mouth sewn shut. I can’t be saved now.
I mumble uncontrollably as you raise for the first blow.
It hurts, my whole body is ringing of burning pain, as I swing around fast side to side.
You spin for another blow with your eyes closed this time.
You miss.
You do it again, eyes open.
Pain explodes faster everywhere.
I’m muffling praying to fall any second now.
“COME ON YOU’RE GREEEDY YOU KNOW THAT?!!” He shouts jumping from below.
“OPEN UP!! GIVE ME SOME!!! I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING AND YOU DON’T SHARE??”
Tears are falling. I’m the one at fault. I’m the empath and you’ll do anything to make me feel this way, no matter what I do, it won’t be enough.
You overfed me and I ate so it was my fault.
You tried getting it all back but couldn’t expel it out of me so it was my fault.
You did your part, and all I did was intervene.
It’s all my fault.
It’s not you.
It’s all me.

Beat me down, break my skin.
Like a glowstick, the party begins.
After I’m broken, bruised, and bleeding.
Celebration starts as I’m on the floor, reeling.
Rolling on the floor with laughter and pain,
I join the party, still ****** and maimed.
Together, we laugh. Alone I cry.
No one sees this pain of mine.
But I find it okay.
Even better this way.
Don’t let them see it.
But let them do it.
Let them hurt me over and over and over again.
Let them hurt me, these monsters, my friends.
They beat me up; they broke what didn’t bend.
And like a used up glowstick, the party, it ends.

Our divorce party

is great, it definitely --


bonds us together.

Warning: Suggestive Content
TV Girl Inspired song


Laughing

the party

it was a bit too loud

but we didn't care




The smell of cigarettes

the warm humid air between the bodies

we were young and dumb

maybe that's all there was to it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had too much to drink

and so did i

one thing led to another

and the door shut behind us




You liar

you fool

i gave you what you wanted

is this the harsh truth




The next time I saw you

you tried once more

but you never looked at me

for i was long out of your memory

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I figured out your plan

but all too late

you think your smart

but your actions cause hate




I can't stand to see you

and your stupid smile

You play around

for you

there are no consequences




You keep breaking their hearts

It will come back someday

When no one is left

to play




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had too much to drink

and so did i

one thing led to another

and the door shut behind us




You liar

you fool

i gave you what you wanted

is this the harsh truth




The next time I saw you

you tried once more

but you never looked at me

for i was long out of your memory

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~







\\\\\­\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

You talk and talk

but you never do

you call me what you want

but you don't pay attention to who you *****

So now you blame me

for your broken heart

but on the other side

you always did it too

what a pitiful hypocrite

did you not listen

or did i not make my intentions clear?

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had too much to drink

and so did i

one thing led to another

and the door shut behind us




You liar

you fool

i gave you what you wanted

is this the harsh truth




The next time I saw you

you tried once more

but you never looked at me

for i was long out of your memory

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~







You *****

I bet it wasn't your first time

your first time abandoning

the one who loved you

It was another strange dream
Suddenly I found myself looking out an upstairs window at people arriving below
Then I thought "Wait a minute, where am I ? What house am I in ?
I don't have an upstairs, I live in a bungalow (only a ground floor)"

When I went downstairs there was this big Christmas tree up
I thought to myself "But I...I didn't put up my Christmas tree yet

And there were lots of people there and some familiar faces
And they all seemed to be smiling at me, as if accepting me there
As if there was nothing unusual, as if I belonged there.

It was like a party was going on
And then I seen my brother sitting amongst them all
One of his hands was bandaged
I didn't think it polite to ask him about it
Beside him was another younger relative
I was amazed astounded because this relative he had died a few years earlier, in an accident
Yet here... here he was right here before me

I thought to myself "This must be some kind of... some kind of Parallel
   Universe I'm in where things turned out differently"
It made me wonder was my own world  then just an illusion
It seemed so far away now... so distant

Suddenly I started to get a little afraid, I thought "But I don't know this world...this place
I don't... I don't belong here
How do I get out of here
How do I get back... back to my own world....  

Soon after this I awoke...again back in my own bed...back in my own world.

The weekend frolic troupe has come in.
The bells ring and their heels click:
the Adventist clergyman is about to get sick.

Pour the drink down the sink, let these fishes have a go at their dying wishes.

The weekend frolic troupe readies
to sweat out their usual rancid panic soup.
Dendrite clogged with salty water,
fanged grinning, and a gait that will not falter.

They are on the prowl
for the plumpest provincial fowl.
So hide, my sister
and fight, my brother.
End these sabbatical howls.

A bluebird came streaking violently out of Central Park,
it blurred over the lanes of traffic towards 220.
I flinched in anticipation of the impact,
but at the last second it darted directly up,
as if caught in a sudden wind current.
“Did you see that?” I asked Lisa.
She didn’t, her phone was jiggling.

My boyfriend left yesterday
He had to leave before New Year’s eve!
he has to work and cannot play
he finally gets to run the hadron collider
go get em’ tiger
but I’ve decided
you can’t fight the zeitgeist
that when the cats away
the girls will have their day.

Someone start the music please,
because it’s NEW YEARS Eve!

Happy New Year’s Eve everyone!
.
.
Songs for this:
There goes my baby by Kelly Jones
Back on the chain gang by the pretenders