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Karyna Holleman May 2020
try to breathe in.
try to breathe out.
his hands are on my sternum.
my mind blacks out the image.
i’m wringing my hands together.
no...i’m pulling my hair.
his breath is on my neck —my ear.
i’m pressing my palms into my eyes.
i’m not sure oxygen is making it to my lungs.
he’s making animalistic sounds.
he’s thrown my body into shock.
it’s like watching in slow motion.
—wait. no.
it’s another girl.
and another.
and another.
it’s me.
it’s her.
god, i hope it’s not you.
Sabrina Feb 2020
Panic sinks its teeth
into my laboured lungs,
my shortened breaths
signalling their imminent collapse.

Breathe in, breathe out
I've been through this before.
It's going to be alright,
it's just a panic attack.

Walking down the crowded street
among the lucky extroverted souls,
who can blind themselves
with the cacophony created by a cold city's chaos.

Keep my eyes trained on the ground,
but keep a vigilant eye on the sidewalk behind,
To be sure fear, won't ever catch up to me.
Lili Gudewicz Feb 2020
Foot Tapping
Hand Shaking
Mind Racing
Walls Breaking
Strength Taking
Nail Biting
Head Throbbing
Knees Clattering
Teeth Chattering
Life Shattering
Lili Gudewicz Feb 2020
Hyperventilation
Depleting Frustration
Suffocation
A Painful Sensation
Desperation
Without Moderation
Devastation
Eternal Damnation
Deprivation
Emotional Mutilation
Derealization
Fear Escalation
Depersonalization
Self Extermination
Tetra Hachiko Jan 2020
Stop the day, I want to get off
If you could see my face, you wouldn't scoff
Emotional discourse and violent pain
What I would do to start feeling sane
This is inhumane
I took your pills and slept and ate
I couldn't stop the coursing hate
The searing strings pull from my heart
Slowly tearing me apart
But freedom is so far away
And I cannot keep these tears at bay
With all these words I cannot say
while the mania gets to play
Nothing I do makes it sway
It's clung so tight to my chest
It's been so long since I could rest
I see no way out of this
as I fall down further into the abyss.
Man, I thought the depression was bad
I forgot all about the hold Bipolar had
maya cahill Dec 2019
the trail is endless, the fog is surreally beautiful, calming but unnerving
i’m continuously picking at the barren ground for something that i might recognize
but it all keeps drizzling through my fingers like sand

wait, i found something
i can hold it, but i can’t make it out, it’s too blurry
no, no it's slipping through again
“please don’t leave me. please.” i say, as it slowly changes from solid to goo to gone

i look around me, still trapped in here
the void in front of me ******* me deeper and deeper in
when can i escape?
when will i find my way out?

wait, i think i hear someone calling my name
it’s getting louder and louder, i turn around and around but can’t see anyone
“hello, hello”, i call back
my name is being screamt louder and louder, my ears are beginning to hurt, my vision is darkening
am i leaving now? am i finally going to return?
my body feels like it’s being thrashed around. this pain, it won’t end, why won’t it end?
“i love you.” my eyes flutter open, and my vision is clearing up. in front of me is my mother,
and she’s weeping.
I got lost in my head again.
eli Dec 2019
its happening

my lungs are constricting

breathing is stuttering

hands are shaking

i thought i was better

its been so long

my head pounds

i just want to go home
to sleep
to be alone

i could fake sick

but i wont
Lost Soul Aug 2019
I'm spirialing faster and faster
I need to rid the demons that are taking over my head
Please call over a priest or a pastor!
DeNts dEnTs...three dents in my car
If only I looked behind me
My mind had traveled too far

One bite...just one bite
I want to eat but my brain always puts up a fight

One, two, three,oh God theres more,four five, six
STOP COUNTING!!...the lines....red lines
I cant hold it back anymore!


Drip,drip, drip...tears stream down my face
I shouldve been there for you
I was the one to put u in this place

The world is black, the world is good
Cover my eyes and rock in place
Just like an unstable person would
Tap...tap..tap
Tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap
It's not working, I need my headphones
I open the plastic ....the sharp plastic
Pressing my finger to the point
The pains feels good.....

I put on my headphones
"They are empty, they are worn
Tell me what we built this for
On my way to something more
You're that one I can't ignore!!!
Mmm...
I'm gonna miss you
I still care
Sometimes I wish we never built this palace but real love is never a waste of time."

Close my eyes and listen .....
But they're are still pouring
Through tears is the only way the world finally glistens

Red ....red...I see red
I see blue eyes
I dig my nails into my thighs
to remind myself I'm not dead

My 1 yr old niece crys
and for a brief second I'm out of my head and I can actually stand up and try

Try to be normal, try to hold it in
But when I am alone once more
My depression once again lets panic and anxiety come in
...tap...tap....tap....tap.
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