It happened when I left home,
that I came across this fact;
Summer was murdered
and I didn’t care.
Like the never ceasing ticks of a cheap watch,
merciless protesting, and I play the conservative
atop a mountain of ****? [I can’t save anything].
I left home a loser and came back a martyr.
I am vulgarity and purity in the same essence.
I bleed and I congeal. I am the prodigal son
with bleeding extremities and a worn mind.
I’ve seen so very much.

To who gives a ****;
I left all my opportunities behind once.
I’ve broken hearts, many actually,
and I even had mine broken.
I dropped the dice and lost almost
as many times as I’ve won.
I’m surviving though, aren’t I?
I’m not sure whether I should celebrate
in a suit or in a corner somewhere.
I haven’t collected dust.
I haven’t grown moss.
Are you proud of me?
I didn’t have to step on anybody,
because I didn’t want to go anywhere.
Some can argue I’m cheap, or someone
who despises the mediocrity of responsibility.
I think we’ve all dreamt of wandering though,
and I wonder how many of us didn’t have a
choice in the matter. You can tell the
difference in whose looking for
vacation and whose looking
for home.

The machine
Has taken on
A life of it's own
It has become purpose
Without reason
Purpose alone
It is wired
With rules and regulations
Written for compliance
For blind obedience
For it's own perpetuation
The cold machinations
Have no desire
No meaning
Other than purpose
To survive and grow
And we, we are
The lubricant
Crushed between
The gnashing gears
To aid the machine
And make it
Run smoothly

If you have enemies.

If you live in a constant state of fear,

or you live in fear of state.

One day you wake up and realize

nothing you were promised was delivered

and resent the wealth of the few.

Sleep with the lights on.

If you live in fear of guns because

you don’t fit the status quo.

Sometimes you have fits of anxiety,

and other times you have sudden

jumps in identity and everything

makes sense because you’ve

stopped trying to analyze the chaos.

Start searching again.

Sleep with the lights on.

If you can’t breathe and can’t accept

that this is happening, although ****,

it’s so real, and all the pain feels real,

and the hunger feels real,

and the sickness feels real,

and you may sleep many days at a time to forget.

Sleep with the lights on.

Cracks in immersion,

like broken bones in

the hands of the one holding

you underwater.

Do I stand a chance?

Could you catch this bullet?

Even if you could, would you

turn the tide or

dam this river?

Who would turn their back instead

and weep for themselves, and

who would mend the hand that’s broken?

Photoshopped fantasy fictions
Misogynistic oppressive depictions
Unobtainable beauty
Fake imagery
This LIE is but violence and bigotry

I'm drowning
in a mass of asphalt
blinking lights and broken buildings
Monotone voices, mindless drivers
woken up only by perceived interference
in their trip from point A to point B
The trip they make everyday
a life that rips their cares away
one by one we all fall down
underneath the weight of expectation, obligation
pushed and squeezed into a tight little box
I won't let this be me
I won't let you take every last shred of hope within me
I may be sad, I may be angry
but I will not become the mindless robot
that has multiplied within the bounds of this city
This city cannot take me
It will not eat me alive

Beside the window sits chirping
Chirping
Chirping
Birds! I'm trying to write. DBQ... FRQ..... Fml...
Starting-
passing by the sun hides behind the top of the sky
Noon- I'm trapped
Black
white
Colorless ideas and sights
"Opinions" used to persuade the guard to mark down you did all right in your studies
Adolescents- slaves to your presence
Obey the clock
Tick
       Tock
Tick
       Tock
Tick
"talk" speak your mind as long as I agree
God forbid,
My mind wanders
Far away lands,
Flowers unsold
People oh so bold
Love un-withhold
                        Stories untold
Take hold!
Wake up!
Absorb this!
My soul is invalid...as I am a slave to sick, adolescent oppression
Education is just memorization.
.