I was the childlike girl next door for him.

He was a gentleman and the crush of almost all the neighbours.

He never spoke too much so I was never a good listener.

For him I never mattered so much.

But I, like all other neighbours, had a crush on him.

His body never got my focus, but his writings were.

Day by day I fell in love with his unspoken words.

On a rainy day I wanted to express my love,

As because it was his favourite season after all.

Yes, he loved monsoon a lot.

Many neighbours had asked him once, 

Why he love monsoon so much?

He never spoke too much, as I have mentioned above.

But he said he will narrate it on a rainy day.

When I went and knocked his door, 

His roommate said he had went upstairs.

Greeting him a smiley bye, I went to meet my guy.

Love for him or for his words, I was confused a lot.

But I had already started calling him as my guy.

Silly or stupid or again childlike girl, what he will address me now?

I was wondering and riding towards him.

He was sitting near the terrace door and was writing something.

Hey, hi, Writing some poems I guess Mr.... 

I was silent for a while.

It didn't bother me anytime, but I realised,

I do not know his name.

***! what a great lover I am,

Without knowing his name I had fallen in love with him.

My heart corrected me this time.

You have fallen in love with his writings and unspoken words and not with him.

I smiled and said to my heart,

May be I have fallen in love with his writings and unspoken words, 

But the love for him is pure and real,

And I believe the love for him is also devine.

My conversations with my heart was broken by his touch.

Seeing me lost in my own world,

He had given me a **** on my shoulder and said,

I am a writer so I want to be known by that.

He may have wanted to say something more.

I truly like a bad listener stopped him and said,

Shakespeare had once said,

"What's in a name!" 

And being a lover of your writing, 

I too want to say, 

In name there is no fame 

Because fame is there where creativity and innovation resides.

He actually smiled and kissed my forehead,

And then took me to the terrace and said,

When I had come,

The place was new, people were new,

But when I saw you, I felt something not new.

I do not knew by your name but your smile was very much known.

Your smile was like the sunshine which I knew from a time immemorial.

Then were you spoke to me for the first time,

Your words were like the breeze which inspires me to write.

I used to notice when you read my poems after coming home.

Your comments after reading my poems everyday,

Was the best gift for everytime.

And you thought you never mattered so much!

I was happy that you understood my writings more than I had expressed in words.

I am not worried about the answer, I may get now,

But after knowing about your favourite season, 

Monsoon became my favourite too.

Without any fear, I want to confess that, 

I have fallen in love with the childlike girl who stays nextdoor.

Whatever be your answer,

Just say it keeping the raindrops as our witnesses.

Drenched in rain but my tears were real.

I felt like Monsoon had gifted the best rain that day.

Without any confusion, I hugged my guy.

Many days, months and years had passed since then.

Then what! 

He continued with his Writings and unspoken words.

He now goes for world tours,
To spread his unspoken words.

And I?

Being his better half, accompany him everywhere.

I was your best friend, 

But, one fine evening,

You surprised me by the words you said.
You, had proposed me that day,

And our relationship status got changed by words that day. 

I was quite happy because I knew, you will never take any wrong step. 
And will never break my heart,
And will never hurt me hard.

Best friends now had become boy friend and girl friend.

It was cute and different.

But that was not love, I thought. 

That was friendship from heart. 

You said, "it's love, true and pure love dear, you will also feel the same, spend some time other than being best friends."

Finally, one fine day some miracle might have had happened, 

I fell in love with you. 

It was truly a love relationship for me, by words and heart. 

From then some feelings really changed.

A few days later, you said, you want to confess something, 

I thought, you now might want to marry me. 

I was so happy, I can't share in words. 

I was waiting for your arrival.

Sayed, this was true and pure love- friendship, then lovers and then married couples.
I was awesome happy from core of my heart.

You came, but accompanied with a unknown girl,

And said, "let's be best friends again, because she is the girl for whom I have fallen in love forever."

"What about us?", I enquired.

"We! We were not made for love affair. Friendship is only ok for us."

I was shocked, surprised and shattered.

You have by then broken my heart.

It took long two years since then, 

To rise up and live again.

I, finally promised myself,

Not to fall in love again.

Then again we met on a cloudy day.

You said, you are single again.

Your words, your behaviour, your attitude,

All were strange that day.

I felt, I was talking to some stranger,
Who is not my best friend.

That night you came at my place again.

And said, "let's fall for each other again."

I was very sure with myself,
And rejected your proposal face to face.

You requested me to think over and over again.

"I am sure, I don't want to fall for you again."

Hearing my words, you left the place.

No talk, no promises, no connection since then.

And, now, after a decade, you have come again and saying,

"Tell me something so hurtful that I don't miss you forever."

Why such downmarket things you are speaking?

What I said that day, are still my words, today.

If this is not hurtful, then put yourself in my shoes,

And imagine how much hurt I have got,

Which had made the heartful girl so very heartless.

I lay lost on this floor
Thorns wrap my **** flesh
The throes of hurt ever more
For I have no urge to thresh

Once our bond so strong
A friendship of love
Reasons are lost among
Nor care of thereof

Wrap me tighter in these binds
For I am no longer whole
Your eyes are lost and confined
Our numb and lost souls

Bleeding wound deep within
Flame no longer ablaze
Empty heart of what has been
To carry on a haze

For we are dying my love

Gone
Empty
Alone
Worthless
Pushed to the limit,
But holding out for a savior.
About to fall,
But holding onto the hand of a stranger.
Trust invested in you.
With the hope you see those promises through.
I've been a shattered shell for too long.
Trusting my judgment, then being proved wrong.
Never knowing when the time is right,
To stop crying myself to sleep at night
I feel nothing
No words
No life
Just an empty shell.
I'm stuck under a spell.
Drifting further into a black hole.
Shattered and lifeless, my life takes a toll.
My body is being taken over, yet I still feel
nothing. Nothing at all.
My heart being treated like a kickball.
Thrown around, beaten, forgotten about.
Those dangerous thoughts that follow the doubt.
I just want it all to end.
I don't want to feel the pain anymore.
There's nothing left to fight for
Before I know it I'll be chasing the sun.
I'm done. With Everything. I'm done.
I feel nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
Worthless
Alone
Empty
Gone

The longest distance
a man has to go through
for his lady
is the distance
between where he is standing
to the place where
her father has always been.

{k.z.a.}

She couldn't even fathom the words
frozen spirits have now revealed the rule of thirds
who is by her side, no one?
who is walking by?
she rose from the ashes
as the lord of the skies
in the heat her body quivers
whispers of evil now driven
pulling from all corners -
while answers left given
trusting choices that create destruction -
leads to an undeniable entry, yeah
she kept a brave face through the pain, she'll never break
believe me when I say if there's will there's a way
she is trying to find herself through the misty gloom
every step pulling her back, further from the truth.

*The sacred bird has now awoken
the lies deliver anxious nerves but they've now spoken
the curve of her wings lifted as it waves and mimics
the creature is now present as the sacred phoenix!

Looking out into the blistering night
further my travel to reach a mystic height
why can't i get there yet?
the distance increased when i misplaced my steps
why can't i just get there?
across the glaring beam of the central star
my journey to meet my love feels so far
i try to avoid the malignant zone
oh... But i'm soon to find my home.

I need to touch her shoulder
these many nights have been getting colder
oh lord all i wanted was to just hold her
through the months of walking
my wishes stem from contantly hoping
i still avoid the menacing zone
oh... But i'm soon to find my way home.

It's true that if i do not give up the fighting
i will prevail to witness my dream sighting -
of a woman that i glorify as my queen
a soul that has cared through my days of being green
will i now make it?
who knows, but this trip feels like i've walked to Rome
i see her, standing within Zion now i've finally found my home!

some of us live for our families
others live to be above their enemies,
freedom means we are kept to make our own decisions
the battle to live is still in question,
so i ask, what do we live for?

Could it be because we'd rather appreciate our god given rights
or to try to survive each and everyday and win fights
smile while you can, and push through today,
and worry about the future later
who will come down and take the role as our saviour?
the battle to win is still in question,
so i ask, what do we live for?

Is it the religous beliefs we are taught to abide by
or to keep our children giggling so they forget to cry
either way, the bliss is found amongst the above situation
will we all sustain a level of understanding and compassion
is it in belief or kindess,
we are all here for each other to eliminate loneliness
so the battle to win is still in question,
so i ask, what do we live for?

It might take a century for us to pick up the sword
its not something that needs to be kept on a score board,
is it the pain we all surcome to
i'm thinking its the mistakes we dont learn from that is true
so could it be that we are all modified to lack and forsee
or are we stored to never recognize that we need to be
i think its us to think and set our minds free
so the final war is still in question,
so i humbly ask, what do we live for?

who and what do we live for? To answer that question, is like looking through an everlasting bottom of a well...