"you'll never know what it's like to be a mother"
"Oh I didn't know you raised your brothers"
"Hmm, as well as your cousins?"
I was in California youth connections fighting for fosters by the dozens
I was the child left behind
But I was never blind
I knew my bind
My grind wouldn't stop
Making sure no child was left at the bottom
Made sure they could always shoot there shot
I knew just because I didn't get it
Doesn't mean I didn't want them to win it
Raise up the next generation so they can do better
Cross your t's and dot your I's
Make sure they can read every letter
Because it's not about how good or bad you did
It's about making sure they get through the stormy weather
So give them a jacket, some gloves and a hug
Because you can give them the world
But what a child needs most
Is love

My mother and her mother,
(four generations of mothers to be exact)
All conceived children They didn't want,
because They couldn't bear the alternative.

My sister and I are the only two who survived.
The intergenerational resentment
that is cast among each woman in our family
who decides to carry the burden of their unwanted child.

My mother loves us as much as she is capable-
Just like her mother and mothers mother before her.

Birthed into four generations of hurt,
that longed for acceptance and love that only a mother could give.
But each mother couldn't.

It took four generations of women and their pain
and longingness for love,
to create two women who are full of nothing but love
and are hungry to give it to the world

(we forgive you, because it's all you've known)

A quick wipe of her face
Evidence of the stream
Now gone
A deep breath and a few sniffles
Clearing herself up before going back
To Them
Have to remain strong for them
Put the veil over her tiredness
Camouflage her hurt
The distress and heartaches are abundant
Yet for them
It is of no issue
She’d continue to show face
Give her very last breath
All for them
Their happiness, smiles
The very sound of their laughter
Yea...that’s all that matters to her
All that makes sense in her world
All that ever would
So
.
.
.
Deep breath, few sniffles
Clear face
The little loves of her life awaits

Here's to the women who stay strong.
Here's to the women who got men
To admit they were wrong.
Here's to the women
Who became mothers.
Here's to the women
Who don't take crap from others.
Here's to the women
who are struggling.
You got this. This one's for you.
Thank you for everything you do.

I know you always wanted to be a fairy. To sprout wings and fly away. Makes sense, because you were always beautiful and lovely.


I miss you and think about you every day. I wish that you weren't gone. I wish that you were here to stay.

Blessed with a heart of gold. So soft, caring. The extent of your unending love was untold. The world lost a wondrous soul. Without you the world has grown cold.

At long last you've gotten your wish.
You've gained your wings and are now free. No more pain, fear or heartache.
At long last you have no more anxiety.

Now in Gods kingdom, with your new found flight you can fly free. With joy in your heart you can finally enjoy the person you were meant to be. Even in sorrow, that idea causes me to be full of glee. Maybe in my sorrow that idea is the idea that I really need. To be at piece. Knowing you are free.

With sprouted wings.

One night
I spoke out of bed
To clear my head
Something is ill advised to anyone
Under 14
Should do
From the night mares
As i walk i hear
Crying loud moans
I look into my
Bahai/muslim neighbor
Torture her children
To death because they
Choose peace instead of jihad
From then on I saw them
Playing in the street
In the middle of the night
White as the ghosts
They are
As if pleading to me
To help their story
Well here it is