I always wonder why by the end of the month
Every smell changes like seasons fall into place
How today would smell sappy and fresh
But tomorrow it’ll be sugary and sweet

Once, I saw you changing it
I asked why you do that
You smiled and handed it to me as I sniff it,
“Nothing really lasts long.”

Whenever I get a sniff of this it reminds me of that place
I’d always go at the back seat or beside you
But now you’re gone it’s never the same
For I never experienced being beside you again

Now, I get why you change it every month,
For even the pleasant smell of an air freshener is temporary,
Despite of its strong and rich scent
There’ll be a time it needs to be replaced

Soft and musky
Clean and cool
Mild and delicate
The scents you always loved

So as I change my car freshener,
I still wonder,
If you were here by my side,
Would you be the one to change it every end of the month?

Eleven years ago I am a vulture
picking at a rabbit on the side of the road.
I am just doing what I must to stay alive,
and the casual observer passes by
to observe, rapt, disgusted but unable
to look away. Then a wind blows and I
am Victor in the motel hallway, knees
enclosed in my elbows, head tipped back
against the wall and eyes on the ceiling
in dismay. Then the train hits the tracks
and I am cracked and reassembled
in the present day, carrying all these
ways that we’ve been gay. Feeling our
burns of each degree, how we are
learning family.