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Toby Raines Oct 1
The stars never shined so bright
The light was blinding
A star in his wake.
To have gotten so lucky,
To find such a lovely star
In a galaxy full of ash and decay
Was like finding a piece of gold
In the bottom of the ocean
Except he wasn’t valuable
In a way that was priced.
He was valuable in the way
A thousand paper cranes are.
Valuable in a way
A newborn kitten was.
Something new, a wish
A breathe of life in an otherwise
Dead world.

The stars never shined this bright
Until you came.
Toby Raines Oct 1
I need to go
I have to run
This isn’t fun
I jumped the gun
This isn’t fun
This isn’t fun
I’m on the dash
It happened fast
I need to dash
It’s all so bad
I can’t take back
What I shot out
I need to run
This isn’t fun
I play these games
My ******* brain
Is never sane
I try again
But it’s always lame
Turn off my head
And out I bled
Toby Raines Oct 1
She wasn’t there.
Not in this world,
not in another world,
nowhere.
So how did I see a woman that simply
Didn’t exist?

Beyond the bounds of reality,
Anything is possible.

The possibility of the one person I truly
Cared for the most not existing
To anyone but me.

I asked around.
My mother.
My father.
My own brain, even.
She didn’t exist,
So how was she standing right in front of me?
If only I knew, but I only got to know her.
Every day was a new adventure.
She took me to the movies to see a replay of her favorite.
We went to go get her favourite ice cream.
It was amazing.
We planned to get married, yknow?
But that was until I asked why she never hugged,
kissed,
or even let me hold her.

She told me you can’t hold someone who shouldn’t exist.
I told her she existed to me,
and she became real to herself.
It was strange when people started asking questions about her.
They all seemed to know her.
But all at once?
It was strange, and I hated it.
She soaked the attention from the relationship,
And loved existing.

I wished she didn’t exist.
And I began to disappear,
Natalie in my stead.
In my bed,
In my clothes,
In my room,
In my stolen body.
Toby Raines Oct 1
I wish it was silent
For the quiet to wash over
For things to become normal
For things to just end
For my heart to stop pounding
All too ******* hard
For the rhythm of of fireworks
In my dads backyard
To quiet down for all
For everything to silence
And for peace to bring
The sound of songbirds
A lovely ring
Something to be good
And stay that way
For life to be with you
But it can’t.
So I’ll run
And run
And run far away.
So you’ll stay with them.
I’ll be okay.
Toby Raines Oct 1
What’s this feeling?
It’s overwhelming.
Everything is crashing
falling to bits around me.
It’s all falling apart,
and things turn to ash.
Why is this happening?
Whatever went wrong?
Do I deserve this?
It’s all so much.
I want to run,
but I want to seek
I want to cry
Where am i?
Toby Raines Oct 1
I’m watching it all burn.
Everything I’ve worked for
Everything I’ve bled for
Everyone I’ve worked to please
Everything up in flames
Up in a blaze of smoke and
Agony.
But it doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter what I’ve lost
Because what hurts the most
Is the loss of myself.
I can’t let go of my past
What she did to me
The scorch marks she left
The hellfire she put me through
For her own satisfaction.
But I can’t hate her.
I can’t hate her
I can’t hate her.
What she has done is only now
Fueling my flame.
Toby Raines Oct 1
I love them.
I love them and I’d let myself
burn.
Burn to nothing but
dust.
To see them happy.
To see them living their best life.
To see them as a Phoenix rising
Rising from their ash
covered home,
and arise as someone
who can burn gently
and I’ll burn beside them.
Two happy flames in the wind of time.
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