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I’ve pushed things to the edge
And I know my faults are clear
But now the horrors sinking in
You may no longer be near
For what it’s worth I’m sorry
I’m filled up with remorse
And all the tears that fall down my face
Are from a greater force
I turned into a monster
A kind you’ve seen before
And now our love is on the line
And you’re almost out the door
I know these words are empty
That they often can betray
But I want you here beside me
And there’s more I wish to say
I’m sorry that I hurt you
I live with it each day
And the pain that I put you through
Is not my loving way
The fear I have is growing
Of losing you forever
I’ll put it all on the line for you
With passion in each endeavor
I still will make mistakes
And I’ll mess up as people do
But of any mistake I’ll regret the most
Is the one where I lose you
So I come to you in shambles
And I hope that you will see
That I want you forever
That I love you, devil lady

-AJT
This one was written a while ago in 2018.
A B Faniki Dec 2021
You happen to be one of the best
Things that she has wanted out
Of life and now that she could not
Have you it hurt like never before yet

She could not believe that she held
Her dream once, she held it in her hand
Yet she let go of it, trying to chase the Wind;
She took everything she had for granted and

Now that it is all gone, bittersweet memories
And a broken heart is all that she has.
She didn’t know what she had until it was
Gone. These days she misses the way he opens,

Up to her with just a touch like those sunflowers
In Andy’s backyard, that are planted in rows
and opens up to the sun, at sunrise. What is
left for her is to try to get back her old dreams.
Taking things floor granted have you been down that road before, when thought you love not perfect
Anais Vionet Dec 2021
Mornings are the BEST
a fresh start
who says the universe is cruel?

Yesterday’s mistakes
gone like vaporous nothings..
well, the small ones anyway.
Finn Dec 2021
A dream where my mother's blood was spilled
Only for I to be drawn forth
by horrifying angels
Asking only to take their hand
But be drawn back into the darkness
Into a comforting embrace
Telling me to only come back to this place
After I've chosen

But to no longer have counsel in this world
And having no knowledge of my options
or the consequences that may befall me
From a mistake
such as this
Is a cruel choice to have to make

Could this be
a Second chance?
Or maybe
an opportunity
to fall further from grace
stillhuman Dec 2021
Stumble after stumble after stumble
I have stumbled
through the roots of this forest
there's no light
passing through branches
just the sound of life
right outside it
And I try to reach
outstretch my hands
but my fingers get scalded
as I point them in the wrong direction
But all paths look the same
in the forest
as frantic I try to find
my way out
When they said "it's time to experiment", I should have assumed that meant "trial and error"
دema flutter Nov 2021
Did you lose weight in hopes
you'd lose the guilt of the shame you made me gain?
Anais Vionet Nov 2021
“I’m accepted!!” she squealed.
“I knew you would be,” he said, almost sadly.

She went giddy with tenderness and threw her arms around his neck to kiss him on the cheek but he’s so tall she had to go up on her toes and ended up off balance, he moved his head into her motion and their lips connected in an actual kiss.

He clutched her to him, lifting her sneakers off the ground. With her mouth covered by his and her body clamped against his and not even the reassurance of the ground beneath her feet, the determined impulse that had propelled her to kiss him collapsed into alarm and claustrophobia.

He seemed to have gone automatic and muscular, driven by instinct. She writhed to get free, and for a second, that seemed longer, she thought he wouldn't let her go. she twisted, arching her back, and the movement seemed to wake him. He dropped her so suddenly she stumbled.

“Sorry,” he said, breathless, holding up his hands as though to prove he was unarmed. “You surprised me. I wasn’t ready.”

She tried to steady herself. “It’s OK,” she said, wiping her face and standing back up.

We looked anywhere but at each other. It was a crazy few seconds.

“I gotta go,” he said in a rush, picking up his backpack and almost leaping out the door. She heard him take the two flights of stairs in 4 long steps and the front door closed.

“Is Frank staying for dinner?” her mom called from down stairs.

She didn’t answer right away.

After that things with Frank were odd, strained - she tried to talk to him - more than once and texted him two dozen times. How do you undo a kiss mistake if you can’t talk?
thinks can go sideways without notice
Anais Vionet Oct 2021
Some people get lonely at college,
but I never really feel alone.
I have these critical parental voices
that always keep me company
and point out my mistakes.
the voice is strong in me, Obie-Wan
VanillinVillain Oct 2021
What hurts the most is that I don't know how she feels.
What hurts the most is that it always ends the same.
What hurts the most are the million broken sentences flooding my mind.
What hurts the most is that she hurts deeper.

It came to me in a dream, this thing. It came to me in a dream amidst the mountain jumping and tree growing. Came like devastation. Something so world shaking as to knock me from my feet and shatter what I had thought I'd known. and how to say it? when to broach it? could I have done it better?

It was a kiss which sealed the royal decree.
that fair weather friend of uncertainty.
a pistol shot through meat and bone
to liquify my straining soul.

no one. not again.

I am too good to be true.
that little cure for wellness.
A mirror edge’d nothing of my own immaturity.
A smooth and shapeless form waiting to be fed
the venom of an

Heat rising
inflating the folds of my brain to disastrous proportions
Arms and legs numb, pounding.
Hands climbing the walls of my throat.

I shouldn’t have offered. I recognize that. It was done for the same reasons as the spider-bridge remark. Too scared am I of all of this; my mechanisms joking and sarcastic. Moving faster backwards than towards a conclusion.

and as I sit, trying so hard to think
knowing that you're waiting on my words
the music grows louder.
louder.
blotting out any other thought and though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.
You are waiting on me and though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.
and I'm burning and though the truth may vary
this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.

a week turns into millenia, turns into hours, turns into one. one moment, one beat.
one drag of the eraser.

no words will make it better. this confession has meant nothing.
It's ******. I ****** it.
No more.
10/11/21, 3am
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