Big Brother probably has me blackmailed,
for something I did in practically a past life,
never was one for playing the back field,
always more than kinda liked the spotlight,

plus I was comfortable it,
look how smooth I moved,
a fine guy a good man,
a bad boy but a cool dude,

not the type to stress you out,
or mess about and be rude to you,
nope no ma’am not him so how,
did they blackmail him oh well boo hoo,

can’t cry over spilt guilt,
can’t die over pet regrets,
you’ll survive that’s why they call it will,
not Smith’s kid but gifted yet no stress I’m set,

so let them watch me,
if anything they’re probably protecting me,
the New World Order has to have a face,
call me The Not So Anonymous Conglomerate of Everything,

stop freaking out everything’s fine,
and I can’t think of anything to do about it but type,
maybe make love do a few drugs,
then get back to the grind,

lost my mind,
tell me have you seen it,
it’s dark in here and there are cobwebs,
call me a cab I don’t have to be convinced I mean it,

Jesus,
Mary and Joseph,
I wouldn’t even believe I wrote this,
if I wasn’t the one that was there when He wrote this,

he as in me but anyways,
it doesn’t matter nothing does these days,
might flash a wave as we roll by on the freeway,
but other than that I don’t have much free time,

wanna know a not so abstract fact about Yours Truly,
sure why not let’s get to the plot of this movie,
I’m still living with my regrets,
can’t shake em like an ocean swim and I’m still wet,

this might not be a movie but it definitely feels like a movie set,

I guess,
all these screens I’m seeing these days has me confused,
I don’t know the real me nor do I know the real you,
I mean I thought I liked you but then I met YouTube,
and now well I just don’t have time hope I’m not being too rude,

it’s just these days I spend more time on computers than I do on you,

or with you,
and I’m sorry it seems it’s easier not to care,
go out this days and see Fifty Shades of Gray,
but not the shades that come with underwear,

the shades,
that come with disconnection,
as what used to be turn on tune in drop out,
begins getting spun in the opposite direction,

drop in turn out and turn off,
and this is the part,
where I don’t know if I should continue,
or if I should just stop,

so I stop,
don’t want to do anything I’d regret,
because I know They would love to blackmail me,
and they would’ve already if they had something to blackmail me with,

but they don’t having anything to use against me yet,
as I squint my eyes and focus on the TV set,
okay it’s not a TV it’s a computer but what’s the difference,
gosh this has been one heck of a ride are we there yet,

I give up let’s get going,
I’m ready to get off this ride,
leave this confused amusement park,
maybe go for a five day trek outside,

camp under countless stars,
lay on my back and gaze at the sky,
where I can be safe and at peace from the breath of the beast,
no screens nor cameras no intrusive spying prying eyes,

just myself with the Creator,
“Thank God I’m Alive!”,
then take another breath in and end with,
“Peace To All See You On The Other Side.”,

hi,
I too am in this experimental life,
please remind me of your name,
and enlighten me as to why we’re alive,

Big Brother probably has me blackmailed,
for somethings I possibly did in a past life,
never was one for playing the back field,
always more than kinda liked the spotlight…

∆ LaLux ∆

Free book available here: www.scribd.com/document/367036005/The-Sydney-Sessions-12-Steps

Reflection:
This one I agree with you
Mind's playing games with you
Baseless plans to maneouvre you
Utterly nothing, know that too

Man:
Why do we all suffer heartbreak
Why always put our life at stake
Save drowning people by the lake
Why do we have the victim's take

Reflection:
Weird questions again and again
3-Butyl-5(3,4-Diethyl Pentyl) decane
Like this, they're driving me insane
Take a breath and please try again

Man:
Solution to the problems found
Sherlock just got astound
White eyes all browned
'Not natural to be bound'

Reflection:
Stupendous ideology just created
Mental efforts all appreciated
Sensitive topic well debated
A golden reward now awaited

"Topics like these dont really end
None of the two in reality apprehend"

Man: (to his reflection)
Advise me! Tell me! Help me!
Not sure what I'm doing to me
Want out of this prison, help me
Tremendous spiny walls held me

Reflection:
Responsible but not strict
Positives in time are a hit
Think of the negative as ****
No charges, you're free to sit

Man:
Scars over my face
Can't properly tie a lace
Habit's becoming this craze
Trying to fill in and embrace

Reflection:
The problems are virtual
Complaints all perpetual
Dear this is conceptual
Happenings are all eventual

Man:
Close to your perspective
But misery isn't elective
All minds aren't receptive
Not all efforts are effective

A complete state of well-being
Is something we all hope to achieve
Though my mind constantly questions
If it's nothing more than an idealistic belief

What is truly well
What definitively is not
How does one get better
When the mind intentionally forgot

Will I ever find what I'm searching for
Will I set my demons free
Can I allow my will to loosen its grip
Just enough to find inner peace

Somewhere there must be a blueprint
Stamped upon my soul
The mind and body connection
That can one day make me whole

For now, I ponder the questions
Cause answers I have none
Yet staying true to my intent
Of finishing the journey begun

The punitive silences,
the bad atmosphere they generate,
the mind-games they use to try to **** you in
are telltale signs of the toxic person.
It could be your in-laws, a parent, coworker, your boss or spouse,
a sibling, a roommate, boyfriend or girlfriend,
someone you want out of the house.
Toxic people want to make you miserable.
Especially if you're a decent sort, they hone in on you like a heat-seeking missile.
They spew their negativity and blame it on you.
They lie constantly, or twist the facts to suit their changing needs of the moment
and they never apologize (so don't expect an apology, ever).
With a toxic person there is no reciprocity.
They sprinkle their toxic dust on you.  It makes them feel better.
Their ulterior goal is to demean you, to make you feel smaller.
They project their worst tendencies onto you,
find fault with you for traits you don't possess---
a shadow of the **** that lurks inside them.
They try to dictate the emotional atmosphere
through their attitude or twisted mood.
They drain you of your energy, bring you down,
They'll always find a reason why your good news isn't great news.
Their agenda is to cut you down to their size,
to manipulate and control
to ******* over while they play the injured party.

Confront the bully.  Speak up to the manipulator, the trickster, the backstabber.
but beyond a certain point
there is no point in arguing with them.  
Don't try to change the toxic person.  You can't.
You'd have better luck changing an orangutan into **** sapiens.
Only a shrink could change them, and then only if they hit rock-bottom.
Don't try to justify yourself.  It's a waste of time which would only draw you deeper into their net.
Set boundaries to keep their negativity in check.
Stop trying to please them.
Let that toxic somebody in your life know you're onto them
and they can't get away with it anymore.
Don't fall into their trap, don't get caught up in their life-dramas
or try to get them out of trouble.  Don't let them instill guilt in you.
But try not to take their toxicity personally.
Remember, it's them, not you.  You are not to blame
though they desperately want you to feel you've done something wrong.

If necessary (and if possible), delete the toxic person from your life and move on.
Know when enough is enough.
Saying good riddance doesn't necessarily mean you hate them, it means
your own well-being comes first.
Immunize yourself.  Preserve your inner strength.
Set your own rules.
And, when possible, just walk away.