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E 1d
It's starting to warm up
but I can't calm down
they'll tell you it wasn't so bad
"You're better now, right?"

But they weren't there
in that place
where words were so limited
actions even more so

Maybe some of it helped
but not all of it did
and sometimes I think
I'll never feel free again

He was kind
but didn't understand
she was amazing
but you couldn't get too close

Can't talk about this
can't talk about that
keep it light, please
redirect and forget

Maybe some of it helped
but he wasn't always
as good as they said
and we were constantly afraid

You can't whisper
but don't talk too loud either
watch you diet
but don't think too much about food

We all had our demons there
some more obvious than others
the pills didn't make it go away
sometimes they just made you numb

Leaving didn't make you free
there was still so much to do
and everything was so different
they couldn't handle it when you cried

So off again you went
a new place, a new house, new rules
but the same old problems
because you weren't free

The pills didn't fix you
and neither did their words
some even made it worse
and you didn't even know what home was

Not anymore
everything changed
they'll tell you it helped
"You should be better now"

They made you change too fast
and got mad when it didn't work
the mold snapped
and the real you slipped through the cracks

So maybe it helped
and maybe it didn't
but I think I'll always
hate reminders in March

Because I'm not really free
and to you, I'm not really me
a bandaid over a bullet hole
and a painted on smile

But I'll still always hate
reminders in March
The path to recovery is not linear.
In the depths of 30 years gone by,
Buried feelings, stoic, never seeing eye to eye.
Pulled in multiple directions, a weighty load,
Like Atlas, the world upon my shoulders bestowed.

Three relationships failed, a heart left torn,
The pain of one affecting those I have sworn,
To protect and shield myself from my despair,
Alone I must stand, solitude is my only prayer.

Leaving my family behind as an act of protection,
In the darkness of uncertainty, seeking connection.
Hoping to find a lifeline in this barren land,
To light my way or be consumed by darkness grand.

Abandoned by hope, anger festering within,
Anxiety grips me tight under the shadow's din.
Confusion reigns as I navigate this desolate space,
Fear and frustration etched on my weary face.

In this dystopian world rife with disappointment and failure,
I wander lost, swallowed by the void's dark allure.
Hopelessness and pain echo through the silent night,
The stress of solitude chokes out all light.
I struggled with this for 30 years.  Always doing for others, never myself, but now, that is in my past, and my future is mine.
Asphalt night
by red dawn’s light
descends into deepest fog.

A glimmer of bright
on the edge of sight
shimmers blue: I begin to walk.
Inspired by this photo I took in thick night fog: https://bsky.app/profile/jackgroundhog.bsky.social/post/3lgavecz3q22j
My ill-filled mind adrift on winds ethereal,
Hopeless, I muse on my own burial.
I dug six feet in foreign lands immemorial,
As ruminations run wild, rabid, and feral.

Imprisoned self, reborn as antisocial,
Past cohorts are now strangers, fantasmal.
Depressing illusions intensify suicidal,
Knocking on doors of the heavenly celestial.
Yet kneeling at the pulpit feels nothing special.

Words misunderstood, deemed uncolloquial,
Unbothered to learn, It's deemed impractical.
Learning the language they use in their imperial,
To make my plea resound consequential.

𝒩𝑜𝓌 𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝓂𝓎 𝓅𝓁𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝒶𝓃𝒸𝒾𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝑔𝑜𝒹𝓈 𝒷𝒶𝓃𝒶𝓁!

"𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒌! 𝒐𝒍𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝒈𝒐𝒅𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒚 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒄𝒉 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒆,
𝑭𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍 𝒊𝒔 𝒐𝒏 𝒂 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒆.
𝑻𝒉𝒚 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒌 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒍, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒍𝒔𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆.
𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖 𝒐𝒍𝒆' 𝒈𝒐𝒅𝒔, 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒚 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒆.

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓, 𝒕𝒉𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒂 𝒌𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒍?
𝑨 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓, 𝒂 𝒔𝒊𝒈𝒏, 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒚 𝒄𝒆𝒍𝒍.
𝑫𝒐 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 𝒏𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒆𝒅 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒂𝒍 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓?
𝑶𝒓 𝒉𝒂𝒔 𝒅𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒐 𝒕𝒉𝒚 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓?"

For endless ages, I wait in vain,
Enduring this stone-hearted disdain.
Forsaken and lost, your silence profane—
An eternal ache, my solitary refrain.
This poem explores themes of despair, isolation, and the search for meaning in the face of divine silence. It embodies a deeply introspective and somber tone, reflecting the inner turmoil and sense of abandonment. The tone is gothic and melancholic, with a distinct sense of frustration and hopelessness. The musings on mortality, the futility of prayer, and the feeling of being unheard give this poem a tragic, almost existential quality.

Plagiarism Notice: This poem is an original work by TheJhonDeLion. It has been submitted for plagiarism checks to ensure authenticity. Any resemblance to other works is purely coincidental. If you find any similar content elsewhere, please notify me immediately.
A silent swing
To a closed door
A slow hiss
On formal mass

Stripes and numbers
Caught in a loop
Procedures run
In reverse

Distorted lips
And posturing
Playing out
To a full room

Blurred shirts
Ebb and flow
Washing all
From my view

Time shifting
Altered path
Blurred screens
And a mouse

Warning bells
Blown speakers
Distress and
Wretched panic

A Locked door
Pounding fists
Screams and
Tears befall

Blurred shirts
Ebb and flow
Washing all
From my view

The screen fades
And the reel burns
Doused by
Eternal grief

By Darren Wall
Trauma and it's nightmares, stuck in a loop.
Millee Jan 18
left on an island out at sea, all my fears and worries surrounding me. i'm stranded, left only with the Voice inside my head; one thing that wants me dead. how do i escape? how do i become free? free the unrest residing in me. i cant swim. i'm not strong enough. the hate will only drag me down. please help me,

i'm drowning.

drowning in self hatred that i can't seem to overcome. the waves pull me further in, the glimpse of light dimming. i can't hold my breath much longer, sweet release finally seeping in. this is it, the end. my soul rests in the depths of the ocean, floating with misery.
TheJhondelion Jan 17
Closed doors and soundproof walls,
Yet darkness drowns these endless halls.
Flat on my bed, eyes trace the ceiling—
Does silence breathe, revealing meaning?

Silence should be the absence of sound,
But whispers swirl, echoing around.
Are phantoms lurking within these walls?
I race to the door—no soul in the halls.

I seek reprieve, a fragile peace,
Yet shadows mock; they never cease.
The remnants of ghosts choose to remain,
A torment etched in sorrow's refrain.

'Silence! ' I scream, through laughter, through tears.
Is this the mask of madness and fears?
'Who are you? Where do you hide? '
I beg for solace; none abide.

I rise to wander, fractured and blind,
Until I face the truth confined:
There is no other, no haunting kind—
Only the chaos within my mind.

The bourbon burns, its fire subsides,
Yet fails to drown what inside resides.
The whispers swell from faint to loud,
A tidal roar, a gathering crowd.

Their echoes rise, grotesque, unkind,
Blurring the edges of space and time.
Confusion spreads like vines that bind,
Tugging my soul, dismantling my mind.

The noose still hangs, a silent plea,
A relic of past attempts to be free.
Is this my sign to escape the fight,
To yield my place, dissolved through the night?

But even as despair takes hold,
A flicker of warmth, defiant and bold:
A memory stirs, its light entwined—
Perhaps the voice I hear is mine.
In "VOICES," I delve into the shadows of the mind, exploring the echoes that persist even in silence. This piece is a reflection of how one's inner demons can distort reality and challenge sanity, inviting readers to consider the nature of their own internal struggles.

Plagiarism Notice: This poem is an original work by TheJhonDeLion. It has been submitted for plagiarism checks to ensure authenticity. Any resemblance to other works is purely coincidental. If you find any similar content elsewhere, please notify me immediately.
V3NUS Jan 17
when I got a concussion
I didn't
I didn't cry when I broke a window with my bare hand
and had to go to the ER to get stitches
I didn't cry when I fell
and the wire of my braces
went right through my lip

I didn't cry then

so why do the floodgates suddenly open
when I have to talk about my feelings
I don't cry a lot. talking about my feelings is really hard for me, so I just don't.
Kundai N Jan 15
I'm high on likes and retweets
The hearts, and flames and repeats
I'm an underachieving overachiever

A social media facade I've designed
A highlight reel, my life defined
But behind the screens, a different tale
A search for meaning, a life to hail

The validation I seek, a fleeting thrill
A moment's high, a lifetime's fulfill
I yearn to break free from this digital stage
And find my true self, in a real-life page
Phia Jan 15
Teetering on the edge of my existence,
I do not fear death.
As she extends her hand to me
She whispers promises of infinite
peace
And happiness
And nothingness
As I look into her luring eyes
I finally feel at ease
with everything I’d leave behind
The keres: the goddesses of death in Greek mythology
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