all the **** from your mouth that you thought was inspiring
slowly broke me down until my hope was expiring
never opened my mouth to come back with inquiries
just kept my head down and wrote my thoughts in a diary
and you read it, pathetic,
invading my privacy
called me out for feigning sadness and my ‘bogus’ anxiety
cause “im a better dad than mine so shut up and be quiet kid”
“you’re lucky im the head of this dysfunctional dynasty”
well congratulations dad, you’ve earned notoriety
for forcing my respect in the form of compliancy
and disbelieving science and the facts of psychiatry
so i ran away from home to join the freaks of society
where else could i escape from your emotional piracy?

Dearest Sister,
How come you only think about yourself?

Our dog died and you kicked me out of the room because you wanted to be alone with him
What about me?

You got to sit there for hours with him, holding him as he fell into a sleep he wouldn’t wake up from
But I was sitting in the car
With a Dad that was on the phone with everybody and anybody
Trying to hold it in for as long as I could without breaking apart in front of him.

Dearest Sister,
How come you only think about yourself?

How come you tried to make yourself feel better about kicking me out?
I’m your little sister.
You’re supposed to protect me not break me.

Dearest Sister,
How come you never liked me?

I was only a kid and my first memory of you
Was of you being mean.

Dearest Sister,
Why are people so mean?

You were mean to me
So I was mean to you
And neither of us were willing to fix it
And now it’s too late.

Dearest Sister,
Why is our family so dysfunctional?

Why did you dangle your depression over our parents heads like it was a noose
And if they ever told you not to do something you would kick the chair out from under your feet?

Why did you think that was okay?

Dearest Sister,
You say that you can’t stand being home
So you’re always out
Hanging with your friends,
Driving down the countryside.

What about me?

Have you ever even thought about me?
About how much I needed to escape the mess that is home?

Dearest Sister,
I’m sorry but you messed up.

You ruined any chance of a relationship with me.
The things you have done are toxic to me
And I think about them all of the time.

So now I’m thinking about myself.
I love you,
But I don’t.

Goodbye forever,
Your lonely little sister.