Ilang oras na ba ang iyong ginugugol para sa kaniya?
Hindi man lang niya nagawang kamustahin ka.
Alam mo kahit simpleng ''Anong ganap sa'yo, Okss ka lang''
Tatanggapin ko kahit ano man yon basta galing sa'yo.

Ilang panahon na ba ang aking naubos para sa'yo?
Nasugatan pero eto ako pilit lumalaban.
Umaasa na matatauhan ka din.
Na isang panaginip lang ang lahat nang 'to.
Dahil sa huli tayo pa din.

Dahil kahit ilang beses man akong mabigo,
Ako'y handang masaktan
Masaktan ng isang katulad mo.

Everyone pretends to be a saint in the daylight.
But, when the lights go off and the darkness overtakes,
Their hidden demons crawl out and play.

I'm heaving prose at you and you don't even know it. Like fish jumping into a boat that's empty. Having risen before, being brave would seem easier, lighter maybe. Like great fluff or a fugue of an earthy red wine. My tear ducts are hollow drums, if I could I'd give you a metaphor about weeping, but I'm wept out and worn out. I'm not tired or worn down. I'm an obelisk, or a saber perhaps. I'm good coffee from a specialty roaster, but I come in a to go cup. Coffee should never be consumed from a to go cup.

You're one of those pennies people pay one dollar and one cent for, stretched out with new print on them. At the zoo they can be bought. At places where the middle class can be classless they can be bought.

You were once a starlet. A golden and imperfect deity. I'm still worshipping you. You're my startling ******, but the rigging is busted. Now I'm onto acid washes and back on ivory. Maybe you didn't mean to leave cue cards and question marks like keepsake memories under our bedroom duvet.

I'm only asking for you.

While I **** around each new city in the jargon of a Calder sculpture. I've punched door mice and killed rattle snakes with the heel of my foot. Step on with the right and bring your fingers to your lips. I've been calling good luck for decades now. Julys Septembers and Novembers too.

Just a regular guy with a big ******* rooster.

Some girl said we're swimming for each other in the dark, but I know your eyes have adjusted to the light. Don't compensate for ordinary experiences. Realize what I realize and taste the snow.

The absence of wonder in your eyes and sincerity from your mouth monotonously reassures the credibility of my contempt for casual communication with characterized ?individuals?
         My own iris has been stretched by my eager to expand awareness.

         I normally pity someone like this,
But your arrogant certainty shook my shadow to consciousness.
It told me to cast you naked into the glare,
         Maybe snip your eyelids out of spite. Its fortunate for you that I am not a slave to the fury.

No constructive change would come of my martyrdom.

You've done it this time haven't you–
You've scared off all the ghosts.
You've wasted all the men down on the splendid Western coast.

You've got your pair of eyes fixed
to the top of the Northern gate,
and you've made known your plight
to all the desperate herald saints.

You claim to be the furthest lost cause but
as far as I can see
you've done nothing
but follow the law.

You're ready now, you're ready now,
You're a martyr and it's of your own divine making.

You're a myth,
and not the kind that was intended to be kind.
You're a fiction babe,
time burns away while you tighten your soft eyes.
You were born
at the end of everything. Though,
you've seemed to take a special trip back to slyly embrace me.

But I'm taking you down with me,
O–when I go.



You claimed to be that single one sent to please
the brokenhearted, did you single out me?

You're a myth you made yourself up to be.
But like I said I'm taking you down with me.

O–here I go.

Why can't my heart
turn my insecurities into
words and phrases you'll like and relate to
so you'll give them a heart or a share and temporarily
give me a fickle reward because I'm a pointless human being
and day in day out
wish I could put my suicide into words
a literary suicide for every time
I hate my life and
wish I could go back
to being innocent before
I broke anyone
before I realized I'll have to grow up or die
before I became the
weak one
incapable of even
martyrdom.

Toes twiddling, fingers fiddling,
the wait goes on,
and on,
and on.

People passing, mind lapsing,
I wait,
and wait,
…and wait.

Bags surround me, how long will they be?
Seconds slowly tick
tock,
tick
tock.

Night falls, time crawls, in it for the long haul.
Bag carrier, hero warrior.
Shop to shop - it never stops.
True martyr, it’s in the charter.
Next week, same again? Can’t wait, glad I came.

I know I promised
I'd never write about you again
but it's five am and I am left
with this visceral feeling of
loss and anger

I use to think you stripped
Me of everything
Now I realize you didn't.
See, I forgot about the cross
The burden of love
You sentenced me to

Your name is Judas
and I will accept
the crown of thorns
and become a martyr
for ever believing that
true love existed
in your eyes